Sleepless for no reason

My pc clock reads 5.57am on a Sunday morning.. and i just casually decided to read some of my previous blocs since as hard as i try.. i m still as sober n awake .. For some reason, tonite seems to be a difficult one.. no matter how hard i coax myself to be in slumberland.. n i happen to re read my blog n gosh.. its been ages since i blog... like since last Mar in year 2005 oh gosh!! its been like more than 1 year since i wrote any blogs.. might as well
its quite a day for me since my exam for my exemption unit is over.. summer holiday for my course starts in July.. long break ahead ...
Came back from my clubing sesson with one of my close frens.. had a couple of drinks, partying n people watching on those cute hunks n hot chicks in the bar...
Recently I have this thinking on how time really flies... for each of us. Its like just yesterday when you were just a kid n now you got to face certain issues in your life and problem solve it as you progess to certain stages .
Sometimes its good to handle things on your own n c for urself how it really turns out given in your best n wise decision that you make.
its been quite a while since i was on "reflective " mode.. as I observe and look around, certainly the people i c , interact do inflict a certain emotion in me & how would i react if i were in their shoes .
currently i have been freed of all the hassle with this ex of mine, which we have a bizzare relationship somehow or rather since his mother is my client. I still hear things about him , which i tink he really ought to think for himself on his ambitions, goals to set him more focused in his career path & not let people down whom has high hopes on him.
I would describe this ex of mine as a lost kid somehow & I was the nanny taking the lead to hold him & guide him.Hes a nice man, simple person who is contented n comfortable with his present pace & environment. However to survive well in a "jungle" we have to be ahead , plan things ahead & sure of why we want to do certain things to achieve certain objectives that we set outselves rather just doing it for the sake of it, I believe this will value add on our goals n act as a better motivation. I cant be a babysitter because i like to help people, i hope he can stand on his own one day without someone to push him.
Recently i just switched to a different path in the banking industry, & it certainly brings me some insights of common people since i m in the front line.There r lots of stories from my clients n everyday i hear different complains as well sometimes their problems as well n somehow my own problems seems to be smaller than i thought before.
I never imagined i would be in this line , strangly i 've grown to be fond of it.. someone on msn , my ex boss was chatting with me n asked me what was my passion... i started to think veri hard.. n then i convinced myself.. well i like travelling or rather i love travelling n perhaps being a tour guide would be interested than some banker...hahahaha...but this job is rather short lived, well i cant travel when i m old n haggard..
if i had the time , money & energy, i like to travel to differnt parts of the world to experience different food, culture , c more things & perhaps try dating people of various ethnics.. do i sound like some weird gal who cant settle for someting..
After the failed relationship, during the past 6 months or so, i have emerged a stronger person that i imagined. Its just that having someone is not as simple as it was for me when i m in my teens,its more than just getting along with each other & oso growing with each other mentally.If nt the relationship gets stagnant at that level & even more mundane than ever, having to have someone foriegn sleeping beside you to find that you r even more lonely with another person beside you.
I have this friend of mine, in fact someone whom i havent seen for the past 2 yrs we were online & she asks me out for coffee..so she told me she had this bf who just refused to ans her calls or reply to her sms for 2 weeks, n my fren was like .. still waiting for him to reply if they should continue on being together.. n this poor fren of mine was terribly upset that things were hanging half way.How could a man behave like this... really indecisive n wishy washy. If tings dun turn out well, so b it then..She has this fear which i believed most people have.. afraid of losing someone ideal at this moment, nt finding someone on par or better than the current one..this is especially even more scary if age catches up for felmales. For better or for worse, i 'll rather make the decison than letting others manipulating on my emotions. I have learnt to develop this self protecting shield , not allowing nasty men or people to ruin on me..call it self centred or insensitive , as i grow older , this shield gets thicker as the years goes by , so tats well most people develop strong friendship when we are much younger as we r more innocent n forgiving.
yeah... finally i m starting to feel tired , makes me normal that i can sleep.. more updates.. to be continued...