yet another blur day

got an earful from anna. manage to put a post it note on her table.
ya . i was mingling with the new password when it was not approved by the adminstrator. as such i wasted today again.
tml i will start my afternoon shift . i hope i can successfully login in my new system soon. error free n start the race among other team..
location1854
actpoint saloon. shaw towers. while waiting for lsb to trim her hair
somehow regene is aware that i was upset that anna yelled at me in front of all the other interns
once again i was disappointed with my performance today.
all the rest had been certifedas its just me .. haizz. even the last intern also passed.haiz
if i still commit the same error.password violate again. i think i will be the talk of the town this time for the 6th time password violation termination error for the nth time again. i must make ammendents . must find jerry the poor thing IT adminstrator whose been clearing my shit for the past 3 days.. i hope to pass it..
tml at 1pm will report earlier to clear the call certification test.
1859hrs

0755hrs location kitchen dinning table

i am a bag of jitters today.5 mins before 8 my usual timing to leave house for work..
did a makeup . wore a black dress today for work. hope everything run smoothly as i wish. although its out of comfortable zone but its something which i 've looking forward to. this one month would be a one of turbulence an uncertainty. anxiety. i wish i could reduce the amount the mistakes that i can account to.. leonard whos my boss seems to be an arrogant man.. i hope we can work well together then.. cheers for me.. time for e morning rat race again.. 0757

written test.. done..

iscrew up today. when it was my turn. i panicked n i didnt fcmanage to clear my call certification test.
i must remember my passwordswell and learn fast soon.
tml will be a better n less blur day @ the plattform

one more day beforecertification

just had breakfast with dad.. tink his impression vs panda n ed is veri differeent. ed is a quiet n tao person compared to panda. panda 's more jovial n easy going which i tink is veri important that the partner gets alongwith the family if not its gonna be very difficult in the long run.
so far during the breakfast. dad seems to complain more on elephant.. in fact now hes more ok with me staying over at panda's occasionally although he feels insecure coz i m a daughter. if in the event that panda breaks off with me.. i got to bear the full liability .
dad terms panda as the 大藩薯。。搞笑咯！！ 哈哈
i tink dad also finds it awkward to attend bro worm'swife aka elephant high tea lunch but he feels obliged to be present coz he seek consultation from grandma n auntie . that if hes not present or bro worm lunch. bro worm will be veri malu that the fammily is not there to support him..
in the end. my dad oso went alongwith bro 3 .. heheh i can slack at home after facial n slack..
last week got a few remarks. was thinking when i was having facial earlier.
被称为朋友的妈妈还有男朋友的妈妈或姐姐。 心情当下很难过。。对自己有些失望。。
、所以决定了。。 为了给自己一个交代， 我最后决定为自己皮肤花上一个小小的投资。。在pinky 和peggy 的大力推荐。 我一定要自己焕然一新。。 死胖子。。熊猫仔。。你就等着吧。。 porkie.. ms pork 也有变成美女的一天。。。 pinky my regular facial therapist.. 非常之支持我积极减肥的小小计划。。
大胖熊猫。。 天生baby face.. 我当然不能输。。。 无论在职场或感情。 我一定得更努力。。更勤劳。
最讨厌熊猫那副洋洋得意的嘴脸。。 虽然我天生皮肤暗谈老成，我并没有因此自卑。 现在不会以后也不会。。
、生活苦短。。想必父亲今天的high tea 应该吃得蛮辛苦。。。要有不必要的应酬。。 、免了罢。。。 我自己在家煮泡面都比较开心。。
近来的一打击。。 我都一律把一切的好坏当成contructive feedback..尤其打击最大。。 我新的同事称我为长辈。。 好酸啊！！。。 希望upgrade 了skincare products.. 用了产品可以扑救我的老化。。还有其次是可以讲我是老、女人的。。 大跌眼镜。。 、咋舌。。
有一晚。。 因自尊心的做祟。。 我理直气壮得和熊猫摊牌。。 要是嫌弃我老成就尽管找别的女人。。 老娘也就罢了。。 在msn 竟然很恨下心来有了那段对话。。
日子久了。。。在atas bank.. 自然也要blend in corporate culture.. 既然下定决心。 就要做最好。。虽然眼前有很多的不明确和人事的难搞。。我自然得在合适的场合。。carry ball.. wat to do.. banking 就是现实的。有利用价值就受宠。。 ocbc corporate banking 的、后宫六院见多了。。 自然叶明白其中的道理。。 看在钱的份上。 勉为其难。。 过了六个月。。 或一两年再选择。 事业还是、别的更重要。。next thursday shall start shiftwork.. 有些期待。。but also anticaptating some bad experience also. i m afterall new horn. new bird sure kenna bullied oso.. some possibility有一副操老的脸竟然可以吓吓别人。。 老娘不好惹哦。。 hehehe.. 愿我明天call certification in one to one 顺利成功。。 一次通过。。 one exam take is all i need to be certified ok for good product knowledge and SOP..

on sat after a long day out @ gloria 's jeans with the new hires and screen training in office

1930hrs.. location. centre point .. level 3 bench. still waitin for panda to end his magic ritual . i find it weird to sit there n use my netbook n wait for him as well
finally went through the checklist for the exam tips and guidelines had a lot of thrashing sessions with Regene, Seetoh , and Shinhua. looks can be deceiving. shinhua although is quiet. but shes the most detailed person among the few of us. haha.
nevertheless its an interesting session thrashing with the 3 of them , trouble shooting the concepts and hot questions to be tested. so far. for my personal part . calculation remains a weak area for me. but handling nasty calls should not be too much of a problem to me. since i have prior experience in front line
regene was sharingwith me how her hsbc career was and how she met richard her husband. jsut realized how banking relationship always starts with colleagues becoz of the lack of interaction with people of different industries because of long working hours.n since bimbo couldnt get out of the ex story . she kept harping about it. and its like not doing her good either. it bores everyone and shes not focusing and paying attention to whats important now.
tink must store credit also. dad just called .hes been hinting which shift i m working today and how i should go n overnite @ panda tonite too often . haha. i got the hint, tink my dad a bit miss me also. he seldom calls me on the phone to check on me as well these days. but i guess he knows i m in safe hands with panda @ his residence n not straying or drinking my life away at the pub haha. which is ok .
luckily i have a late lunch at 2.. my stomach is rumbling now. tat dumb panda is still at his weekly almost daily ritual to play magic cards with his friends.. he told me one hour. would b ready by 8 .. i m starting to get a little impatient now since today is like our anniversary n obviously tml he still got another round of his gaming freaks n i m still at this corner typing gibberish ..
coming mon i would have a mini get together with the new hires before we all go to our respective teams .. although each have their own weakness. they r generally nice people like now .. but compared to 8 teams . with an average of 10-14 , ts a totall different ball game. can only look forward to it now since i chose to leave a rosy section. gd luck to me on mon for exam and call certification day. looks like a longsunday to go through the important points. look forward to facial tomorrow. will help to clean the face thoroughly and prepare for shifters lifestyle

last second day for training .. ending of honeymoon soon

its been a long week, everything has been nothing but more gruellinhg on more system training. the new hire among my group has built a mini bond together. its been quite funny and enjoyable during class.was happy to be chilling at home on this friday night. starting from next week onwards on oct1- 0ct30 would begin my mini shift . its 2-11. at least i wont have to squeeze with the conventional rush hours OLs but then again . days of honeymoon will be over soon.
i m looking forward to it but i m also worried abt it.
peiling whose sister is in the previous batch was commenting the first 3 days is torturous. its indeed a frightening thought.
i m supposed to touch on the notes and the screen training tomorrow but i simply have no mood to study them.
the fries @ everting with fries was gd. except that i find the portion a bit small. but nevertheless panda n i decide to try it.
today we were so bored in class that the boys.. xiang xiang and rick were doing the challenge on how many highlighter u can stack haha.

day 12 RC/ CC screen shots training

today is veri difficult day to get by. training by powerpoint slides for system training is super boring.
nevertheless i managed to scrape through the day with subway double chocolate chip n oatmeal rasin cookie bought from lunch
my password n id is ready for use. had to do a demo in clas. luckily i m coping ok
shinhwa is quite a weird character. shes super quiet thats one thing. n since shes so shy she never ask when in doubt.
n then shes so sensitive. i dunno how to communicate with her . it seems that small things she gets offended tat we seem to be offensive. i try my best no to talk too much to her then since shes so petty no point talking much then
in a new environment. i believe its important to be humble.attentive to adapt to the working culture.
so far i observed most of the citi bankers are workoholics. they really loveed to drink and smoke outside harrys bar..
i hope i wont end up like one of them.. the happy hour seems to be quite popular though over there. was planning after monday's paper a gd chill out would be good with the new hires since after we grad from training. we wont have much opportunity since all 6 of us are in different teams .except seetoh and myself
i dun wish to retake the trraining or retake the exam
on the other hand if i clear it. it will be tha start of a battlefield
i was walking in citilink last evening. n i bump into tiongboon. aw his cute 1.52m gf. she looks tiny beside tb whose 1.85m haha, so no mood to memorise all the credit card bin no.. arggh.. got to memorise and be familiar by sun morning.. how sad.

a bit of retail therapy ro update my collection of shoes

hehe i bought 2 pairs of shoes after work today @ bugis street
firstly i took a glance at citilink. then bugis junction then finally i decide to go for 2 pairs of cheap shoes instead of 1 pair of expensive one.
the eclipse and fisherman are my key to staying awake for today's lesson. after a long weekend. usually the brain malfuntion and switch off
the F1 race is on this fri sat and sun. i took a longer route to work in stead of taking 133 directly to centennial tower and crossing the road. i alighted at bugis and walk to millenia tower from shaw tower. took me about 10 min .. i walked a lot today
n just now when i apply moisturiser earlier i realize how dark my eyebags are.i tinki better sleep early to prevent myself from upgrading from a tanned pig porkie to a mini panda. today still got homework to do.. next mon is already exam.. got to start revision soon
must be equipped with the right skills and knowledge so i will be confident and competent in handling all sorts of fraudulent transaction with ease
they r veri strict on the competency of product knowlege n strict guidelines n sop the adhere to .. must pass it hope can end soon but then when honeymoon at training ends.. its time to be on my own ..

ph today..rested n dida pedicure..cooked dinner for 2 fav men

manage to cook a decent dinnerfor dad n panda. its nt a lot of time. but i tink dad's quite happy ,,
oso went to get groceries.. from ntuc.. bought some bread. was really a gd deal . $3.80 sunshine bread comes with free farmland milk n a small pack of hotdog bun. cooking for bf n dad is a blissful thing to do. hehe tml is day 11 of training. 1 more week then will be end of training.. went to the neighbourhood and did a pedicure shiok shiok ..so ph is not totally spoilt . shoppingwith panda in ntuc can be quite relaxing in a way.. haha.. buy food and store. bought some nuts and biscuits for the interns n colleagues for training. so its true to win a man's heart must win the stomach first.. hehehe
so today is quite a fruitful day although the first half isa bit spoilt coz i wake up at 8 which is only 1 hr bonus of sleep compared to normal day.. i hope to have a hearty breakfast tomorrow before i start work ,, hehe
the farmland milk milk and sunshine bread with skippy and snow brand butter.. hehhe
its a forwardingday ahead..
after a tiring day food food is important especially got a nice looking bento /. dinner/ homecooked food would be gd.. i tink it brightens a person 's day if the dishes r cute oso
the lunch box is bought by brother worm.. after this treat sure is a nt gd sign.. i dun tink i want to attend his wife 's gathering.. interaction with her family// received this email . found itquite meaningful
its almost 2 now. n i m pening in again.. the nescafe is lethal.. i m still so wide awake now hha

PH on hariraya one of my last ph that i can enjoy full fledged

last nite watched phobia2.. @ illuma.
1313hrs
just finished doing the household chores , n also washing xiao hong together with panda. at least make myself condusive.. haha.. the dog room is now free of spider web.. ma hu.. hehehe i cleaned the fan. mopped the floor for him make his environement more condusive and clean to prevent everyone from falling sick
while hes packing his magic card on the bed. i decide to pen in a short entry
i know dad wont be very pleased with me poping by panda's place. hehe didnt mention about the free cleaning labour.. finally one moreweek to training and i will start on mentoring on next tues 28th and then on my own on nov.. today s aday to slack and relax .. tml will my own house turn of washing and cleaning.. i miss my caocao nowalthough ihad a panda bolster last nite. 1318hrs
2230hrs
poor panda had to tahan my dad's incessant nagging n conversation.. the sngs seem to have this ability to chatter non stop hahaa.. obviously panda was almost dying. but then its becoz its my dad so he lun lor haha.
as much as i was his part time domestic helper or maid for today. he was my part time ahmad to bro2 's dinner @ sengkang..
dinner @ auntie may's place was not bad. along the way onn ting n onn ling oso came as well as auntie may's mother.. hoho shes asking me when she get to attend my wedding dinner.
manage to get some decent bakerinz mooncakes for panda n his family n so did panda . he did not appear empty handed when he was invited to my brother 's placce for dinner.
we had some private time together at home when his mum n bro went out so it was a gd chance to pack the house and clean the room throughly in this holiday session
i had just mopped the floor as well
at first dada bit paiseh to accept panda 's gift n his ahmadride tobro place haha. after a while he oso chat nonstop in his car until i tink panda 's ear drum almost burst..
dad a bit unhappy that i m not home most of the time n tink maybe hes jealous that i m over at his placemoreoften.. this week my bro is out of town n hes more lonely than usual. maybe i shld try to spend some time to strike a balance. coming nov i will be starting the nite shift oso. hope i can pass the probation

out @! actpt salon while waiting for my hair to be rebonded..

after observation with cheryl who was guiding me earlier. its really not a easy task juggling form application, complaint and service request concurrently..

hehe my new hair style.. nice n lady like hoho.. must thank ms ho my psch buddy for snapping sucha niceshot of me.. hohohoo
hehehe later watching a horror movie hoho
manage to squeeze time for huiru and dad n tabao dinner for big panda. he was so grouchy that i choose to have dinner instead of him... hehehe long weekend..falallalal 2232hrs

a happy outing..

the lunch @ ms foodcourt so far is super ex. dua lau earlierafter a lot of input. had tomyam today for lunch, so far the most value for $ lunch in ms foodcourt the greatest indulgence today is the dark emotion at tcc.. today is quite kao xiao in the training room. all the poly intern didi n meimei were complaining why their intern pay got delayed,
hehe tml i m going to get my hair done. it looks like a ball of mess. got to head back to bed now.. beauty sleep before i become one lao char boh.. n upgrade to look like my bf 's auntie .. up level above mama

0752hrs

finally Day10.. fri one more day to go . n i can enjoy Ph..hohoho
can meet lsb n wen ren for dinner its been so longsince i last met wen ren for dinner.. hahahaa..i need to make of my remaining 2 weekend n i will value this mon 's PH .. time to go to work 0756hrs

its a new day day 9 .. 0752hrs

on my way to cityhall now.. since i took the bus earlier i decided not to to squeeze in the train so i decided to pen in an entry as i still got about half an hour to go.
went to sushi tei with sharleen. serene n elena. they were each harping about the revised commission structure and was resilient still about it. although the bank is giving a bad package. they had no choice too. sharleen havent got a placement with the IJP yet. n her team lead is busy sourcing one for her.

so much as the new environment is a challenge. i got to learn to work with many people.
the nite at panda was quite comical . i had to rush back home from cityhall and then back home while he waited downstairs while i packed my stuff , my work clothes and all ahhaha.
i slept quite early last night by 11.30pm i was quite ready to knock off with all the heavy calculation. its a jungle or a battlefield out there i m now approaching geylang, still got at least 20-30 mins n i can walk slowly from citilink to milemia tower.heeh im opp nationay lib .wqont be late .,0820hrs

0123hrs
as times goes by, the training has come to day 10 tml .its almost half of the training over. moving on to soft skills like the variuous systems.i oso cant sleep now maybe i just change work environmemt so maybe its self imposed stress on myself
its the transition adapting stage maybe i m worried
new job environemnt n then a lot of exam n quiz for product knowledge n i know boss have higher expectation ofme coz i was previously frm other bank so my skillset naturally must shine compared to other new hires i m giving myself one month to know the ropes. ts so competitive out there
even if i dun stress m yself i tink sooner someone will comeon knock on me ..i believe when i start nite shift my ability ntto sleep at nite will be eve n more serious
in fact i m like the only one whos got prior experience before so i guess the boss got higher expectation of me as well . n i m worried i cant keep up to tat standard in a way. i 've seen how they faceschurn out
so many of my colleagues in tat department smokes a lot
n my fren was telling me . e one who is in nite life better dun smoke during nite shift will age even more faster n prominent... its 1.45am now . i had doze off earlier in front of the netbook but i decide to be awake longer for tonite.

Day 8 .. 0659hrs. toss n turn one hour again

manage to wake up . dress up. make up n got ready for today's lesson.
today is wed can dress down a bit but then i decide to pen in an entry before i go off to work.
germ whos my ex colleague looks at my daily ranting so do my lsb n other close friends. i particular an comment which shes passed.. was if she hasnt seen me in person, i would have come across to her as a gentel sweet lady with long flowing also known as 长发飘飘。。。
was msning with my ex boss and telling him previously i wasnt really happy with ubi and oc. so i went forward to change my previous current cozy and comfortable lifestyle that i had
he commented i was quite brave to hop to a battlefield but he also consoled me and tell me i am still young and learn fast. but its hard to find a true friend there. which is true by the amount of endless banter i hear almost everywhere in the corner . in the lift. among the cubicle and toilets. getting so irritating with the amt of paparrazi and grapevine news. this is the result what i define as 人言可谓，自己小心就好。。nevetheless its afterall a new environment for me i will allow myself to settle in this new plot of land by 1 month. 2 months the latest
things that i had to modify was my dressing. makeup, heels and some level of appropriate dressing is essential so as not to look too sloppy.
productivity is highly tied to the daily result and performance. US banks emphasize on the sales numbers, the efficiency of each and every employee
they copied ritz carlton. had a cradle card similar to Ritz.. the last rule.. rule no 15. think and act like an owner. brought me an insight compared to oc's i dare to care and the core values is so different . when oc focus on prudence, competency, and work life balance. Citi is you can work till u drop to get things done. and some examples include offshore bankers helping their high networth client get money even if its the middle of the night , they will try all methods to dig money for them.n other values which i thought was quite realistic. never lose a client.exercise empowerment.demostrate genunine care. be the voice of citi. anticipate client needs.support change n growth n many more a total of 15values i tink oc has like only 5-10.. its a lot to digest.
it would perceive the us culture to be more bold in their methods to resolve a conflict n on of the methods sometimes is to shut the client with $ to settle the matter.
whereas oc is afterall a chinese bank , it has more heritage as its established in 1921 so when in terms of restructuring, cut cost. or to retrench the methods adopted are vastly differentiated. once auntie may cautioned me abt the culture of us is to hire and fire. whereaswith an oriental approach for oc. when they are more prudent and humanitarian, they would rather cut cost to retain people.
but both training i have attended. the sofware that the former use is backward compared to the latter.its as lot of observation among the youngsters. they are frm ngee ann n some of them aresmart. with a quick knack with numbers when it comes to calculation, this is an advantage for them. they r young n they can act fast but they might act rashly. but its a nice experience attending the training its as though i m young again. coz usually only when u r young, when u attend class. firstlyu make fun of the teacher. and then secondly . u talk back at them n lastly u always bargain for a longer break and a easier exam paper and tips to ace it.hahahaha
countdown to 28th . thats the last day of babysiting, n from 29th we will be attachhed to a mentor and be let go of theirh and by november n then another round of system upgrade and training..time to memorise all the credit card bin no.. 4544 `1500 XXXX XXXX.. a total of 30 cards and 4 credit line products to be familiar with the various code and very soon we will go into non theory which is the hands on training. the inital impression that i have for this sinister senior hostile looking trainer somewhat diminishes as she said morningto me yesterday when i was alone in the meeting room
the recent news is astonishing. i was overhearing that students mass commit suicide n in the us. one gal was killed n hidden in the wall before she got married and was found only after 7 days which is on the day of her wedding how sad. shes 24 young her bf is so leng zai. how thingsare predetermined and fated.. have to accept it good or bad . whatever when they are good news and bad news. 0743. i got 15 min maybe watch 早安您好 with lau pei first ... since i will b home later. dinner with ah lian. shar. n yaya..

day 7 of RC/CC training 150909

sitting comfortably on my bed now after a slow jog. a day @ work and dinner cooked by papa,just tested my new gadget. i just called my fren in hk .. haha n hear her on the line.
guess citi is atas. even my colleagues dress in style . its like its weird to be in the vicinity without heels and makeup and some decent dressing. some image to uphold and so forth..
another 2 more weeks before honeymoon ends.
so far the quiz r still ok. provided i got a smart buddy to rely on , hahha
cant wait for the fri to come. n sat to end at 12.30. n then ph on mon haha good..

0846hrs @ training room citi level 10

haiz therse still 10 mins before training my project mates are not here yet. so i decide to pin a short entry befpre class class..
i guess having a netbook is a gd in a sense i can check timely information was looking at the pics on sat i can understand why the comexstaff tot i m lsb's mother.. yeah its the top that made me look so much older..
here i m watching tv.. watching 唐心风暴。。 how 常在心 confronted alfred .. how her best fren cheated on her while she suspected that her bf was seeing another gal.. haiz today 's quiz was difficult to calculate reward points . luckily yong seng is such a smart one .if nt i sure fail my quiz .
maureen modify the pics on my double chin n hand.. oh man i m so determined to shed the weight liao. the mother remark is a wakeup call..

time to take note of my dressing since i m identified to be 操老。。i better acknowledge the fact that panda is truly baby face so i got to close this gap. i was so irritated that day i pass thisremark to him that he might want to find a cuter. babyface gf unlike me. hahah 0740 160909

sun morning.. using my new netbook to grumble again 0905hrs

whats with parents these days.
my dad was not supportive tat tis pt in time i chose to change job
keep grumbling earlier in the morning in the kitchen why did i choose to quit at this time because unlike other people i would not have bonus . n my cousin was a doctorate n earning big bucks in kpmg.. easily 5k n above. so after he passed that remark i am so inbalanced.i dun understand.. i might be only a poly grad diploma holder but that doesnt mean i m not fillal or i dun givwe family allowance.nor i am holding an indecent job. maybe i did whine to him about new environement. n he didnt agree that i should switch. also because i will be doing staggered hours , n dad being conventional. conservative would interpret that such job commitment is not suitable for me but nevertheless i still decidd to go for it
after a shower n a job more refreshed but i m still a little agitated 0957hrs.
i decide to chill at home today and revise on my training materials..instead. i realize it takes 10 mins to climb a flight of 14 stairs and just 10secs to take from 14th floor to 4th floor . i counted when i was panting in the lift earlier.
yesterday was an experience with comex. grabing cheap stuff in the hall in future if i dun need any gd bargain. i would avoid such places at all cost 1000hrs
n the more i think about it . the more i m a fool to myself.
Porkie says:
next time i would nt invite myself to such remark liao. since they are so unappreciative
shldnt have bother about other people
i was veri pissed off with my bf 's brother yesterday @ his place
coz my bf is quite nua n dun do much housework so i decide to pack n fold his laundry oso helping his bro n guess wat e bro pass a remark at the cousin whos the neighbour that we got a parttime new maid. help u never say thank u is ok but dun have to be so sarcastic rite..since people are not appreciative that theres no pt in helping such people then. afterall each to their own. its also not as though as people who are not as neat or organized would change overnight like wise people who are short tempered remain it that way.
y did i have to subject myself in such a situation then. i had better clean up my own house n room instead . which will in turn bring me higher satisfaction level than to ascertain other people 's acceptance and approval of me. i couldn't care less now. my mood today is imbalanced and unpredictable . i had better chill at home to avoid interaction so as not to affect the rest.1051hrs
蛋糕是罪惡食物，每一口都是反式脂肪，吃多少進去，腰圍就胖多少。可是，有時候就是很想吃蛋糕。

吃蛋糕吃的是一種心情。它是甜點中的桂冠，世上有很多比它好吃的甜點，卻只有它能拿來慶生。我們都不會忘記自有記憶以來吃到的第一個生日蛋糕。我的那個生日蛋糕是粉紅色的，蛋糕上面有兩朵玫瑰花。我不記得那年我幾歲？四歲？五歲？味道我也不記得了，只記得它的樣子。

即使不是生日蛋糕，吃蛋糕的心情也總是愉快的。它就像一瓶粉紅香檳，每一口都能讓你把煩惱和悲傷暫時拋到腦後，明天的事，明天再去想吧！

我們生活的每一天．豈會事事盡如人意？我們總是沮喪地發現，自己沒有自己想的那麼好，甚至並不是過著自己想要的生活，卻又不知道自己到底想要過怎樣的生活。我們往往有太多的欲望，要面對太多的誘惑，我們也有太多的理由去自憐和放縱。那麼，吃一塊蛋糕吧，或者喝一口酒，明天再清醒過來，告訴自己，香檳有時，蛋糕有時，煩惱有時，可惜，青春也有時。我們的生命容得下偶爾的自憐和放縱，卻容不下這兩樣東西沒有盡頭。光陰彈指過，下次吃蛋糕的時候，也許已經花白了頭髮，掉光了牙齒，吃蛋糕的心情也永遠不一樣了。 found the above quite enlightening.
n then i recall on friday nite when i was @ paramount hotel tong le with ubi crew.. there was this line from the 9pm show 笑有时，哭有时..brought me to the days when i was 7 and my mum once told me. when u r older you get to taste the different flavors in life. sweet. sour. bitter and spicy. always believe you can do it, rely on yourself and you will surely beat the odds and achieve whatever you want to.
n my mum told me before when u r older u get ur own family n u got to learn to fend for yourself when mum's not around to watch out for u. and u will be a big gal n learn how to manage a home of ur own n cook for ur dad was well.. this was told to me like almost 20 yrs ago. n somehow it rings a bell to me now. i guess this is life.after all
1535hrs
i was doing my weekely housework. i cleaned my fan in the room. cleared my laundry packed my wardrobe n i decide to chill in my little bed and do a recap for my training materials and rest in my own comfort area.. since lunch is cooked . i have some leftover . i can either keep for dinner or bring over to tml 's lunch as well since i have a microwave in the pantry' n lunch outside is usually so rushed and expensive. i was also thinking back what his bro told me. n i thought hey i m my father's daughter and ur bro's gf. u may think that i might be a busy body by doing a favour for u guys . but then the remark that i perceived didnt sound quite right to the ears to someone who deserve of equal respect to u as a guest for now. but even so if ur brother mention to ur gf that hey u r my part time maid .how would u feel rite. i m not saying that i m someone really petty but anyone or any individual out there ought to feel pissed off about such an insult.
therefore i have concluded better nt to be a busybody or acting housekeeper anymore since other people are so rude. i dun remember saying this to own brother's gf when she cohabitated with my bro 2 or bro 3 before they got married. this is such a childish comment. if the situation was turned against their own gf . i dun think they feel good either.
enough of the ranting. i feel gd in my own house. doing my own cleaning being my own house keeper then . anyway i wont b poping by as often as i used to , shift work is a takeaway of such chores anyway.hopefully when pay frm citi n oc rolls in i will clear my cards fully and start afresh. to spend only on whats essential and necessary
2238hrs
panda cameover n find me. i tink mother panda was pissed that he didnt offer to run errand for her. n for the first time wang wang, panda n me walked me to the bus stop coz i know panda's too tired to give me a lift back. my food which i cooked is finished for today no need to eat leftover for tml's lunch hoho..my days to countdown to zero/discounted weekends is left with 2 more sats and suns.. n then morning shift for the month of october. thereafer nov i will start night shift. its quite a daunting thought..