settle off the errands .. open the joint account with panda and start small saving for the joint family expenses..seen the show flats with him and went to prayer wth dad n bro 2 in long hua si to visit mum n the zu xian.. only left with 4 units.. all level 2 for punggol wave. had i rush to apply, i guess i would really regret this decision which i got to put up with at least for 5 years. better to wait than to grab a less suitable unit for my dream house.
was reading a chinese novel n one of the sentence i find it quite true.
marriage is when 2 perfect strangers meet each other and become family by law. n kinship is different from the former relationship.
when 2 ppl r strangers, they tend to be more unforgiving but when 2 become family members it becomes a different story.
so even if family members make mistakes, we tend to forgive them more easily as we are part of the family so even though we dislike some of their behavior. end of the day its the blood ties that will be morally binding.
becoz of the wife, the husband got closer with his family, they got married initially because they wanted to speculate on property, instead of renting the rooms in urban city taipei, they had to share the expenses on a house n got married in a nt so glamourous manner. cheap dinner and veri kuku wedding costume, n the husband was resentful for getting married in a last minute manner n they quarrel frequently due to $, and even adopting a dog.
The wife was veri supportive and stood by her husband although he was poor. She did not regret having a tough life with him. Since the guy was more kiddish n obsessive with branded goods, gadgets n toys. The wife had to pawn her valuables to sustain the expenses n make him happy by giving him present that she cant afford herself
when i read on the part whereby there was a note written from a father to the daughter. i was quite touched.
it describes as the father didnt wish for a rich man, person with much wealth but someone who really take cares of his daughter n loves her dearly instead.
i believe among fathers, they always lay a special place for their little gals. so if any man tries to break their hearts , ie of an unhappy marriage or so, the parents surely feel sad.
the story is about a guy who did not value his marriage and similarly like the movie click, he had the option of ctrl Z to manipulate events and change the outcome to alter his fate. After about 300 days in the marriages, the marriage turned sour and they wanted to file for divorce and end the marriage.
however each time he did so to try to change the event by trying to go back in time n events, there was butterfly effect and although he managed to change on event, there was implication and nor was it perfect.
it was quite a happy ending, as the husband realized that he had to cherish every day with his wife instead of wanting erasing unhappy events to try to change the past to beautify and make it perfect.
i guess as relationship seems as less perfect as it is, it is the flaws that you see in your partner as much as the flaws u have urself and still stick to your partner and still loves him/ her the way mutually.
settling down means joint expenses and dumping each individual 's earnings to sustain a family.
well maybe there would no longer be terms likes urs or mine. but ours instead.
expenses r part of everyday life, with better management n wiser spending habits, it can be resolved.
inflation has been so frequent, i lost track how the value of my pay has depreciated, calculating the expenses that has to be paid.
during one of the lunch , my colleague told me, yes we can plan ahead on many things, some events happen like the stock market crash, she was a renmiser n then during the recession she was axed and had to find alternatives employment.
it was tough decision, leaving a rosy familiar environment to a new alienated and challenging zone. having a kid back in home town n having only to enjoy parenthood once very few months sounds a sad thing to be.
although i might not really like the scope of work boss dump to us in this sme,the financial commitment of the education loan n for my future dream home has then mould me differently. my mindset of having a stable income and the need for stability sets in. As much i hope my revenue of income increase, i have made the decision to upgrade and at the opportunity cost i have to put up with my challenging role and demanding female bosses.h hopefully at the end of the day, i armed myself with several skill sets , and many other things that i can learn when i m in this little role i m tasked with.
this is a saturated , changing fast pace city. There are many talents laying around and in order to be differentiated and competitive, certain competencies have be present to have a advantage to still continue in this race. sadly most of us just slog our days ahead to have a roof over the head and food on the table.
not able to retire with grace and having to pay oneself.
i guess the next chapter of myself for the next 5 years is to be able to envisage a happy family, healthy being and to my best of capability to be filial and fulfill all the roles expected of me, a daughter, wife, sister in law, daughter in law , " da kong employee" , as well as possibly a mother also.
sounds like impossible but with all the support that i have, an understanding partner, boss, father, mother in law, kids, the path may not be smooth all the way but it would motivate me to strive even better to achieve the goals i want.
a home is what everyone hopes to have , a happy home u return to .
and with that , it is only after these few years, whether if there is a corporate ladder to climb. well it would be a bonus.
eventually women still need assurance from a partner to work hand in hand for a sweet little family.
although for my case or even panda's case, it is solely fated that both our parents didnt live long enough to watch us grow up.
there were many instances when i asked myself this question sometimes. what would have been different if mum was around?
new updates include. bro 2 upgrading from sengkang 's 90 sq ft 4 room to pasir ris 5 room executive flat.
bro worm 's expecting a 3rd kid. second kid from the 2nd marriage.
bro 3 remains constant. not much changes but perhaps having a nice break in his wife 's hometown w the kids n in laws.
bro worm remains a problem kid even now hes a father of 3..really for the below average income earners in Singapore, how to raise many kids with such limited supply of finance capability.
ans is to struggle to make ends meet. my bro 2 was telling me bro worms truly reflections of how better i should plan to avoid in such predicament in future.
more kids means more time n commitment to the children for better headstarts in future to carefully nurture and care n love for them n that would then sums up y u have such many kids in the first place.
to raise them nicely brought up . n in today's context if they should repay u when i get older is secondary issue, primarily parents should raise kids nicely.
my dad works hard to raise all 4 of us n then now in return we oso take good care of him although he is as usual naggy and lor soh. haha.
dad was veri emo today when bro 2 n myself were at the prayer at long hua si.
dad is still not veri positive on bro 2 upgrading, which will make himself n his wife cows for the next 20 years for extra space n premium executive flats.
i tried to help out n told dad , if i get married in future, a bigger house oso means u can rent out ur old house, stay w bro 2 n family so someone can watch out for you. n the reply well was a wry smile and he commented if he can live tat long also to have that kind of outcome.
naturally was a bit mixed feeling that my dad would have such thinking. hes old, 67 this year while i m 27. sad but true. many things can happen . who knows.
but as long as dad is still around n i m still staying with him in the old house n although he does yells in his sleep n funny funny gesticulations.
i will watch over him as long as i can.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
decide to stay home chill n relax
yes i agree, i have been hanging out a lot more outside and staying too little at home that i actually did miss auntie may 's version of soup compared to mother panda's
her is more " gelat" with many stuff inside until it becomes very rich and i dun really like rich taste.
however i must admit, its still edible although choice of preference not to my liking.
my mum n sister in law. r teochew and cantonese so the cuisine is still on the light side not so heavy. lately there are more things to be of concern than just playing around. like planning for a new house, education , career progression. things to work out on with panda as well as showing some concern for dad. he is getting old and sometimes spending some time with him will make him happy.
bro 3 is out of town n naturally bro 2 will also chip in and pick dad n me up to his place for a weekend dinner.
of coz panda oso helped me and sent me to cecil street to settle with rhb n then aft tat i went to kaplan to pay sch fee.
well, starting early in the day. acc him to nus and then today was veri warm weather n so it became a torture standing outside for too long .
had a nice nap after i reached home from the errands spent some family time with him , yeah yeah he does nags about me n worried that with my short temper, have to learn to get along n accommodating as other people 's wife n daughter in law.
have to admire how other mothers can handle so many kids n so cool.
bro worm is one of them, slogging to his new family in his nice new rented subsidized home. whereas other normal folks like us are just struggling to keep ends meet to put food on the table and get on with our lives carefully and peacefully.
mothers' job are one of the most difficult tasks on earth, can i really live up to that title.
just watching vagabonds on tv in a developed city in tokyo will then trigger and remind ourselves how fortunate we are in this little city . although the trains r getting more crowded with influx of other nationalities and many different types of people with low birth rate.
i guess we are just trying to keep pace with the current and get on with the new trend now .
there are indeed more changes in demographics as in how the family is been managed, no longer extended families but no choice as to hire domestic help, maids to cope w working mums and long working hours. life is tough but people get by.
it is this perseverance and spirit which probably push every working adult here to move on. after all it has been cultivated since young and grill in to our little minds to work for what we want.
i thought so for the more fortunate niche of people, with a silver spoon in their family, most likely they might have a different view .
perhaps they might not need to worry if there would be food on the table the next meal or how to plan their finances periodically as this was not even as issue in the first place.
perhaps myself or even amongst my closer group of peers, we might not be the elite, however we have a happy family, someone we care for and who also cares for us.
its nice to maintain this kinship . to be nurtured and maintained.
dad is getting older with age as much as he tells me about the past and how it works, like the olden days, the daughter in law wakes up early in the day n cooks for the family, perhaps now it might be the reverse for some families or some dun even adopt such practises.
as much as i dun agree, i would also try to put it in a less forceful manner compared to the past. unlike a structured mindset, i tend to give myself more grayer areas to consider by all view points. maybe its not just about winning all the time, maybe to win wont always works.
it might seem daunting to me that setting up a family , getting settled down , expense to get married and child planning may seem like the next tings to do in the next full years .
however so, its part of growing pains as to the next stage in life where parents nurture you n now morally its part of my responsibility as well.
marriage planning might be the to do list n so are the next few tasks,yup definitely a stressful period and challenge.
will just do my best n achieve it one by one with the necessary planning.
marriage is not just one person but 2 people forming a nuclear family.
bio clock is not ticking, but to me now it seems impossible , with the terms of life time commitment as a mother.
for a ex brat like me who usually breezes through for family responsibilities and tasks, its a terrifying experience thinking through it.
maybe i cant do it well alone but with help from my partner n family support. i guess it might make this transition smoother together with some errors committed along e way learning in the progress.
on hand tasks to ponder about in the short term would be to finish up kaplan and pay off rhb edu loan. find a better paying job
kick started a ideal affordable house , saving plans to settle n bla bla bla...
her is more " gelat" with many stuff inside until it becomes very rich and i dun really like rich taste.
however i must admit, its still edible although choice of preference not to my liking.
my mum n sister in law. r teochew and cantonese so the cuisine is still on the light side not so heavy. lately there are more things to be of concern than just playing around. like planning for a new house, education , career progression. things to work out on with panda as well as showing some concern for dad. he is getting old and sometimes spending some time with him will make him happy.
bro 3 is out of town n naturally bro 2 will also chip in and pick dad n me up to his place for a weekend dinner.
of coz panda oso helped me and sent me to cecil street to settle with rhb n then aft tat i went to kaplan to pay sch fee.
well, starting early in the day. acc him to nus and then today was veri warm weather n so it became a torture standing outside for too long .
had a nice nap after i reached home from the errands spent some family time with him , yeah yeah he does nags about me n worried that with my short temper, have to learn to get along n accommodating as other people 's wife n daughter in law.
have to admire how other mothers can handle so many kids n so cool.
bro worm is one of them, slogging to his new family in his nice new rented subsidized home. whereas other normal folks like us are just struggling to keep ends meet to put food on the table and get on with our lives carefully and peacefully.
mothers' job are one of the most difficult tasks on earth, can i really live up to that title.
just watching vagabonds on tv in a developed city in tokyo will then trigger and remind ourselves how fortunate we are in this little city . although the trains r getting more crowded with influx of other nationalities and many different types of people with low birth rate.
i guess we are just trying to keep pace with the current and get on with the new trend now .
there are indeed more changes in demographics as in how the family is been managed, no longer extended families but no choice as to hire domestic help, maids to cope w working mums and long working hours. life is tough but people get by.
it is this perseverance and spirit which probably push every working adult here to move on. after all it has been cultivated since young and grill in to our little minds to work for what we want.
i thought so for the more fortunate niche of people, with a silver spoon in their family, most likely they might have a different view .
perhaps they might not need to worry if there would be food on the table the next meal or how to plan their finances periodically as this was not even as issue in the first place.
perhaps myself or even amongst my closer group of peers, we might not be the elite, however we have a happy family, someone we care for and who also cares for us.
its nice to maintain this kinship . to be nurtured and maintained.
dad is getting older with age as much as he tells me about the past and how it works, like the olden days, the daughter in law wakes up early in the day n cooks for the family, perhaps now it might be the reverse for some families or some dun even adopt such practises.
as much as i dun agree, i would also try to put it in a less forceful manner compared to the past. unlike a structured mindset, i tend to give myself more grayer areas to consider by all view points. maybe its not just about winning all the time, maybe to win wont always works.
it might seem daunting to me that setting up a family , getting settled down , expense to get married and child planning may seem like the next tings to do in the next full years .
however so, its part of growing pains as to the next stage in life where parents nurture you n now morally its part of my responsibility as well.
marriage planning might be the to do list n so are the next few tasks,yup definitely a stressful period and challenge.
will just do my best n achieve it one by one with the necessary planning.
marriage is not just one person but 2 people forming a nuclear family.
bio clock is not ticking, but to me now it seems impossible , with the terms of life time commitment as a mother.
for a ex brat like me who usually breezes through for family responsibilities and tasks, its a terrifying experience thinking through it.
maybe i cant do it well alone but with help from my partner n family support. i guess it might make this transition smoother together with some errors committed along e way learning in the progress.
on hand tasks to ponder about in the short term would be to finish up kaplan and pay off rhb edu loan. find a better paying job
kick started a ideal affordable house , saving plans to settle n bla bla bla...
Saturday, September 11, 2010
nice n cheap teo heng ktv and yum cha with chen mey & joey
its good to get sorted out. $10 for 2 hrs of ktv @ teo heng. not veri shiok but at least it brings some laughter after a stressful week at work
today i decided not to hang out @ panda 's place. dad is getting bored and grouchy that i was not at home to accompany him. indeed my bro 's kids r having enrichment classes n naturally getting bored.
my throat is a little sore now. n we bought in some snacks from giant. kindo bueno chocolate. chips. fruit juice and some munchies.
based on us together. i believe panda is someone i can rely on and be there for my ups n downs.
thinking of the occasion i got so sickly and he was the one who brought n acc me to the clinic while i concuss on his bed.
we had a lot of good n nice food during this period of courtship and he cooked nice things n i make a good fren wang wang..
i remember there was once i got scolded by my boss badly and his family waited for me to have dinner
n they knew i cried before i went to his place n they were understanding enough not to ask me about work,
instances i remember ..had explained that some memories are left better untouched and we will always be good friends.
another 8 days.. quite looking forward to it although it will make both of us beri poor.
this is part of growing up n marriage .. so much as i m afraid of the responsibilities involved .it is also a life journey on the good n bad times in everyday 's event
today i decided not to hang out @ panda 's place. dad is getting bored and grouchy that i was not at home to accompany him. indeed my bro 's kids r having enrichment classes n naturally getting bored.
my throat is a little sore now. n we bought in some snacks from giant. kindo bueno chocolate. chips. fruit juice and some munchies.
based on us together. i believe panda is someone i can rely on and be there for my ups n downs.
thinking of the occasion i got so sickly and he was the one who brought n acc me to the clinic while i concuss on his bed.
we had a lot of good n nice food during this period of courtship and he cooked nice things n i make a good fren wang wang..
i remember there was once i got scolded by my boss badly and his family waited for me to have dinner
n they knew i cried before i went to his place n they were understanding enough not to ask me about work,
instances i remember ..had explained that some memories are left better untouched and we will always be good friends.
another 8 days.. quite looking forward to it although it will make both of us beri poor.
this is part of growing up n marriage .. so much as i m afraid of the responsibilities involved .it is also a life journey on the good n bad times in everyday 's event
after a long week nite.. the feelings of having to work on a saturday during a long weekend sucks.
it would be the last time i help being a good person.
could have just slack at home n sleep more or watch xiao ding dang with panda.
it is a blessing in disguise, this whole episode and i want who and what i want eventually. some memories are meant just to stay there and be happy.
and i think i just cant anyhow and find someone who will be replacable.
eventually we went for the yum cha session and then i play dumb so I do not have to counter certain questions posed to me.
with my iq n eq callibre, it is not a right move for me to get all high fired up and negative with his family who could potentially be my family in future.
somehow the mindset should be modified a bit if not it would make my life so much more difficult and bitter.
by not taking too much n always giving , to strike a balance.
of panda definitely freaked out and grumbled that i was not being "loyal" enough.
but i m pretty sure now its just friends between ed & me.
faced with so much uncertainties and vulnerablities and changes, it might not be worth it to risk it all over for a trill fun like viking than a walk in the garden.
some things are left unsaid, untouched to preserve the most beautiful part of it .
所谓：珍惜眼前人
浣溪沙 ·晏殊
一向年光有限身，等闲离别易销魂。酒筵歌席莫辞频。
满目山河空念远，落花风雨更伤春。不如怜取眼前人。
学会珍惜眼前人
时间:2009-07-19 21:11来源:本站原创 作者: 雨后阳光点击:11740次
【编者按】爱情需要保鲜，婚姻亦然，激情过后的平淡，总容易让人产生错觉，以为最美的已经离我们远去。于是，我们也总以为可以得到更好的，却不知，若是错过，将是无比遗憾，那么，不如就让我们惜取眼前花，珍惜眼前人吧!
突然间发现世事真的很无常，看到身边的一部分亲人和朋友，曾经也是爱得死去活来的，而如今却劳燕分飞了。
他们之所以分开，难道真的都是因为彼此没有感情？或是彼此性格不合吗？
爱情这东西真的不好说，刚开始爱一个人的时候，或许对方的缺点，在你眼里也会变成优点，因为爱，你会包容，会接受对方的一切，也因为爱，你不管看对方什么都觉得是那么的顺眼，甚至百看不厌，我想“情人眼里出西施”大概就是这个意思。
但是慢慢的，两个人在一起的时间长了，彼此的了解也在加深，你也许开始感觉对方的缺点越来越多，也越来越严重，你甚至觉得，你已经开始无法容忍对方的那些不是问题的问题，和那微不足道的缺点，你也不想再包容了。于是，你们之间的问题、矛盾也在不断的出现，你也许开始会感觉烦、累，甚至想逃避。
其实爱情就像是捡石头，如果你一直想要捡到一个适合自己的石头，并非那么容易，茫茫人海中，你又怎能知道哪一个石头适合你？你又怎么知道你何时才能捡到那个合适你的石头呢？就算他适合你，而你又适合他吗？其实，与其这样盲目的寻找，还不如将你已捡到的这个石头进行打磨，或许刚捡到的时候不是那么如意，要知道人是有弹性的，只要你有信心，只要你有勇气，同样可以把这个本来不太令你满意的石头，打磨得光亮无比。
现实生活中也有着一些这样的例子：离婚后又复婚的。那是因为他们长期在一起，没有激情可言了，总以为除了身边的那个人外，还可以继续去寻找一份令人向往的激情，等到真正的找到的时候，真正在一起生活的时候，你同样要面对现实生活中的一些琐事，时间长了，爱情还是会褪色的，同样会变得激情不再的。
前段时间放了电视剧《马文的战争》，我想看了这个电视剧的人，一定有不少感想吧？我个人认为离婚后的人，好像无论跟谁在一起生活都会感觉累。不是吗？剧中的那些人虽然重新组合了家庭，但还是会同床异梦，还是觉得最开始在一起的才是真正适合自己的，到了后来不还是与原配的破镜重圆了。
其实在很多时候，婚姻的变质，感情变淡的原因都是人为的，是身在围城中的人变得懒惰了，懒得去倾诉，懒得去倾听，也懒得去制造气氛。不要忘了婚姻同样需要我们用心的去经营，适时的殷勤灌溉，会令婚后的生活同样增添色彩的。
有相当一部分人，大概到了婚后疲惫期了，对自己的婚姻开始厌倦了，而对婚外情总是乐此不疲，吃着碗里还想着锅里，甚至总想家里红旗不倒，外面彩旗飘飘，在他们看来，在目前这个物欲横流的社会中，拥有情人是一种时尚，甚至还可以理直气壮。当然，出轨并非男人的专利，也正是有了这样的一些女人，才会让那些贪心的男人有机可乘。
静下心来想想，在你生病的时候，最需要关心的时候，又有谁在你的身边呢？真正与自己共患难的又是谁呢？那些短暂的激情，那些不堪一击的爱情，随时会烟消云散的。
身边的那个人或许不是最优秀的，也有可能不是你的最佳搭档，但是，爱是一种责任，不是感觉，婚姻也不是儿戏，既然走到一起，也是一种缘份，还是学会珍惜眼前人吧！
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珍惜眼前人
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深夜，寺里一人一佛，佛坐人站。
人：圣明的佛，我是一个已婚之人，我现在狂热地爱上了另一个女人，我真的不知道该怎么办。
佛：你能确切你现在爱上的这个女人就是你生命里唯一的最后一个女人吗？
人：是的。
佛：你离婚，然后娶她。
人：可是我现在的爱人温柔，善良，贤惠，我这样做是否有一点残忍，有一点不道德。
佛：在婚姻中没有爱才是残忍和不道德的，你现在爱上了别人已不爱她了，你这样做是正确的。
人：可是我爱人很爱我，真的很爱我。
佛：那她就是幸福的。
人：我要与她离婚后另娶她人，她应该是很痛苦的又怎么会是幸福的呢？
佛：在婚姻里她还拥有她对你的爱，而你在婚姻中已失去对她的爱，因为你爱上了别人，正谓拥有的就是幸福的，失去的才是痛苦的，所以痛苦的人是你。
人：可是我要和她离婚后另娶她人，应该是她失去了我，她应该才是痛苦的。
佛：你错了，你只是她婚姻中真爱的一个具体，当你这个具体不存在的时候，她的真爱会延续到另一个具体，因为她在婚姻中的真爱从没有失去过。所以她才是幸福的而你才是痛苦的。
人：她说过今生只爱我一个，她不会爱上别人的。
佛：这样的话你也说过吗？
人：我。我。。我。。。
佛：你现在看你面前香炉里的三根蜡烛，那根最亮。
人：我真的不知道，好象都是一样的亮。
佛：这三根蜡烛就好比是三个女人，其中一根就是你现在所爱的那个女人，芸芸众生，女人何止千百万万，你连这三根蜡烛那根最亮都不知道，都不能把你现在爱的人找出来，你为什么又能确定你现在爱的这个女人就是你生命里唯一的最后一个女人呢？
人：我。我。。我。。。
佛：你现在拿一根蜡烛放在你的眼前，用心看看那根最亮 ？
人：当然是眼前的这根最亮。
佛：你现在把它放回原处，再看看那根最亮
人：我真的还是看不出那根最亮。
佛：其实你刚拿的那根蜡烛就是好比是你现在爱的那个最后的女人，所谓爱由心生，当你感觉你爱她时，你用心去看就觉的它最亮，当你把它放回原处，你却找不到最亮的一点感觉，你这种所谓的最后的唯一的爱只是镜花水月，到头来终究是一场空。
人：哦，我懂了，你并不是要我与我的爱人离婚，你是在点化我，
佛：看破不说破，你去吧
人：我现在真的知道我爱的是谁了，她就是我现在的爱人。
佛：阿弥陀佛，阿弥陀佛
你我曾经深爱过的某人，无非也就是芸芸众生中的一个，只是爱由心生，自以为他、她会是今生最爱，当你感觉你爱她，你用心去爱就觉的他、她最珍贵，当万物归原，生命仍然继续，他、她无非也就是我们生命中的一个过客。
我们根本无法确定哪一个才是今生最爱，如果不懂得去珍惜，你身边这个爱你的、你爱的人，在某一天，也会成为你身边的过客。
找一个你爱的人不容易，找一个爱你的人也不容易。如果无法确定哪一个才是你最爱的人，何不在自己成为别人的爱人的时候珍惜这份感情？爱由心生，你告诉自己是爱他、她的，自然就可以爱上他、她。
如果你爱的人不爱你，也请记得：爱由心生。是你太过于把目光集中在他、她身上了，试着放开视线焦点，你会发现光亮的蜡烛到处都有。
爱与不爱，无非也就是在一念之间。
过去的事情过去的爱情，就让它过去吧，那只是我们生命的一部分，只是茫茫大海中的一滴水珠，只是漫漫苍弩中的一粒微尘。没有那些过去，也不会造就现在的你我。
珍惜当前，永远胜于三心二意。
茫茫人海如果可以找到一个自己心仪的，互相真爱的人，不容易，也是多么大的荣幸，也许事事不是你想的那样，没有如此完美，或许没有你想象那么好，应该也不会糟糕到哪里去，生活本来没有那么美好，所有幸福都要知福惜福好好珍惜，多说关怀话，少说责备话，人与人之间是需要互相体谅。爱人也同样。
如果你懂得珍惜，你会发现你获得的越来越多，如果你一昧去追求，一昧的向前，为了自己的追求，不顾一切，给自己太多的压力，不去注重珍惜，你会发现你失去的越来越快越来越多。
因为：人生没有绝对的完美，而且永远是有缺憾的；人有缺憾 不是一种悲哀，悲哀的是为了掩饰缺憾；而错失人生中的美丽风景，人的世界本来就有诸多的缺憾；不完美才是完美、太完美了就是缺陷。缺憾有时也是一种美丽！
爱情，合适就好。不要委屈将就，只要随意，彼此之间
不要太大压力，也不要相信完美的爱情。其实，你只要知道，人无完人，每个人都会有缺点，一种纯朴的可爱就足够了，一种生活的真实就可以了。
作为女孩子都喜欢浪漫，都喜欢爱情美满，虽可以浪漫，但不要浪费；可以随时牵手，但不要随便分手。每一个人都期待着一份至死不渝的感情。
得不到的东西永远总是最好的，失去的恋情总是让人难忘的，失去的人永远是刻骨铭心的，珍惜或放弃，都是我们生命中必经的过程，也是我们生活的一种经历。做好自己，不要为了讨好别人改变自己，当然，也不要为了某些因素，固执不通。
爱情不是等你有空才去珍惜，我们相遇，是缘份，为了这个缘份，我们可能都在努力去适应对方，一切只想顺其自然。
生活应该放松，别给自己太多压力，什么的心态会给予什么样的生活。不管你再怎么相信缘份，请你不要在爱情失去后，才想到要去珍惜，爱情不是等你有空才想到去联系去挽回的。
珍惜眼前人
上一篇 / 下一篇 2006-08-17 12:22:21 / 天气: 晴朗 / 心情: 高兴 / 精华(3)
查看( 1265 ) / 评论( 0 ) / 评分( 5 / 0 )
深夜，寺里一人一佛，佛坐人站。
人：圣明的佛，我是一个已婚之人，我现在狂热地爱上了另一个女人，我真的不知道该怎么办。
佛：你能确切你现在爱上的这个女人就是你生命里唯一的最后一个女人吗？
人：是的。
佛：你离婚，然后娶她。
人：可是我现在的爱人温柔，善良，贤惠，我这样做是否有一点残忍，有一点不道德。
佛：在婚姻中没有爱才是残忍和不道德的，你现在爱上了别人已不爱她了，你这样做是正确的。
人：可是我爱人很爱我，真的很爱我。
佛：那她就是幸福的。
人：我要与她离婚后另娶她人，她应该是很痛苦的又怎么会是幸福的呢？
佛：在婚姻里她还拥有她对你的爱，而你在婚姻中已失去对她的爱，因为你爱上了别人，正谓拥有的就是幸福的，失去的才是痛苦的，所以痛苦的人是你。
人：可是我要和她离婚后另娶她人，应该是她失去了我，她应该才是痛苦的。
佛：你错了，你只是她婚姻中真爱的一个具体，当你这个具体不存在的时候，她的真爱会延续到另一个具体，因为她在婚姻中的真爱从没有失去过。所以她才是幸福的而你才是痛苦的。
人：她说过今生只爱我一个，她不会爱上别人的。
佛：这样的话你也说过吗？
人：我。我。。我。。。
佛：你现在看你面前香炉里的三根蜡烛，那根最亮。
人：我真的不知道，好象都是一样的亮。
佛：这三根蜡烛就好比是三个女人，其中一根就是你现在所爱的那个女人，芸芸众生，女人何止千百万万，你连这三根蜡烛那根最亮都不知道，都不能把你现在爱的人找出来，你为什么又能确定你现在爱的这个女人就是你生命里唯一的最后一个女人呢？
人：我。我。。我。。。
佛：你现在拿一根蜡烛放在你的眼前，用心看看那根最亮 ？
人：当然是眼前的这根最亮。
佛：你现在把它放回原处，再看看那根最亮
人：我真的还是看不出那根最亮。
佛：其实你刚拿的那根蜡烛就是好比是你现在爱的那个最后的女人，所谓爱由心生，当你感觉你爱她时，你用心去看就觉的它最亮，当你把它放回原处，你却找不到最亮的一点感觉，你这种所谓的最后的唯一的爱只是镜花水月，到头来终究是一场空。
人：哦，我懂了，你并不是要我与我的爱人离婚，你是在点化我，
佛：看破不说破，你去吧
人：我现在真的知道我爱的是谁了，她就是我现在的爱人。
佛：阿弥陀佛，阿弥陀佛
你我曾经深爱过的某人，无非也就是芸芸众生中的一个，只是爱由心生，自以为他、她会是今生最爱，当你感觉你爱她，你用心去爱就觉的他、她最珍贵，当万物归原，生命仍然继续，他、她无非也就是我们生命中的一个过客。
我们根本无法确定哪一个才是今生最爱，如果不懂得去珍惜，你身边这个爱你的、你爱的人，在某一天，也会成为你身边的过客。
找一个你爱的人不容易，找一个爱你的人也不容易。如果无法确定哪一个才是你最爱的人，何不在自己成为别人的爱人的时候珍惜这份感情？爱由心生，你告诉自己是爱他、她的，自然就可以爱上他、她。
如果你爱的人不爱你，也请记得：爱由心生。是你太过于把目光集中在他、她身上了，试着放开视线焦点，你会发现光亮的蜡烛到处都有。
爱与不爱，无非也就是在一念之间。
过去的事情过去的爱情，就让它过去吧，那只是我们生命的一部分，只是茫茫大海中的一滴水珠，只是漫漫苍弩中的一粒微尘。没有那些过去，也不会造就现在的你我。
珍惜当前，永远胜于三心二意。
每个人的生命里，都会遇到不少人，各种性格，各种不同的人，有几个是你的知音呢？又有几个是深爱自己的人？又有几个是你深爱的呢？与其众里寻他千百回，不如 珍惜、疼爱眼前人！
could have just slack at home n sleep more or watch xiao ding dang with panda.
it is a blessing in disguise, this whole episode and i want who and what i want eventually. some memories are meant just to stay there and be happy.
and i think i just cant anyhow and find someone who will be replacable.
eventually we went for the yum cha session and then i play dumb so I do not have to counter certain questions posed to me.
with my iq n eq callibre, it is not a right move for me to get all high fired up and negative with his family who could potentially be my family in future.
somehow the mindset should be modified a bit if not it would make my life so much more difficult and bitter.
by not taking too much n always giving , to strike a balance.
of panda definitely freaked out and grumbled that i was not being "loyal" enough.
but i m pretty sure now its just friends between ed & me.
faced with so much uncertainties and vulnerablities and changes, it might not be worth it to risk it all over for a trill fun like viking than a walk in the garden.
some things are left unsaid, untouched to preserve the most beautiful part of it .
所谓：珍惜眼前人
浣溪沙 ·晏殊
一向年光有限身，等闲离别易销魂。酒筵歌席莫辞频。
满目山河空念远，落花风雨更伤春。不如怜取眼前人。
学会珍惜眼前人
时间:2009-07-19 21:11来源:本站原创 作者: 雨后阳光点击:11740次
【编者按】爱情需要保鲜，婚姻亦然，激情过后的平淡，总容易让人产生错觉，以为最美的已经离我们远去。于是，我们也总以为可以得到更好的，却不知，若是错过，将是无比遗憾，那么，不如就让我们惜取眼前花，珍惜眼前人吧!
突然间发现世事真的很无常，看到身边的一部分亲人和朋友，曾经也是爱得死去活来的，而如今却劳燕分飞了。
他们之所以分开，难道真的都是因为彼此没有感情？或是彼此性格不合吗？
爱情这东西真的不好说，刚开始爱一个人的时候，或许对方的缺点，在你眼里也会变成优点，因为爱，你会包容，会接受对方的一切，也因为爱，你不管看对方什么都觉得是那么的顺眼，甚至百看不厌，我想“情人眼里出西施”大概就是这个意思。
但是慢慢的，两个人在一起的时间长了，彼此的了解也在加深，你也许开始感觉对方的缺点越来越多，也越来越严重，你甚至觉得，你已经开始无法容忍对方的那些不是问题的问题，和那微不足道的缺点，你也不想再包容了。于是，你们之间的问题、矛盾也在不断的出现，你也许开始会感觉烦、累，甚至想逃避。
其实爱情就像是捡石头，如果你一直想要捡到一个适合自己的石头，并非那么容易，茫茫人海中，你又怎能知道哪一个石头适合你？你又怎么知道你何时才能捡到那个合适你的石头呢？就算他适合你，而你又适合他吗？其实，与其这样盲目的寻找，还不如将你已捡到的这个石头进行打磨，或许刚捡到的时候不是那么如意，要知道人是有弹性的，只要你有信心，只要你有勇气，同样可以把这个本来不太令你满意的石头，打磨得光亮无比。
现实生活中也有着一些这样的例子：离婚后又复婚的。那是因为他们长期在一起，没有激情可言了，总以为除了身边的那个人外，还可以继续去寻找一份令人向往的激情，等到真正的找到的时候，真正在一起生活的时候，你同样要面对现实生活中的一些琐事，时间长了，爱情还是会褪色的，同样会变得激情不再的。
前段时间放了电视剧《马文的战争》，我想看了这个电视剧的人，一定有不少感想吧？我个人认为离婚后的人，好像无论跟谁在一起生活都会感觉累。不是吗？剧中的那些人虽然重新组合了家庭，但还是会同床异梦，还是觉得最开始在一起的才是真正适合自己的，到了后来不还是与原配的破镜重圆了。
其实在很多时候，婚姻的变质，感情变淡的原因都是人为的，是身在围城中的人变得懒惰了，懒得去倾诉，懒得去倾听，也懒得去制造气氛。不要忘了婚姻同样需要我们用心的去经营，适时的殷勤灌溉，会令婚后的生活同样增添色彩的。
有相当一部分人，大概到了婚后疲惫期了，对自己的婚姻开始厌倦了，而对婚外情总是乐此不疲，吃着碗里还想着锅里，甚至总想家里红旗不倒，外面彩旗飘飘，在他们看来，在目前这个物欲横流的社会中，拥有情人是一种时尚，甚至还可以理直气壮。当然，出轨并非男人的专利，也正是有了这样的一些女人，才会让那些贪心的男人有机可乘。
静下心来想想，在你生病的时候，最需要关心的时候，又有谁在你的身边呢？真正与自己共患难的又是谁呢？那些短暂的激情，那些不堪一击的爱情，随时会烟消云散的。
身边的那个人或许不是最优秀的，也有可能不是你的最佳搭档，但是，爱是一种责任，不是感觉，婚姻也不是儿戏，既然走到一起，也是一种缘份，还是学会珍惜眼前人吧！
责任编辑：叶子
散文在线(www.sanwenzx.com)首发网址：http://www.sanwenzx.com/zawen/mantan/2009/5113.html
珍惜眼前人
上一篇 / 下一篇 2006-08-17 12:22:21 / 天气: 晴朗 / 心情: 高兴 / 精华(3)
查看( 1265 ) / 评论( 0 ) / 评分( 5 / 0 )
深夜，寺里一人一佛，佛坐人站。
人：圣明的佛，我是一个已婚之人，我现在狂热地爱上了另一个女人，我真的不知道该怎么办。
佛：你能确切你现在爱上的这个女人就是你生命里唯一的最后一个女人吗？
人：是的。
佛：你离婚，然后娶她。
人：可是我现在的爱人温柔，善良，贤惠，我这样做是否有一点残忍，有一点不道德。
佛：在婚姻中没有爱才是残忍和不道德的，你现在爱上了别人已不爱她了，你这样做是正确的。
人：可是我爱人很爱我，真的很爱我。
佛：那她就是幸福的。
人：我要与她离婚后另娶她人，她应该是很痛苦的又怎么会是幸福的呢？
佛：在婚姻里她还拥有她对你的爱，而你在婚姻中已失去对她的爱，因为你爱上了别人，正谓拥有的就是幸福的，失去的才是痛苦的，所以痛苦的人是你。
人：可是我要和她离婚后另娶她人，应该是她失去了我，她应该才是痛苦的。
佛：你错了，你只是她婚姻中真爱的一个具体，当你这个具体不存在的时候，她的真爱会延续到另一个具体，因为她在婚姻中的真爱从没有失去过。所以她才是幸福的而你才是痛苦的。
人：她说过今生只爱我一个，她不会爱上别人的。
佛：这样的话你也说过吗？
人：我。我。。我。。。
佛：你现在看你面前香炉里的三根蜡烛，那根最亮。
人：我真的不知道，好象都是一样的亮。
佛：这三根蜡烛就好比是三个女人，其中一根就是你现在所爱的那个女人，芸芸众生，女人何止千百万万，你连这三根蜡烛那根最亮都不知道，都不能把你现在爱的人找出来，你为什么又能确定你现在爱的这个女人就是你生命里唯一的最后一个女人呢？
人：我。我。。我。。。
佛：你现在拿一根蜡烛放在你的眼前，用心看看那根最亮 ？
人：当然是眼前的这根最亮。
佛：你现在把它放回原处，再看看那根最亮
人：我真的还是看不出那根最亮。
佛：其实你刚拿的那根蜡烛就是好比是你现在爱的那个最后的女人，所谓爱由心生，当你感觉你爱她时，你用心去看就觉的它最亮，当你把它放回原处，你却找不到最亮的一点感觉，你这种所谓的最后的唯一的爱只是镜花水月，到头来终究是一场空。
人：哦，我懂了，你并不是要我与我的爱人离婚，你是在点化我，
佛：看破不说破，你去吧
人：我现在真的知道我爱的是谁了，她就是我现在的爱人。
佛：阿弥陀佛，阿弥陀佛
你我曾经深爱过的某人，无非也就是芸芸众生中的一个，只是爱由心生，自以为他、她会是今生最爱，当你感觉你爱她，你用心去爱就觉的他、她最珍贵，当万物归原，生命仍然继续，他、她无非也就是我们生命中的一个过客。
我们根本无法确定哪一个才是今生最爱，如果不懂得去珍惜，你身边这个爱你的、你爱的人，在某一天，也会成为你身边的过客。
找一个你爱的人不容易，找一个爱你的人也不容易。如果无法确定哪一个才是你最爱的人，何不在自己成为别人的爱人的时候珍惜这份感情？爱由心生，你告诉自己是爱他、她的，自然就可以爱上他、她。
如果你爱的人不爱你，也请记得：爱由心生。是你太过于把目光集中在他、她身上了，试着放开视线焦点，你会发现光亮的蜡烛到处都有。
爱与不爱，无非也就是在一念之间。
过去的事情过去的爱情，就让它过去吧，那只是我们生命的一部分，只是茫茫大海中的一滴水珠，只是漫漫苍弩中的一粒微尘。没有那些过去，也不会造就现在的你我。
珍惜当前，永远胜于三心二意。
茫茫人海如果可以找到一个自己心仪的，互相真爱的人，不容易，也是多么大的荣幸，也许事事不是你想的那样，没有如此完美，或许没有你想象那么好，应该也不会糟糕到哪里去，生活本来没有那么美好，所有幸福都要知福惜福好好珍惜，多说关怀话，少说责备话，人与人之间是需要互相体谅。爱人也同样。
如果你懂得珍惜，你会发现你获得的越来越多，如果你一昧去追求，一昧的向前，为了自己的追求，不顾一切，给自己太多的压力，不去注重珍惜，你会发现你失去的越来越快越来越多。
因为：人生没有绝对的完美，而且永远是有缺憾的；人有缺憾 不是一种悲哀，悲哀的是为了掩饰缺憾；而错失人生中的美丽风景，人的世界本来就有诸多的缺憾；不完美才是完美、太完美了就是缺陷。缺憾有时也是一种美丽！
爱情，合适就好。不要委屈将就，只要随意，彼此之间
不要太大压力，也不要相信完美的爱情。其实，你只要知道，人无完人，每个人都会有缺点，一种纯朴的可爱就足够了，一种生活的真实就可以了。
作为女孩子都喜欢浪漫，都喜欢爱情美满，虽可以浪漫，但不要浪费；可以随时牵手，但不要随便分手。每一个人都期待着一份至死不渝的感情。
得不到的东西永远总是最好的，失去的恋情总是让人难忘的，失去的人永远是刻骨铭心的，珍惜或放弃，都是我们生命中必经的过程，也是我们生活的一种经历。做好自己，不要为了讨好别人改变自己，当然，也不要为了某些因素，固执不通。
爱情不是等你有空才去珍惜，我们相遇，是缘份，为了这个缘份，我们可能都在努力去适应对方，一切只想顺其自然。
生活应该放松，别给自己太多压力，什么的心态会给予什么样的生活。不管你再怎么相信缘份，请你不要在爱情失去后，才想到要去珍惜，爱情不是等你有空才想到去联系去挽回的。
珍惜眼前人
上一篇 / 下一篇 2006-08-17 12:22:21 / 天气: 晴朗 / 心情: 高兴 / 精华(3)
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深夜，寺里一人一佛，佛坐人站。
人：圣明的佛，我是一个已婚之人，我现在狂热地爱上了另一个女人，我真的不知道该怎么办。
佛：你能确切你现在爱上的这个女人就是你生命里唯一的最后一个女人吗？
人：是的。
佛：你离婚，然后娶她。
人：可是我现在的爱人温柔，善良，贤惠，我这样做是否有一点残忍，有一点不道德。
佛：在婚姻中没有爱才是残忍和不道德的，你现在爱上了别人已不爱她了，你这样做是正确的。
人：可是我爱人很爱我，真的很爱我。
佛：那她就是幸福的。
人：我要与她离婚后另娶她人，她应该是很痛苦的又怎么会是幸福的呢？
佛：在婚姻里她还拥有她对你的爱，而你在婚姻中已失去对她的爱，因为你爱上了别人，正谓拥有的就是幸福的，失去的才是痛苦的，所以痛苦的人是你。
人：可是我要和她离婚后另娶她人，应该是她失去了我，她应该才是痛苦的。
佛：你错了，你只是她婚姻中真爱的一个具体，当你这个具体不存在的时候，她的真爱会延续到另一个具体，因为她在婚姻中的真爱从没有失去过。所以她才是幸福的而你才是痛苦的。
人：她说过今生只爱我一个，她不会爱上别人的。
佛：这样的话你也说过吗？
人：我。我。。我。。。
佛：你现在看你面前香炉里的三根蜡烛，那根最亮。
人：我真的不知道，好象都是一样的亮。
佛：这三根蜡烛就好比是三个女人，其中一根就是你现在所爱的那个女人，芸芸众生，女人何止千百万万，你连这三根蜡烛那根最亮都不知道，都不能把你现在爱的人找出来，你为什么又能确定你现在爱的这个女人就是你生命里唯一的最后一个女人呢？
人：我。我。。我。。。
佛：你现在拿一根蜡烛放在你的眼前，用心看看那根最亮 ？
人：当然是眼前的这根最亮。
佛：你现在把它放回原处，再看看那根最亮
人：我真的还是看不出那根最亮。
佛：其实你刚拿的那根蜡烛就是好比是你现在爱的那个最后的女人，所谓爱由心生，当你感觉你爱她时，你用心去看就觉的它最亮，当你把它放回原处，你却找不到最亮的一点感觉，你这种所谓的最后的唯一的爱只是镜花水月，到头来终究是一场空。
人：哦，我懂了，你并不是要我与我的爱人离婚，你是在点化我，
佛：看破不说破，你去吧
人：我现在真的知道我爱的是谁了，她就是我现在的爱人。
佛：阿弥陀佛，阿弥陀佛
你我曾经深爱过的某人，无非也就是芸芸众生中的一个，只是爱由心生，自以为他、她会是今生最爱，当你感觉你爱她，你用心去爱就觉的他、她最珍贵，当万物归原，生命仍然继续，他、她无非也就是我们生命中的一个过客。
我们根本无法确定哪一个才是今生最爱，如果不懂得去珍惜，你身边这个爱你的、你爱的人，在某一天，也会成为你身边的过客。
找一个你爱的人不容易，找一个爱你的人也不容易。如果无法确定哪一个才是你最爱的人，何不在自己成为别人的爱人的时候珍惜这份感情？爱由心生，你告诉自己是爱他、她的，自然就可以爱上他、她。
如果你爱的人不爱你，也请记得：爱由心生。是你太过于把目光集中在他、她身上了，试着放开视线焦点，你会发现光亮的蜡烛到处都有。
爱与不爱，无非也就是在一念之间。
过去的事情过去的爱情，就让它过去吧，那只是我们生命的一部分，只是茫茫大海中的一滴水珠，只是漫漫苍弩中的一粒微尘。没有那些过去，也不会造就现在的你我。
珍惜当前，永远胜于三心二意。
每个人的生命里，都会遇到不少人，各种性格，各种不同的人，有几个是你的知音呢？又有几个是深爱自己的人？又有几个是你深爱的呢？与其众里寻他千百回，不如 珍惜、疼爱眼前人！
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
thinking back these quiet moments at nite
it reads 10.56pm on a Tuesday night. i m happy yes its a short working week, on the other hand i m bogged down by the endless tasks and follow ups to be done.
tomorrow i m giving training and the core product which is local credit report and overseas report, i seem to have make a blunder on my previous presentation on my own. however not a fatal mistake
the day started with a system error with the emails flooding in errors to rectify, duplicate purchase to make decision whether to waive or charge the customers.
Being the back up, the main has to go on urgent compassionate leave due to the passing of the elderly.
naturally the work load falls on the remaining 7 of us. one of them is new. whereas manager is not around.
one is on mc . effectively remains 5 of us. 1 one is new and then 4 however out of 4 , 3 in tending the helpdesk coz the other one shuns away from the responsibilities.
Jolly well settle the initial messy part, and tomorrow hope i can wave through the training session. settle all those correspondences and complete the task for the day n able to submit the weekly report by Thursday evening.
i m dreading the day when the hidden agenda comes. In this era women tend to be more aware of their interests, pros n cons in certain decision.
when the times comes. i believe i will make the correct n wise decision of all the possible alternatives and to my best advantage
life is never fair in the game. some times i may lose a little but i might gain some in return.
being the kind one maybe sometimes dun pay, but i will just contribute my fair share.
thinking of fri nite is suicidal becoz on sat morning i got to work for 3.5 hours. hahahah becoz i offer to swop shift over a long weekend. how many long weekend is there for one calendar year afterall. sob sob.
my efforts have been recognised and acquisition of new accounts. signs up and upgrades comes as a breeze as i m in a better position to converse with certain challenging clients and request.
ultimately i hope to achieve to be more meticulous and detailed in my work, my own personal well being. be a effective communicator and team player as i have too many diverse people in the team. people who love to boss around, people who are short tempered. sly, cunning as well as people who are helpful and warm.
i guess it does sums up whats about the team.
realistically we cant have the same type of people of the same nature. naturally people who are accommodating like me tend to be ripped off and exploited but what matters to me is i learn.
i take things as they come and not take no for answer. i choose to pursue the latter of why not. n probably saying less no to myself can have a more positive outcome and a more desirable effect as i gradually learn all the tricks to survive in sme. n after that i m well really polished and well trained for more challenges ahead.
n with a paper well chucked in my file, as well as a decent portfolio it would really bring me up to the next level with the next firm in time to come.
omg after sizing up all these obstacles and realistic issues to deal with. i find marraige a liability n nt so attractive package to begin with..
tomorrow i m giving training and the core product which is local credit report and overseas report, i seem to have make a blunder on my previous presentation on my own. however not a fatal mistake
the day started with a system error with the emails flooding in errors to rectify, duplicate purchase to make decision whether to waive or charge the customers.
Being the back up, the main has to go on urgent compassionate leave due to the passing of the elderly.
naturally the work load falls on the remaining 7 of us. one of them is new. whereas manager is not around.
one is on mc . effectively remains 5 of us. 1 one is new and then 4 however out of 4 , 3 in tending the helpdesk coz the other one shuns away from the responsibilities.
Jolly well settle the initial messy part, and tomorrow hope i can wave through the training session. settle all those correspondences and complete the task for the day n able to submit the weekly report by Thursday evening.
i m dreading the day when the hidden agenda comes. In this era women tend to be more aware of their interests, pros n cons in certain decision.
when the times comes. i believe i will make the correct n wise decision of all the possible alternatives and to my best advantage
life is never fair in the game. some times i may lose a little but i might gain some in return.
being the kind one maybe sometimes dun pay, but i will just contribute my fair share.
thinking of fri nite is suicidal becoz on sat morning i got to work for 3.5 hours. hahahah becoz i offer to swop shift over a long weekend. how many long weekend is there for one calendar year afterall. sob sob.
my efforts have been recognised and acquisition of new accounts. signs up and upgrades comes as a breeze as i m in a better position to converse with certain challenging clients and request.
ultimately i hope to achieve to be more meticulous and detailed in my work, my own personal well being. be a effective communicator and team player as i have too many diverse people in the team. people who love to boss around, people who are short tempered. sly, cunning as well as people who are helpful and warm.
i guess it does sums up whats about the team.
realistically we cant have the same type of people of the same nature. naturally people who are accommodating like me tend to be ripped off and exploited but what matters to me is i learn.
i take things as they come and not take no for answer. i choose to pursue the latter of why not. n probably saying less no to myself can have a more positive outcome and a more desirable effect as i gradually learn all the tricks to survive in sme. n after that i m well really polished and well trained for more challenges ahead.
n with a paper well chucked in my file, as well as a decent portfolio it would really bring me up to the next level with the next firm in time to come.
omg after sizing up all these obstacles and realistic issues to deal with. i find marraige a liability n nt so attractive package to begin with..
Sunday, September 05, 2010
stand firm in my stand n not be a push over
Both panda n I have plans for the future. Despite many attempts with Bto, we are unable to select house of our own.
His mother is malaysian and suggested that we may choose to stay in the JB house that is now rented out.
Although we have our plans to stay on our own, his mother keep dropping hints to us to stay w her when we settle down.
his mother is widowed therefore i felt that she might feel insecure, but she has 2 other younger son other than so.
During the conversation, So just kept quiet, while i have to keep my stand firm and I politely decline her kind offer. as i felt that JB was not a safe place to stay and in future if kids comes in the picture, it would be really troublesome and also we are not proficient in melayu. it would be a disadvantage for both of us. and if i were to want to go home to sg, it so far away as well. so the lower cost of living is not worth the hassle.
So naturally just want to avoid this topic and puts me in a difficult position as well. As much as i understand the dilenma , i do not wish to be caught up in a situation that i m not happy in my marriage in future becoz of his mum
i know this episode will run n run probabbly 100,000 times since by then his mum should know i m firstly not a pushover, secondly not a dumbass that takes everything for a yes.
yes it is a win-lose situation because ultimately i dun gain coz i know i wont feel happy staying in somebody's property n putting up with her coz in reality the property is not in my name so in future if there is conflict i might not have shelter over my head
secondly if i have conflicts with panda, it would be more difficult to get in touch w my family
thirdly if his whole family gang up against me, i would have to suck thumb and keep quiet because i m nt in my own territory
lastly i wont be a fool to compromise my freedom and privacy for the cost of lower expenses.
i m nt a greedy dumb ass. no free lunch in this world.
n i perfectly know mama boy panda will give in to mother panda time to time.
and if all else really fails i have no choice but to drop the panda before i regret
His mother is malaysian and suggested that we may choose to stay in the JB house that is now rented out.
Although we have our plans to stay on our own, his mother keep dropping hints to us to stay w her when we settle down.
his mother is widowed therefore i felt that she might feel insecure, but she has 2 other younger son other than so.
During the conversation, So just kept quiet, while i have to keep my stand firm and I politely decline her kind offer. as i felt that JB was not a safe place to stay and in future if kids comes in the picture, it would be really troublesome and also we are not proficient in melayu. it would be a disadvantage for both of us. and if i were to want to go home to sg, it so far away as well. so the lower cost of living is not worth the hassle.
So naturally just want to avoid this topic and puts me in a difficult position as well. As much as i understand the dilenma , i do not wish to be caught up in a situation that i m not happy in my marriage in future becoz of his mum
i know this episode will run n run probabbly 100,000 times since by then his mum should know i m firstly not a pushover, secondly not a dumbass that takes everything for a yes.
yes it is a win-lose situation because ultimately i dun gain coz i know i wont feel happy staying in somebody's property n putting up with her coz in reality the property is not in my name so in future if there is conflict i might not have shelter over my head
secondly if i have conflicts with panda, it would be more difficult to get in touch w my family
thirdly if his whole family gang up against me, i would have to suck thumb and keep quiet because i m nt in my own territory
lastly i wont be a fool to compromise my freedom and privacy for the cost of lower expenses.
i m nt a greedy dumb ass. no free lunch in this world.
n i perfectly know mama boy panda will give in to mother panda time to time.
and if all else really fails i have no choice but to drop the panda before i regret
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