sun morning.. using my new netbook to grumble again 0905hrs

whats with parents these days.
my dad was not supportive tat tis pt in time i chose to change job
keep grumbling earlier in the morning in the kitchen why did i choose to quit at this time because unlike other people i would not have bonus . n my cousin was a doctorate n earning big bucks in kpmg.. easily 5k n above. so after he passed that remark i am so inbalanced.i dun understand.. i might be only a poly grad diploma holder but that doesnt mean i m not fillal or i dun givwe family allowance.nor i am holding an indecent job. maybe i did whine to him about new environement. n he didnt agree that i should switch. also because i will be doing staggered hours , n dad being conventional. conservative would interpret that such job commitment is not suitable for me but nevertheless i still decidd to go for it
after a shower n a job more refreshed but i m still a little agitated 0957hrs.
i decide to chill at home today and revise on my training materials..instead. i realize it takes 10 mins to climb a flight of 14 stairs and just 10secs to take from 14th floor to 4th floor . i counted when i was panting in the lift earlier.
yesterday was an experience with comex. grabing cheap stuff in the hall in future if i dun need any gd bargain. i would avoid such places at all cost 1000hrs
n the more i think about it . the more i m a fool to myself.
Porkie says:
next time i would nt invite myself to such remark liao. since they are so unappreciative
shldnt have bother about other people
i was veri pissed off with my bf 's brother yesterday @ his place
coz my bf is quite nua n dun do much housework so i decide to pack n fold his laundry oso helping his bro n guess wat e bro pass a remark at the cousin whos the neighbour that we got a parttime new maid. help u never say thank u is ok but dun have to be so sarcastic rite..since people are not appreciative that theres no pt in helping such people then. afterall each to their own. its also not as though as people who are not as neat or organized would change overnight like wise people who are short tempered remain it that way.
y did i have to subject myself in such a situation then. i had better clean up my own house n room instead . which will in turn bring me higher satisfaction level than to ascertain other people 's acceptance and approval of me. i couldn't care less now. my mood today is imbalanced and unpredictable . i had better chill at home to avoid interaction so as not to affect the rest.1051hrs
蛋糕是罪惡食物，每一口都是反式脂肪，吃多少進去，腰圍就胖多少。可是，有時候就是很想吃蛋糕。

吃蛋糕吃的是一種心情。它是甜點中的桂冠，世上有很多比它好吃的甜點，卻只有它能拿來慶生。我們都不會忘記自有記憶以來吃到的第一個生日蛋糕。我的那個生日蛋糕是粉紅色的，蛋糕上面有兩朵玫瑰花。我不記得那年我幾歲？四歲？五歲？味道我也不記得了，只記得它的樣子。

即使不是生日蛋糕，吃蛋糕的心情也總是愉快的。它就像一瓶粉紅香檳，每一口都能讓你把煩惱和悲傷暫時拋到腦後，明天的事，明天再去想吧！

我們生活的每一天．豈會事事盡如人意？我們總是沮喪地發現，自己沒有自己想的那麼好，甚至並不是過著自己想要的生活，卻又不知道自己到底想要過怎樣的生活。我們往往有太多的欲望，要面對太多的誘惑，我們也有太多的理由去自憐和放縱。那麼，吃一塊蛋糕吧，或者喝一口酒，明天再清醒過來，告訴自己，香檳有時，蛋糕有時，煩惱有時，可惜，青春也有時。我們的生命容得下偶爾的自憐和放縱，卻容不下這兩樣東西沒有盡頭。光陰彈指過，下次吃蛋糕的時候，也許已經花白了頭髮，掉光了牙齒，吃蛋糕的心情也永遠不一樣了。 found the above quite enlightening.
n then i recall on friday nite when i was @ paramount hotel tong le with ubi crew.. there was this line from the 9pm show 笑有时，哭有时..brought me to the days when i was 7 and my mum once told me. when u r older you get to taste the different flavors in life. sweet. sour. bitter and spicy. always believe you can do it, rely on yourself and you will surely beat the odds and achieve whatever you want to.
n my mum told me before when u r older u get ur own family n u got to learn to fend for yourself when mum's not around to watch out for u. and u will be a big gal n learn how to manage a home of ur own n cook for ur dad was well.. this was told to me like almost 20 yrs ago. n somehow it rings a bell to me now. i guess this is life.after all
1535hrs
i was doing my weekely housework. i cleaned my fan in the room. cleared my laundry packed my wardrobe n i decide to chill in my little bed and do a recap for my training materials and rest in my own comfort area.. since lunch is cooked . i have some leftover . i can either keep for dinner or bring over to tml 's lunch as well since i have a microwave in the pantry' n lunch outside is usually so rushed and expensive. i was also thinking back what his bro told me. n i thought hey i m my father's daughter and ur bro's gf. u may think that i might be a busy body by doing a favour for u guys . but then the remark that i perceived didnt sound quite right to the ears to someone who deserve of equal respect to u as a guest for now. but even so if ur brother mention to ur gf that hey u r my part time maid .how would u feel rite. i m not saying that i m someone really petty but anyone or any individual out there ought to feel pissed off about such an insult.
therefore i have concluded better nt to be a busybody or acting housekeeper anymore since other people are so rude. i dun remember saying this to own brother's gf when she cohabitated with my bro 2 or bro 3 before they got married. this is such a childish comment. if the situation was turned against their own gf . i dun think they feel good either.
enough of the ranting. i feel gd in my own house. doing my own cleaning being my own house keeper then . anyway i wont b poping by as often as i used to , shift work is a takeaway of such chores anyway.hopefully when pay frm citi n oc rolls in i will clear my cards fully and start afresh. to spend only on whats essential and necessary
2238hrs
panda cameover n find me. i tink mother panda was pissed that he didnt offer to run errand for her. n for the first time wang wang, panda n me walked me to the bus stop coz i know panda's too tired to give me a lift back. my food which i cooked is finished for today no need to eat leftover for tml's lunch hoho..my days to countdown to zero/discounted weekends is left with 2 more sats and suns.. n then morning shift for the month of october. thereafer nov i will start night shift. its quite a daunting thought..