secret entry earlier

my hands r so sore now.. the marie biscuits needs to be pressed until it becomes flakes..
my manicure is ruined..
i had to rush from one place to the other to avoid disappointment from my friends or my bestie who only had mon ntie to impart cheesecake baking skills to me
she only had one nite to teach me n i had a last min in town for hot pot
n panda had to tell me he wanted me to join his friends and just as i thought my shopping is over. i had to rush to get the gifts run an errand for the creamer which took me ages to find in the hyper market
so the disadv is the hypermarket is just too big.. n when u cant get what you especially when you are pressed for time.. the effect is just very stressful
late for friend 'sdinner rushing to bake cake for him by 9 and it was already 7.30 when i reached town after i deposit my round 1 of groceries from PS..
so in order not to let down any parties i got to make an extra trip just for my friends . now i can slowly sit back relax. lean back and enjoy xmas. all the preparation chores are done.. i jsut have to dress up and wait for him to pick me up..
i m hoping to c a veri HAPPY panda when he gets to taste my virgin cheesecake.. i bought korean strawberries to go along with it... it has been so challenging got myself so dirty because of it
eating it is easy. doing it is like hell
from raw material to the finished product took me like so long to prepare and my finger nails are so painful now..
yet i still cannot disclose this entry yet because its meant to be a surprise
0108hrs

0124 241208
just finished the garnish on the cake.. i wonder if he will be happy with my cake..

0645
241208
i did a most thing i never do usually .. omg i have changed..
i ordered mac breakfast delivery to him .. 2 sets
mac griddle and big breakfast
carefully cordinated , so as not to let him know
n also a home cake delivery service
mac breakfast was a last min decison coz i was too hungry in bed n i couldnt sleep ..
another 30 mins before taking a cab down his place.. how exciting.. my cake is so nice... i hope i could be able to catch a cab without any jam

http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/sbcKu_v5RVU/
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they sing really nice n soulful songs.. freaking funny man..

eve of my lsb 's birthday

1225hrs

Monday, December 22, 2008

0856 221208 mon with no mon blues

finally 8 hrs of uniterrupted sleep last nite. waking up super high today
kids r so exhuasting. the monkeys are really very hyper last nite at ah ma's place
her bed "zamp" until it looks like we got to changethe covers for her man.. she is still gigggling..
leng ah.. mui la.. no kia shng..... bui la.. in teochew.. while she was cleaning at her dentures at the dressing table
my ah ma 's image a bit different. it was straight hair normally is in qq hair one.. so suddenly .. ma. u go n rebond ur hair issit. how come e hair looks so little and small now

she was talking to me last nite. at the couch..
leng ah.. find a gd man n settle down.. nt young anymore must learn to take care of yourself and ur family next time. start to learn to cook first. taking care of a house is not easy.. mothers a re always giving.. e endless chatter in the family cars almost make me deaf
2 boys . 1 gal is bad enough..
4 boys 3 gals. omg its war...
lately i find kids amusing oso.. the way they talk. hahahha maybe its the bio clock ticking maybe i m just a bit more paternal these days with the influx of so much kids in the house.. i should probabbly go candy empire later to get more candies to bian the xiao hai.. wahhahahhahahahha ^_^
i woke up today still very mentally challenged because i yell too much last nite
these days kids r really different, they dun keep things,. express themselves freely
i got a nephew who brush past me.. gugu.. skiuse hor.. dun block the door.
wa.......... i never used tat kind of my tone on my elders before.
i was asking my bro. was i so " hyper" when i was younger
no leh i dun recall . i remember watching sesame streeet and pinky and the brain on tv.. while my mum went out for appointments for her property agent clients
proabbly tats how i got my sales genees from her
she always like wahahahahhahahahah in the middle of the conversation . jovial n fun
like me
today is a happy and high day for me.. mon with no mon blues
DON'T CALL ME BABY MADISON_AVENUE in the background with the flying dutchman

all i want for xmas is a shapely hips and healthy abs.. oto 's tag line. kinda funny
tml is branch luncheon. xmas lunch another chance to makan again
tonite i got to go jogging to reduce less sinfulness
enjoy everyday... life is so uncertain these days.. i wanna be happy yeahhhhhh
FALALLALAlalalalalallalalalal
0915

cooked myself breakfast.some blur king forgot his phone so my bergin bf goes to papa together with old town kopi

1757
long day in town shopping .. for the kids. having joanne to choose with me was a wise decisoin coz she has got the popular card
i asked her what she wanted for xmas this year because i have gave her any
jokingly asked her .. u need a man
n her reply was she need a lot of $ and time..
as i was paying for the stuff,, i told her i have not much money for you, but i will give you some of my time n love to you . just as i bought gifts to amuse the kids
i tink my dad felt my "love " for him as well when i made coffee for him today and breakfast
something that i've never done for the past 25yrs or so
although hes usually a subtle person who doesnt talk much in the house. he felt great i guess so
carrying chunks of heavy things. a veri sickening cabbie . lady driver who rattles on n on about erp which i had to rush for time
in the end after the 3rd time she mention abt the extra cost. i lost my cool and told her that i will pay whatever costs it takes to get me home
carrfour is not exactly a good place to shop because it is too huge
it is too crowded.viv is being very nice to me today
i m also very accomodating as well
luckily something good happened.. twilight is a nice movie
there was a line in the movie that says
i will love you unconditionally ,i wonder how many people will do that
a vampire in love with a a human who the guy has to keep his urge from biting his gf
and his family of vampire to keep other bad vampires from harming the pretty lady in the movie
so in order to accomodate my friends i did a most stupid thing today. take cab from town back home with all the barang and back to town for dinner n viv's place later ..
maybe it was not dumb of me afterall
i still feel a little rage in me
the many things that i did .. was out of concern but was mistaken as an act of being overly naggy or critical
i can feel my blood pumping more quickly now..
i need to calm down and think calmly
still got to town to have a little steamboat dinner with the js ppl
may is back from shenzhen n shes got some things to pass to me . n i havent met them for like some time..
the things that i did.. maybe was too over
well we all want the best for someone we care aint it.
so we bother to do certain things and we give special privileges .. like for rick i gave him the advantage of choosing his own xmas gift. while xavier , andre, rena, n esmond didnt had that sort of advantage
i bother to make time for him , make him a happier boy although his dad doesnt.i tink hes happy .. that i do small things for him
he is a nice kid who appreciates his gugu love for him
n after sitting here ranting.. my rage " simmer " down
i begin to see things from a different point of perspective
and if my kind deeds r not being appreciated. i dunnno how much more things i need to do to amuse ppl i love
really ..

a little rage in me that needs to simmer down.. nt healthy to be angry all the time
my hands r now still sore from the shoping earlier .. my mind is still in a little twirl . i dunno whether m i being rational enough for all this
at the end of the day.. i m still human.. a woman .. a simple lady who needs to be pampered with and loved

if accomodating n giving in too much is really a wrong thing to do
maybe i should stop giving in so much n let it be
y should i even bother
n the reason is becoz i care
and because i care it makes me do silly things sometimes
things that i never bother to do in the past
it was never worth doing it anyway for the rest of the guys i dated
i was like thrash to some of them anyway
n at the end of the day , what do i get anyway
i get more disappointment sadness n resentment only
and when things dun work out . which they never do . n i move on eventually faster as i thought
i m a tough gal when it comes to difficult situations and its never easy making good decisions when i m challenged with a lot of other better solutions
i m critical of myself.. while i m easy going to other people
they never c the other side of me when i m sad or even depressed because i try not to show that out. but today i seem to experience a little of everything, this is life
conflicts are everywhere. theres a lot of tension going on..

joanne asked me today can i bear all with his shit and live amicably in the long run
because its just the begining we are seeing the flaws of each other and how mature i am to overcome all the difficulties i face possibly even more ..
i have great confidence in my self but i dunno abt him

time to wrap the gifts and head out to town with them.. yeahhh.... screw the diet tonite.. i had enough.. i need a gd meal to recharge.. zero meat or little meat .. best pals to chill with cheers to friendship... its a long way to xmas.. 3 days
hohohohohohoho merry xmas

1834hrs

3 days before xmas 08.. papa gal . dong zhi

was woke up by dad . time to visit mum @ long hua shi .. its been a long time since i paid my last respects to this lady . someone who holds speciaL priviledge in my heart
mum .. i miss u...
bro is waiting for me .. to be updated.
time to get a new hair color..
dinner @ ah ma's.. .
xmas shopping tml ...
panda.... i miss u too..
papa gal gonna store "more credit" for xmass


hohohohoh santa claus is coming to town... ^_^
lLALALLALALllalalalalalalallal
xooxoxoxooxxoxxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxooxoxoxoxo

went to hair journal to do a hair color .. desmond is still my fav stylist..
borrowed some books to chill at home for my off day tml.. knowlege is power. i must spend less $ , do more sports. read more widely so as to be more equipped
09 is coming in less than 10 days.. wat a year. it was really been very long and tough one with the global economic crisis
take a rest first then proceed to ah ma 's place
today is dong zhi supposely we are one yr older today
ah ma 's cooking is gd. curry chicken n the cabbage soup. yummy

12/21/2008 10:20:25 PM zannheng Ms Brightside nothing la
12/21/2008 10:20:45 PM zannheng Ms Brightside how come you look so happy
12/21/2008 10:21:00 PM Ms Brightside zannheng cannot meh
12/21/2008 10:21:00 PM zannheng Ms Brightside haa a gal in love really look different
12/21/2008 10:21:26 PM Ms Brightside zannheng really
12/21/2008 10:22:06 PM zannheng Ms Brightside ya seem like happiness come out from your heart and cover all your face
hehehehe lol