Men prefer being solo over a bad marriage: study By Belinda Goldsmith
Mon Jun 2, 1:26 AM ET
SYDNEY (Reuters Life!) - Bachelor Carl Weisman got fed up of being classified as a playboy, a loser or a commitment-phobe so he set out to find out exactly why he and a growing number of eligible men were steering clear of marriage.
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Weisman, 49, conducted a survey of 1,533 heterosexual men to research a book aiming to give women an insight into why some smart, successful men opted to stay single -- and help lifelong bachelors understand why they are still the solo man at parties.
He concluded that most men were not afraid of marriage -- but they were afraid of a bad marriage.
"Men are 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all," Weisman told Reuters in a telephone interview.
"This is the first generation of people who have grown up with bad divorces. People assume there is something wrong if you don't marry but these are men who have made a different choice and not given in to social pressures."
The release of his book "So Why Have You Never Been Married? - Ten Insights into Why He Hasn't Wed," comes amid a growing trend for more people to stay single, with less social or religious pressures on men -- and women -- to tie the knot.
Weisman said U.S. figures showed that in 1980 about 6 percent of men aged in their early 40s had never married but this number had now risen to 17 percent.
AFRAID TO MAKE MISTAKES
Weisman said his online survey found there are three groups of bachelors -- about 8 percent who never want to marry, 62 percent want to marry but of which half won't settle for anything less than perfection, and about 30 percent who are on the fence.
Four out of 10 bachelors did not want children compared to three out of 10 wanting to be a father. The rest were undecided.
But while 72 percent of respondents said they were not afraid of marriage, about half of them said the situation that scared them most was marrying the wrong person.
"It's so important to these men to get it right. My best advice to single women after bachelors is to be patient. If you're in a hurry to get married you'll be frustrated," he said.
Weisman also found that financial issues, both positive and negative, played a large part in men's fear of commitment.
"Those with little money said they would have nothing to offer a partner, with some suffering self-esteem issues and withdrawing from the dating pool," said Weisman, an engineer-turned-author with two books now published.
"While those who are financially sound were terrified what a bad divorce could do to them."
Weisman said his research blew away any idea that single men were unhappy.
"A compelling issue was how many of them had found contentment in a never-married life," he said. "They had created lives full of careers, friends and ambitions. It was not like they walk around all day worried about not being married."
For him, researching the book made him also look at himself -- and he ended up living with a girlfriend for the first time.
"Now we're looking at getting married. As I researched the book I found I was looking at men 10 years older than me and it was like looking into the future. If I didn't change, nothing would," he said.
(Editing by Miral Fahmy)
http://www.sexandthecitymovie.com/
http://www.newline.com/sexandthecity/?cat=13
Follow the adventures of Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Samantha (Kim Cattrall), Charlotte (Kristin Davis) and Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) four years after the series ended as they continue their lives in Manhattan. Along with original characters such as Mr. Big (Chris Noth), Magda (Lynn Cohen) and Steve Brady (David Eignerberg), Academy Award Winner Jennifer Hudson joins the cast as Carrie's (Sarah Jessica Parker) new assistant.
tues nite watching these brings me a lot of tots
satc is a series of entangled relationship among these 4 gals from their 20s to their 40s
after watching the movie, hopefully it brings me hope for the quest for true love. that true love exists
its a twist in the plot when carrie finds herself jilted n dumped on her wedding day
mr big's 3rd marriage n then suddenly he cant bring himself to marry the woman of her dreams
it is a classic chick flick
女人恋爱时，容光焕发
可是当一个女人失恋时，她将会失去双倍的光彩
so when carrie saw mr big in th car. she got out of the limosine n in the vivenne west wood wedding gown she slamed the bouuqets of lily @ his head, that felt so real . real emotions. a woman really angry with a bf who last min changed his mind to marry her. what could be worse
since miranda is such a workholic, she hasnt been in bed with her husband for as long as 6 months. so finally steve cheated on her she was so upset with him
classic 台词:
I changed myself for you
n for miranda's bed scene with steve n since miranda is such a 刚强的铁娘子，this sentence spoils all the romance in bed..
steve, can we get this over n done with
so since mr big 悔婚，so carrie had to go "honeymoon" holiday with her gals..
that was the crunching part. she slept for days n there s this scene tat samantha fed her breakfast on her bed coz she was so 憔悴, thats when i realize how sunken her face was , a 40yr old woman with no makeup. eyebags n pale ..
20s a time to explore love
30s time to realize your mistakes
40s to buy drinks for your frens
samantha jones, shes a high flyer eventually dumps her bf of 5 yrs n decides to stay single because the reason is she realize she loves herself more than anyone
funny part , during valentine shes makes sushi. ly naked at her apartment waiting for her bf to havea steamy session her. but shes dissappointed where she lies there waitingfor 3hrs.. watching her sexy neighbour having sex with different gals every day, yet she holds back to avoid any scandal with this guy
bathing scene of this neighbour.. superb
Charlotte who gets pregnant with her husband whos supposed to be sterile. she was so angry with mr big. that her water bag broke outside a restaurant, tis is super drama. cursing at our best fren's ex bf n then in labour
her classic line
i curse u the day u r done n then after e argument,mr big sends her to the hospital
finally miranda confess that she said something which affects mr big's decison on the marriage rehearsal eve. after she quarrel with steve n was so upset
you r crazy to b in a marriage, marriage ruins everything, tis affected mr big n i tink this is part of the reason he chickened out of marriage
when carrie knew abt this. she was so mad with miranda that she did such a thing n refuse to talk to her for days..
since it was mr big's 3rd marriage , he didnt want a big hue ha.. n vogue.. carrie a a merchandiser . the head editor wanted to make a cover feature of her a 40yr old bride. she had all this photo shots.. nicely shot. n almost e whole world knew she would be gettng married n the nsuddenlyshe was dumped. after she picked herself up. hire a black assistant to organise her stuff coz she sold her apartment n then bought back her apartment back again at a higher rate
she spent 3 days to clear her things n then she had to organise it back again when she realize she s nt staying in thepenthouse with mr big
she was a lucky gal, a wonderful man, n a penthouse manhatten suite.
big is a charming man.. e kind of man who is so man..
小女人with a 很有charm 的熟男
well i tink tis is e kind of man which will suit me
carrie's vivenne westwood wedding gown is so gorgeous , it will make any gal jealous.
there s a scene whereby carrie in her pyjamas, new yr eve takinga cab down to her fren's place just to celebrate new yr eve with her coz her husband took the son out for dinner n she was all alone in the apartment eating tabao chinese food
so in the heavy snow .. she call her just to chat n carrie took the trouble to go to her apartment to acc her
how many of such frens can u find in your life , the scene is quite funny when carrie finds mr big unwilling to get out of the car to go in the library which they are going to hold their wedding n dejected.
she was so upset n then her frens supported her during the trip in mexico
it was her darkest period after almost 10yrs with a man
frankly speaking
一个女人有多少个十年，错过了就是错过了。
所以carrie 可以和mr big break up n reconcile n eventually get married, happy wedding is a gd ending
even miranda forgave her husband for his infidelity n went for marriage counselling n then they got back together
after marriage , their flame simmer down n then they had less n less of sex n then marriage ruined everything
everything became so routine. even their sex life was affected , coz miranda behaves like a man, shes a attorney , a lawyer who even had to take both sides of the pros n cons to make a decision whether to reconcile with her husband n if she does , she got to fulfila promise to meet steve at a bridge
n then there was these 2 options. between feeling n reality
a quest for love,, these 4 ladies n they gt the ending they desired in the end
its always a gamble between finding true love n meeting the wrong guy
bad guyyyyyssss......
they are everywhere.无所不在。
很高兴我从新找回自信，重新出发，没有自暴自弃，一年后的今天我不一样了。
和从前到现在，有很多很多，一个晚上一言难尽，我不会选择过去的我，有了岁月的成长累积的不同人生体会才会多姿多彩，尝过酸甜苦辣，才会珍惜以后的幸福
我坚信我一定会幸福，一定。。遇到错的人，会来一个带给我幸福的人。要继续相信爱情。有时走过婚纱店会幻想自己穿上婚纱的一天，心里甜甜的，
有一次去manicure,有个人和我说，如果一个女人肯为一个男人生小孩应该是很爱他，因为生小孩付出和牺牲的实在太多了。。
好男人。。 嗨在那里。。。。
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