f***king pissed with some colleague

sun call me today call me. email her oso like no use for a stupid pic..
email her fine cannot receive. ok reply her say will pass her on sat still not happy
spoiler . spoil my nap call me for such nonsense.
si bei bui zhi dong..
so irritating !!
email her already./ reply her still nt enough sun received her call already bui song. today still test my patience, KNN.. i veri bek jek already lack of sleep still come n call me on such nonsense
i must calm down !!looking forward to sat.. SPA....

f***king pissed with some colleague

sun call me today call me. email her oso like no use for a stupid pic..
email her fine cannot receive. ok reply her say will pass her on sat still not happy
spoiler . spoil my nap call me for such nonsense.
si bei bui zhi dong..
so irritating !!
email her already./ reply her still nt enough sun received her call already bui song. today still test my patience, KNN.. i veri bek jek already lack of sleep still come n call me on such nonsense
i must calm down !!looking forward to sat.. SPA....

afraid of letting go to accept something new

if love can bring 2 people together, y is tat it also leads them away

one had to go thru separation, heart broken, moving on, and a cycle of accepting someone else

a normal bgr revolves the various stages.. like team forming from inital awkwardness to total blissfulness & at ease..

i m seeking someone who i can rely on.. a sort of brotherly love that prolongs even when i m in a relationship

but its so difficult . might take a whole lifetime to get to know tat someone.. SO..

n when incidents happen .it might strike to u separation is inevitable

after wolfing down 2 donuts. it feels like heaven , while listening to dylan guo's heart wrenching tunes.its recuperating forcing myself to concentrate on a relatively warm afternoon. can only absorb 40% of the content. so i m nw.ritually bloggin out of habit again.
a well deserved break on next sat with a full 2 hrs of massage, body scrub & jaquzzi, but before that is another7 days of gruellingn heavy intensive revision.
after all. only 1chance to show what we can prove our understanding. miss this n we got to redo all this agonising process on the same lousy units again
it took me while to decide if i would want to include him in this well deserved retreat.
e objective is a test to me to get over it and convince myself its not possible between us
telling myself n e actual thinking process does not correlate
soft heartedness wont work this time. face it ! sam dun ly to urself believing everthing is going 2 be okay. apparently its not.
but stubbornly i would like to know the outcome afterall we only live once
anyting is possible..when we know we try hard enough
2nd lower class....

E DONUT CRAZE..

after craving for the lovely donuts for about a few weeks i decided to try it myself on how nice it tasted. n in the end here i was queueing it for 3.5 hrs today@ the shopping mall.. THis instance just goes to show how passionate n singaporeans can be about having good food.. n i m commenting really nice n crispy ones.
Donut factory is really a huge sucess with as long as 3 barricades..as early as 11 to have customers waiting outside the store.
its really yummy n crunchy well.. worth the wait
i waited from 12noon-3.30pm for 2 dozen donuts
with 15 assorted flavors i m so spoilt for choice. but @ the same time i also can sense that i am going to fall sick if i do not stop those sinful indulgences , my body feels hot n my head was spining on the way back. coz after e 3.5hrs i waited another 2 hrs @ sim lim coz my buddy was buying tis LCD monitor screen that fails to work every time the sales promoter do the testing.so i resolved to take e cab back myself first before i really fall sick
AS expected i shared my well deserved snacks with my buddies n family..ah pa did loved those ..although earlier this morning he said that it was nonsense n complete waste of time to queue. n haha i did changed his perception after he tasted it..!! YUMMY...
Just as i tot i m going to fall sick, i give myself no chance by poping in panadol extra again n this time with an added extra booze . i armed myself with herbal tea " just in case "gulped lots of water to make sure i m in pink of health for the exam next week
my face feels a little warm now.. n i m starting to get a little giddy n tats e price for being a little sweet tooth..
zk was being a nice pal by coming over my place to guide me on my accounts the evening before.. today i had a nice break n i havent start on my notes n books yet.. e chocolate!!!.. double chocolate.. oh yeah! . so high! after consumption helps to keep me awake for tonite.. heavy reading.. before that need to load myself with sugar to be active n alert.chocolate keeps peoply happy beaming with delight . quite true but dont know how long the effect lasts.

battle @ expo hall 7

after 4 yrs grad in poly, first attempt of many years in tertiay education , i manage to have a taste what it was like in a huge exam hall with countless candidates like me waiting to submit our scripts up for marking.
the anticipation, fear & a total mixed emotions evoked through my brain. like a flash , i had to pull myself together n focus on the completion of my paper in the stipulated period of time in 3 hrs
The exam hall @ expo was huge as the rows is endless.
we c a lot of weary faces n worried expression. all ready to "charge" for exam n aim straight home.
luckily there was a break. grace period of 6 days for me before my next battle if nt i would not know how to prepare for exam
i always thought i wont be able to sit through a 3 hr paper but then i was wrong. in the middle of my exam i tot of leaving n not persisting further. instead i pop in my usual pandadol extra n decide to brave through it. no time to be scared n worried. be calm n perfom my usual self. n tings should be easy tosolve
it is intimidating but nt as daunting as i perceived it to be
i got to perserve on n hang on its jsut another 9 more days n my days of agony for exam fever would be over for this yr.

050507 1403hrs

hahahha now in bro3 place again . brought along my barang barang POA n marketing text, refernce & past yr papers to study here.. heehehehehe

muster all efforts to wake up @ 6 to revise

i m a weird bitch who refuse to sleep a lot..hahahah

rain big big.. weather damn shiok

haiyah cannot go out coz e foul weather
so before it started raining. i actually convinced my dad to play badminton with me before i started my revison coz my head was so bogged down with figures since last evening for my POA paper. head was throbbing n i had 2 panadol extra to calm myself down
n i figured well. since i had a bit of time. i can play some sports to calm myself down
theres abt 5000 candidates for exam for the 1st marketing paper. n i got 6 more days
thank god. office has stopped their nonsense calls by now.
HRM.. FW taylor. federick winslow taylor.
kelly twin track model.job redesign
POA. P &L . BS. cashflow. ratio analysis
sociogy, marx , weber. durkheim
its really a lot to digest. n i feel pressured to succumb to lazines & slumber
ok ok serious serious.. essay preparation

battle begins frm 1/5 - 18/5/07

labour day but indeed laborious nite ahead for me and the weeks to come. a lot of focus & effort to make things happen. nt letting anyone to ruin my well deserved break.
enough of socialising now is not the time to play already. if i do not want to risk failing anyunit or waste another more yr of mine.
watched wild hogs. veri enjoyable but have to start long nites at the study table n decline kind dinner offers frm my frens or any form of group date if possible..
coz will get distracted n waste more time on unnessary activites.
i tink have to tabao for most of my meals so as to maximise the hours possible.
hope to c the light after the dark tunnel to c my efforts paid off, fruits of my labour
with all my hectic schedule put in ..
ok adios. have to start revision . serious revision.

genki genki

it seems that i have got over jl coz hes really not the one who i envisage.
in summary hes a rotten scumbag who do not deserve a gem with him
amk hub with of old bean--shopping nlunch with him
bugis-acc him to buy shades frm viv's uncle's shop
starting to get in the mood for exam..begining serious revision
received a surprise sms frm jl to the movies after exam . i reckon by the next time we met up it will be a different type of experience towards him
a purely frienship catch up n nothing more.
2 hrs of reading before i join my family for JB trip. hehehe
giving myself till 1530 to slack till abt 1730
rather a happy n jovial.. happy swinging single.
who i plan to go on short last min trip with my buddies.. getting by each day happier than ever
hahahaahahah
shall decide later if i wanna meet

facial on a sun

finally e house is empty..
did a sleepover @ viv's
her airon was shiok
finally mustered all determination to make a pathetic attempt for the accounting questions
xh's baby is out.. on 15 Apr... my bonus pay day.
clean the fan in my room , swept my room n mopped it.. feeelsclean now..
ok got to wash my face off those mask.. time to start revision

a heavy heart after attending a funeral of someone i know

so attending to a wake after class was something which was naturally quite saddening. e mood was just not right.
every dog has its day. n to tink such a strong person. n a sudden departure
just reminds me to treasure kinship more since life is so fragile
way back when i was 6 or 7 i still used to pop by my ex sister in law's place to overnite or even had reunion dinner with them since we had a rough time when my mum passed away then
its been 13yrs tis yr now since my mother left me..
thinkinh back i was still 11 n now i m 24 capable of taking care of myself on my own n contributing to the family expenses.
to tink tat senior had tots of traveling overseas n before he left . he did the housework n boiled water.. haizz life is like a game sometimes never know what will happen next

long weekend with lots of rest

its been like a 3 day break frm work n was really good
manage to sleep till like 10 or 11 on average
caught a jolin concert. visited my mum's @ mt vernon
another yr has passed.. e kids.. nephew n niece r picking up fast/
kids of the past simply cant be compared to present.
smarter. more fortunate . more access to better environment n facilities
i bet my bro's son has nt sat on a mrt / public transport for more than 5 times since hes borned
bump with my 3rd uncle n his wife n for so many yrs . now we met by chance
its a lot to give in in a family as a role as a mother n wife.. i c tat in my sister in law's role.. as for bro hes got only 2 hrs of sleep n hes got to drive ard to pray to the ancestors @ cck
n hes rewarded with a sudden small fortune as he strike 4d with his intuitive abilities.. hahaha gd for him.
my inital plan of coping on my own seems to b nt tat easy .. i cant really cook well
n i m rather dependent on my siblings rather nt in material but emotional aspect as the value of family dinner n bonding seems strong
after tis week. next week start preparation a bit scared liao

losing n gaining

To sum up 2006, i lost n gain tings which i once had. people n memories which i had.but the fact is its never the same prior to the test of time, the certain beliefs that once clung to me has modified. e inital feeings that was once touched was never the same after a couple of years later. it has got an expiry date for that. & realization struck me.like few buckets of icy water splashed to me straight to my face.
it can never b the same.
losing has made me gained stronger kinship n bond with my family n closer group of buddies.no doubt they have provided me the care that i need during the past 3 months which i had gradually picked myself up frm when i fell. e brief period with that person taught me a few learning pt.some conversation with the consultants has provided the other side of me which needs to be further improved which i will work on strongly to consciously be aware to greatly affect my interpersonal skills with certain external parties ie colleagues , superior n the upcoming ones.letting go of some good memories is never a easy task, but i have faith that i can set my mind to accomplish it.it takes a lot to do that. n to me waking this path till now has never been smooth sailing, frm my innocent adolences to the present.having times of solitude is benefical to b able to sort those confused & mixed messages running in my mind to sieve through the negative emotions & slow emerging to the usual bubbly n chirpy self.
i might have lost someting but i belive i have gained more now.
it will be a more fruitful journey ahead even without some companionship but its ok . coz it needs more of the strength n courage to face it than to hide frm it.
2007 n the upcoming 2008 . as much as i could spice up my activities n do a complete make over but testing my own limit. overiding my personal limitations n enjoying life as it comes.
by taking small steps gradually , i strongly believe it my goals can be achieved ultimately n who knows it might b e best decison made to make up for my loss.
truth stings but it never lies.
cant help but be relieved
that the twist of events can b a blessing in disguise.
0222 250307

a tough day today

a nt so gd start wtih a few diffcult customers 1203
confrontation frm a fellow colleague vs a chao keng colleague, caught in between...well tat was on a mon

tue.. farewell dinner with linda the crew1303
last min claim off,, got a earful frm lee ... n pat.. hehehe
went out on a dinner with CK... friendly person but not my type



wed.. so far so gd1403

Reminiscences

those were the days where we worry about exam, waking up early for sch. studying for finals n working on ur final yr project. i c my niece n nephews looking at their cute school bags brings back to ur school days..

today's trip to causeway pt... gives me much reminiscences of the movie together...

going to the usual shops again is a different type of experience

some tings which r over ought to be , its been almost 3 months since we broke off. i still cant bring myself to forget everyting , e tings shared n done

its like a sore feeling which cant be erased easily n it puts a fear whenever i meet new ppl

i thought i can get over him.

but it takes slower than i tink i could

appointment with e sunlight adviser

hahahahha not another trip to visit the consultant for advice in my overall luck this pig yr..

dunno wats e e outcome after her cousulation

quiet day @ the br...

with e usual interesting characters..

another hr to ko. looking forward to a nice nap

a psychiatric visit with old bean on 23/3

just had lunch with old bean.
called me up .
after visiting the clinic for mc was refered to a medical specialist for his mental health issues
got some info to seek some professional help frm behavioral clinic to seek some form of appointment to find out his source of problem to treat his clinical problems
sleepwalking in the night , nt able to sleep well n occasionally some shocking acts just put an alram,
although its rather worrying..
dunno what is wrong with the issue.
maybe some doctor advice would be good to solve rotten worm's issue n his worries

frm sleeptalking.. gradually smashing the Tv in the rm, to sleep walking n taking a knife ard in the house is certainly rather detrimental..
affects e well being as well as my safety in the house. has to keep a watch or keep my room locked so i can sleep in peace.

got to get more information frm the web to get some facts right so as to to be prepared of the various kinds of treatment to apply .

except for that pt. i guess e family is still right on track,
with me gradually bucking up each day. challenging myself.. reminding myself that i have no more time to waste.. ace thru my upcoming exams.

worm issue can only be solved if he can solve his own problems so he can be no longer a burden to old bean.

no more time to waste..

shiken...

2 more months n it will b exam
feeling e heat man
...
veri soon i have to cross the hurdles n various obstacles to reach my goals n targets
tiring but fufiling lifestyle

tough units.
scared of failure. afraid that i will have to retake , n redo. n my efforts will b wasted
tats a veri dark thought.

after visiting ravee today. she did gave mesome pointers.
like building n improving more PR whic h will aid me in my relationship with people . ie colleagues
its really a challenge, maybe being too straightforward do put me in difficult position
wat brings me after next yr. upon grad is a big question mark like back to the line of cross roads.
lately i been tinking.. really making lots of $$$ n oso achieving the interest which i like to pursue.
is it really a wise decision to leave a comfort zone . n starting frm the scratch
should i go for the swizzerland intership or stay in the comfort n familar banking environement which i have grown so accustomed..
front line indeed is exciting n true enough never boring but can get tiring n mind draining
last nite @ st james was one nite tat i cant forget coz i c the ugly side of human
corroding away in the cells of the nite entertainment
life is never tat peaceful.. each to our own path to seek