17th year of Mum's death anniversary

After a long day at work, manage to shut down n leave by 6.20pm after my email suddenly die on me.. Some communication breakdown among 2 parties and there goes my lunch but what to do.. its part of the job. so much to think it would be a smooth day today. Had to send out some last min help n help desk.. Still manage to shut it off.. Warm dinner at ah ma's had a great chat with her n sharing since the last meet up was in CNY FEB 2012 almost 6 months since I last chat up with ah ma. While ah ma was reminiscent on the past and how she raise my mum as child when she was 3yr old. n when mum passed on when shes 46 my ah ma still vividly remembers. The next thing was my ah gu whos unmarried n she was blaming herself if she did anything wrong in the past therefore uncle choose to remain golden bachelor n of coz parents do not stop worrying for kids. Her concern was if my uncle would be alone old n lonely.. As usual when she thinks of mum and how she passed on that fateful night she cant help it but start tearing away, Even the young ones falling,, crying.. n with MY.. we need to use the "scare" tactic to tame him using "nine nine would knock on your door if you misbehave" lol.. But of coz we cant comment much as the xiao bei. To remain single or not is an individual's choice , still got to respect one;s decision. Was advising ah ma, to be at this age. Old graceful, healthy and wise was more important. Able to walk freely.. mental state of mind gd. Ah ma is indeed older.. 80 yrs old this year.. Ah ma leads a healthy lifestyle of exercising daily, naps although her concentration is not so gd. She usually falls asleep while reading the news and after her cataracts operation, she tells me her sight is not as gd as before. At 79 , shes one of the fittest ah ma i seen walking steadily though the dishes she whip hasnt changed much over the years. And for many years I learnt to take things on my stride coz maybe for initial years I would tink my mum's sudden loss was a big blow to the family with no pillar. But now after many years, it has evolved. Now the pillar has an extention, life is great! as the slogan says. Not everyday is sunny. While dark clouds gather, there would be sunny days after the storm. We grown to be each other's pillar of strength and encourage each other when we are under the weather. We learnt to move on, to grow n love as well as to forgive. Now that I am going to have a new extended family with the Wangs after 13 months offically, not only i learn to accommodate other's short comings, i've learnt to accept for who they are. As human, they may not be correct always. But ppl learn n for love, since its selfless, it then comes second nature then I believe. There are new roles regenerated just like how my mum choose to be w my dad tat hes naggy, slim and blur, We learn to accept imperfections for no matter how much we plan, there are some regrets which cannot be wiped away. It then remains somewhere for scars to fade away. Its also the pain which reminds us to be strong n to stand while we fall. So after we stand up, we learn to walk steadily in the long unknown path. Many yrs many a time, we would not know how, and where we lead to. M glad I choose not to go Malacca if not I would missed the time catching up with Ah ma. Would not know hw she strives everyday productively.. wake u at 4 or 5 on a morning stroll.. power naps afternoon n her naps on sofa. She was telling me her walking khaki reduce staff strength. N in insurance industry, the mishaps, misfortunes in life reminds how lucky we are with our loved ones. On this day my mum;s special day.. Sometimes it dawns on me that mum;s early departure may b loss, but m proud to have inherited her joyfulness, cheerful positive spirit and endearing attitude to make things work.. For old people, the wants would have been diminished over the years and gets diluted. Much of their wishes would have to enjoy tian lun zhi le.. healthy n happy. Over the past 2 mths coming to 3 mths in GE, have seen n witness much sad stories. Life;s a cycle. Quoted from bro 2, while we are young, our parents take care of us and while we are older we need ppl to take care of us. N for all these years the cycle hasn changed much. N much as I welcome Sat. I hope AGum n Ayi would burry the hatchet so Ah ma wont feel so sad over the sibling fight. Over small argument family fight for too long is no good.. try to give n take a bit.. make the elders happy. Easier said than done. If Bro worm n bro 2 would talk again would b good.. amicable at least I have been grateful both the elderly. Dad n ah ma . They may not have been in the pink of health w slight imperfections. At least they could still lead normal activities. N while I m saving for the upcoming wedding.. I have tried to tell myself for this year although I have more time for studies. More $ has been apportioned for wedding.. n much as i can only bring dad to cheap n budget outings. hope by the time i m done with the housing n wedding, stil can bring dad for a short trip after settling all these tasks.. meantime no big ticket holiday.. Kopi treat.. extra pocket money movies .. gifts are the only more feasibly things to do. Well maybe we r average, at least we are happy. Although we cant stay happy all the time, we try to accommodate. Every family has its own soap opera. but this is how we continue to irritate each other n still stay together as family. family shall not forsake each other.. If mum could have seen me wear a wedding dress n have kids then it would not have been this regretful....Nevertheless we are a tough family which stays united in sharing our bills n love.. What a night.. full of thoughts after a chat w ah ma..