0705 011208

i wake up today. a sense of unknowingly force driving me to open my eyes after 5hrs of sleep. its an indecriptable sense of happiness waking up knowing a great day has arrived.
its has became a norm for me to have long hours on the phone and wake up with an average of 4-6 hours of sleep after each " bo phone porridge "session
its has never been like this before
the guniangness gets the better of me.. i cant explain and figure out y i became like that.. i was never an animal lover as well because when i play with animals after a while, my nose get all blocked and my nose doesn't feel like my nose. so what is exactly happening to me????
can it really be the underlying power of LLLOOOOOVEEEEE which will motivate someone to do things beyond their normal capacity.
trust has to be earned and gained.
i dunno y i cam put myself to entrust to someone i barely know.
i always believe in personal space,mutual respect and equality among each other.
this time i will not fall head over heels again, its time to really understand and deep understanding of this person.
we did discussed topics on kids and i cant imagine myself with kids. its just a far and imaginery thought
sometimes i wonder what if mum is around .maybe i can still bitch ard with her
marriage was never on my mind . the men before never assured me there was a future with them or we were never serious.. i was never serious enough to settle down. the responsibilies come with it is just too stressful
todays the 1st day of the working month, another 15 days to my next birthday
2008 has been really wonderful , i re read some of my entries in 06,07 and even 05 . i realized how much has gone by all these 3 years
the route of recovery has been painful but enduring
my concept of men or an ideal partner has gradually been modified
until he proves that hes s the one.. i will try not to fall deeply and out of love again.
the aftermath of the latter is phobic...
i decided not to call him early today because i wanted him to sleep a little longer since hes got the luxury to sleep on the bus today..
but if he does takes the effort to wake up without my calling me , i believe it would a positive surprise to me as well
hes really a metropolitan new age sensitive guy, someone different from the crop or at least for this moment
i really thought i will stay single as long as i could because i lost faith in the men i had before and i never think any good can or will happen to me since the worst has already been so traumatising
when i told my closer friends that i m seeing someone, they really felt happy for me because they have not seen me genuinely happy fora long time.
during gathering i m always moping around trying to avoid talking about it as well , i 've avoiding it for a while and i choose to back off from it
chances are when you are younger, you know too much and u are not daring enough to take certain risk you know u will regret.
while i m writing this entry, i am recapping all the instances that he done for the past 2 weeks .. with Corine may's love songs in the background and some birds chirping outside my window... how nice......
if only everyday was fun filled or least pleasant..
this year has been wonderful knowing new friends, going on lousy dates, kissing all the different frogs previously, i really hope all things to turn out well
i look forward to a new begining and if it permits , i will equip myself with all the necessary skills and knowledge to be one sweet lady to my panda
learn to cast away all the bad events.. n it will make me a happier and productive worker on a mon
looking forward to whats in store for my 25th birthday......
xoxoxooxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo yipeeeeee xoxoxoxoxoxooxxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoox
0759
ok he made effort to wake up...lol time for a gd shower...

301108

i realizeed i couldnt sleep well also last nite . i let out a loud shriek as i was in the midst of my sleep .. dad complained to me this morning about me las tnite...
had breakfast together @ aljunied with panda. he came over
it started raining heavily and there was a sudden thunder .. i yelped in shock when i heard a sudden loud thunder , he was laughing gleefully at me. coz the little boy next to me at the hawker centre was giggling away at me. i had to leave quietly..
erm so wang wang is a very passionate and friendly. n also a very horny dog. coz he try to lick me "somewhere" as i was wearing a pair of very short mini skirt... panda sent me to funan. met up with ms heng .. n we walked over to ps after she settle her lappie.. then we shop a little chill at macs . n i had dinner with dad. .now my nose is blocked.. hw sick,,,

291108

it was quite a sweet day
he prepared lunch .. while i played with wang wang , his jack russel .. settle down for a while n we went over to ecp for cycling
shortly he dropped me at novena. while i met up with lsb for dinner @ hk cafe
2nd round @ vivien 's place as well for hotpot while the inital plan was to play taboo together
i just took off a home kit whitening teeth mould out.. my teeth r so sensitive now. it stings a little n its numb. even the wind from the fan will make my teeth a little funny

2 nites of meeting leaving me with heavy eyebags

291108 0805
thurs nite with the east cluster meeting folks ,
dinner at tampines br was so cold and lousy.. the meeting was filled with crap informatioin .. long , boring.. had dinner ard 9 @ century sq and i only managed to reach home at 22.45

fri nite with chor sen, thomas , siew hiong and the ubi folks for project Chic. our performace has shown progress in terms of account acquisition , liabilities and service indexees, its a huge chunk of information to be digested in about 2hrs meeting
boss has preempt us of the storm ahead which will most likely plague the financial sector and especially in the sme market at least for the next 3 years . it is a disturbing effect. however the concern was if we can channel our efforts to put our resources and focus on our customer base , this would alleviate the situation
the retrenchment will continue most likely after the cny in 2009, where more business will continue to feel the heat . having said and done, we will continue to work hard for project chic and revisit our target for the breakeven .
so after the grilling and gruelling session we went forward to chomp chomp market in serangoon garden and pig out which is not exactly benefical to my sliming plan
we orderd cockles, hockien mee, satay beehoon, satay, fried oysterm all the sinful food u can think of was on the table .ahahhahahaha
we went to happy daze , a pub near the vicinity, the 7 of us discussed plans to celebrate christmas together in the branch and order food and liquour and make merry.
i ordered 1 pint of hoegarden and it felt good after the dinner to drink a bit coz the beer was chilling and soothing to the throat after a stressful week in office.
omg, boss and ubi folks were teasing me about my recent modified behaviour that i bothered to dress up a bit and i also didnt realize but there was a instant hot flush that everyone can tell i was really very embarassed @ chomp chomp.. all thanks to elena ..the salah banana who was trying to tease me.. n i had to brush it off by saying the hawker centre was a bit stuffy and the food was a bit spicy
panda was quite nice.. he came over and fetched me home coz by then , i woke up at abt 7.30am courtesy of morning call by panda.. and we met for breakfast before giong to work
fri was a battlefield, the whole day i was dealing with difficult people. i almost want to vomit blood by all the lame enquiries ever.
so i was so gladful he came by although he had to accompany his mum for spme shopping for her tailorig inventory..
i wake up today with almost 8hrs of sleep , finally i hope my eyebags are goone ... my eye lids were so heavy , i can concuss due to severe exhuastion of many nights of chatting on the phone, long meetings , short hours of rest..
today is to relax , think lesser and go cycling with panda.. hes planning to cook lunch at his place for me. n we gonna bring wang wang his jack russel for a walk in east coast n i gonna c my lsb for dinner today if not she will claim that i abandon her when i have new distraction .. hahhahahha

cluster meeting..

reached home ard 10.50pm earlier. bus 23 at tampines is sickening long. dinner was all cold .. sick. all junk
i m really tired..

說好的幸福呢

-說好的幸福呢

你的回话凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了
时间过了 走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这
真的痛了
怎么了 你累了
说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了
爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得
你不等了
说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了
放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢
你的回话凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了
时间过了 走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这
真的痛了
怎么了 你累了
说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了
爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得
你不等了
说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了
放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢
怎么了 你累了
说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了
爱淡了 梦远了
我都还记得
你不等了
说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了
放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着

tiring but enjoyable day

The Bottom Line
Your imagination knows no bounds -- come up with a plan for you and your sweetie.

In Detail
Your imagination knows no bounds right now, so it's a very good day to come up a plan for winning over your crush -- or solidifying things with your sweetie. Give it a few minutes of thought, and you'll be able to craft an unforgettably sweet and fun experience for the two of you to share. It goes without saying that dinner and a movie is out -- think about what you two like to do most and an idea is sure to pop in your head eventually. Just give it time.

i had to tip toe earlier. wat a bear all nice n soft.hehhehehehe =)
he came along , went to parkway for dinner n a ride home.. nice sleeping away in the corner while he had to be a gd ahmad .. keeping quiet
rushed like mad this morning trying reach office earlier so that he can pop by to pass me breakfast delivery

its just so nice tonite.. e flow..

Happy day

e reports were all doing great .. n i was really veri pleased with myself

I would say.. my work performance was being appreciated

i had more responsibilites n i guess the relationship with my boss improved oso coz she has more trust in me now

n i got quite a gd compliment written in . today.. i guess it made my day

does tat sound gd .. when i have to burn the next 3 days for system testing n

meetings

n well .. its been 2yrs since i had sometinf for someone but i m like lacking the courage
hahaha someting a fren told me
Lolx....smart man dont try anything funny too fast....only after awhile u'll get to see their true intentions.And whether they are realy sincere about u or they just want screw u.Tats how it is....too bad men were made tat way.Not our fault.Of course,if a sincere guy comes along,grab him or u could lose a valuable

earlier i was having dinner with a colleague.. n she had a bf who had leukemia.. jsut realize hw cheerful she was..n recently another colleague oso whose husbandpassed away due to some cancer..both of them were talking abt it.. n they started tearing in the office.. n i got a bit awkward coz i was just beside them at the cubicle. n i had to call my fren n talk gossip to pretend nt hearing abt anyting
it happened a few days ago. n just nw she gave me a lift home.i started to ask her were they discussing about her bf's conditioni started to ask her were they discussing about her bf's condition
then she mentioned she was the one whose husband just passed away started a topic on her blog n her husband when they were going thru the illness together .. n she started to tear n her voice cracking.
panda suggested a trip for me for my birthday
well when i mentioned tat i m not like her fren who jumps into bed with any guy and he starts to be defensive that we will postphone the trip first.
1 yr ago . i was a true fat gal,, i weigh a hefty 68kg for 1.65 frame , i m glad i went thru a process to a healthier sam
~ Maverick ~ says:
Oh,how did u lose it?
Samantha Sng says:
thru sheer determination man
Samantha Sng says:
n recenrtly i did someting to escalate.. i had some diet pills

panda told me tat he had a gal fren who had a relationship with tis guy in 1 week, they ended up in bed anyway when they were drunk . the gal felt sick of the whole damn episode n shortly they broke off.
Samantha Sng says:
tats y its usally unwise to know ppl in a pub or in a drunken state of mind
Mr Brightside says:
mm..
Samantha Sng says:
whe n u dun even have a common understanding
Samantha Sng says:
n then after the so called fling.. its just plain emptiness. n a sheer waste of time
Samantha Sng says:
its like a vicious cycle to fool ard.. for the sake of having it.
the bad men just love to fuck around ...
citi follks usually have a chain of intertwined and complicated short term relationship n flings
i dunno maybe i m just a litte confused n overwhelmed by the past weeks of sweetness and concern by a man
nah.. i duno maybe our family background was quite similar.. n he felt like a brotherly figure to me
but then i cant deny tat hes got a nice personality also
panda 's really a big guy . i can hide behind him

Samantha Sng said:
he was the eldest n his pa passed away when he was 17
~ Maverick ~ said:
Well,then u should let him know u view him as such...as a brotherly figure.Make it known its not possible.
Samantha Sng said:
but then i cant deny tat hes got a nice personality also

~ Maverick ~ says:
U're one confused lady eh....Well,sit down and think about what is it u really want.Think with ya head and heart.
~ Maverick ~ says:
If its wat u really want and u think he's sincere aabout u and not about getting into ya pants....then go with what ya heart feels.
Samantha Sng says:
or probabbly he hasnt won 100% my heart
Samantha Sng says:
he is one sincere guy
Samantha Sng says:
i was a bit sick last evening . so when i told him i was out with my fren in town. he offred to send me back home. n he sent me to my door no monkey business
~ Maverick ~ says:
Well,any guys can do tat.Being sincere isnt hard.
Samantha Sng says:
hes quite chubby
Samantha Sng says:
although i m nt shallow.. but i still prefer my man to have a build
~ Maverick ~ says:
He knows he's chubby and stuff and cant get a gf so easil,so he get a target,be nice to her and stuff....make it look like he's so sincere then one day u guys will end up in bed and after he gets to screw u...he stand up,say i'm done....he's got what he wanted and he'll walk off to go look for the next target and do the same thing again.

it s always a trial n error experiement. hiting the wrong or right buttons


yeah....tats how it is.

but then u cant stop loving becoz of tis just like u cant stop living although u will die one day

Yes,tats true.....u see how it goes.When u're so into one guy u dont see other guys ard who could be better.

precisely its known as selective perception n also commonly known as blinded by love


i was still thinking 2 yrs back i was still a fat gal
Samantha Sng said:
with low self worth andesteem
Samantha Sng said:
n i was with a horrible man .. who took me for granted

i m usually so composed n rational for work but when it comes to certain tings. i tink i m just a gal oso

^_^

that was my breakfast from panda..
he is just so nice.. hhhahaha i was late to meet him n he reheated the sandwich with coffee waitingfor me at my office..
i met up with lsb n tb for dinner however i was just too groggy so i asked panda to send me back together with lsb n tb
unfortunately nothing really happened . i was still waiting for him to take initiative since a gal die die also has to act expensive.
iwas too giddy to stand properly in the lift with him when he sent me up.
well well.. too bad... but i was happy he came over and sent me home coz i was not feeling too well in town
and panda just came in time to send little gal back home safely..
germ's car was crashed today.. her bonnet was all gone.. n she had a little abrasion.. n some truck crashed into her suddenly and she couldnt brake in time. wat a day..

lim kopi with lau pei on sun

tis morning i woke up at abt 0945 ready to go breakfast with ah pa
we went to eunos for his fav chicken rice. did a little shoppinh @ tampines mall and then head to bro 3 place to babysit the rascals
today i had a scare outside . a cheekor pek uncle try to press me there he almost touch my breast lor. . luckily my reflexes is fast with my weng chun martial arts aquired previously frm my ex.. he taught me a few tricks to counter .
sms pheng about it and his reply was quitefunny .
wah tml if i know who he wil get it .
n surprise breakfast delivery again. this time maybe have some sandwiches hahha

ahmad for a day

erm he came over my place to send me to work . he promised to come my place around 9 but in the end he was late at 9.15 so when i mention that i will take my bus to work then he quickly sms me that he will come in 5 min...
n the past few days was like ....
well i was being treated like a queen
n i want to continue to abuse my authority hahahahahha
i feel asleep at the sofa earlier while watching tv n then i got a few sms n then i could nt sleep
recently i took some dieting pillls n i took more coffee.tea than usual
i stopped e pills today
n i realize hw the curb of my appetite has caused i couldnt eat too much even i stopped e pills but i manage to shed like 3-4kg
Sam said:
so c. so nice to b a teacher now
Eugene said:
lol
Eugene said:
it's always good to be one
Eugene said:
depending on your motivations lah
Eugene said:
for money, then no
Sam said:
yeah unlike me
Sam said:
i should be grateful

Eugene says:

Eugene says:
you are very optimistic leh
Eugene says:
respect
Sam says:
aiya . still must eat rite
Sam says:
although i m constantly being challenged
Sam says:
and my patience being tested. with the recent cranky clients


Sam says:
ya . all naive n obedient
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Mr Brightside says:
really ar
Mr Brightside says:
i wonder how naive and obedient can u be wor
Sam says:
i had made mistakes along e way . when i was younger.
Sam says:
n for a long time i wallow in self pity n doubt myself.. so these 2 yrs had been a long way for me
Sam says:
n before i fall in any pitfall i really need somone who can be there for me

11/23/2008 12:50:18 AM Sam :)Mr Brightside:) imagine wat happens if i let u hold my hand.. or rather u
11/23/2008 12:50:23 AM Sam :)Mr Brightside:) manage to hold my hand
11/23/2008 12:50:44 AM :)Mr Brightside:) Sam mm..
11/23/2008 12:50:49 AM :)Mr Brightside:) Sam i donno?
11/23/2008 12:50:51 AM :)Mr Brightside:) Sam haha
11/23/2008 12:50:59 AM Sam :)Mr Brightside:) hahaha tats just a tot . i had
11/23/2008 12:52:01 AM :)Mr Brightside:) Sam mm.. haha mabbie shd try if u knock my hand again next time
11/23/2008 12:52:33 AM Sam :)Mr Brightside:) omg i think i have to restrain myself from doing that

Mr Brightside says:
haa
Mr Brightside says:
would u slap me in the 1st place?>
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Sam says:
if itold u i had to restrain myself wat do u tink then
Mr Brightside says:
i donno wor
Mr Brightside says:
i ish not sam
Sam says:
ok
Mr Brightside says:
so wat will u do?
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Sam says:
i got to constantly remind myself that i m a gal .
Mr Brightside says:
a gal
Mr Brightside says:
whom can slap man?
Mr Brightside says:
mm
Sam says:
who can choose to let the man hold me or slap him
Mr Brightside says:
hmp
Mr Brightside says:
okiee..
Sam says:
if i told u i like to cuddle a lot . would u believe me
Mr Brightside says:
ya..
Mr Brightside says:
end of the day
Mr Brightside says:
ya still a girl mah
Sam says:
hahahahhah ya lor . although i m sam but i m samantha
Mr Brightside says:
not sam man
Mr Brightside says:
hahaha
Mr Brightside says:
that will scares me
Mr Brightside says:
ha
Sam says:
hahahah///
Sam says:
that will shock u
Mr Brightside says:
that will shock me or
Sam says:
so next time i shall walk further away from u.. n keep my arms folded then. haha
Mr Brightside says:
lets try lor
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Mr Brightside says:
den i will knock ur hand instead
Mr Brightside says:
=)
Sam says:
n since u had to resist the urge.. aha .. i know someting new today.. hohohohohoho
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Mr Brightside says:
at least i am being honest wor
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Mr Brightside says:
at least hint u wanna knock me or not wor
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Sam says:
u didnt dare to look straight in to my eye today.. m i correct
Mr Brightside says:
wah
Mr Brightside says:
where got
Sam says:
ok next time i shall stare at u for more than 10secs to prove my assumption
Mr Brightside says:
if ya gonna stare at me for more than 10sec
Mr Brightside says:
don blame me if theres anything gonna happen
Mr Brightside says:
hahaha
Sam says:
then i shall look away then
Mr Brightside says:
haha'
Sam says:
model answer rite
Mr Brightside says:
clever gal
Sam says:
n if my date were to be a little more romantic and amusing . i tink maybe i might fall for him
Mr Brightside says:
wah someone hinting me that?
Mr Brightside says:
mm
Sam says:
well ....
Mr Brightside says:
romantic
Mr Brightside says:
mm
Mr Brightside says:
lets wait till it rain heavily
Mr Brightside says:
den i show u wat ish lomantic
Mr Brightside says:
haaaaa
Sam says:
maybe u should try to source for more ideas
Sam says:
n maybe u can ask my gd fren wat kind of trick amuses me instead
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Mr Brightside says:
i have my tricks wor
Mr Brightside says:
maybe shd ask u for a actual date wor
Sam says:
well juz nw i fell asleep while watching tv .. but then a couple of sms n sound woke up . n then i regain the state of alertness becoz of someone
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Mr Brightside says:
not because of missing that someone, u think i would sms and miss call her?
Mr Brightside says:
mm
Sam says:
mmmm makes sense...
Sam says:
valid reason..
Mr Brightside says:
haha

Mr Brightside says:
maybe u shd go bed first wor
Mr Brightside says:
i know u r super tired
Sam says:
i know i m supposed to be super tired but somewhat an overwhelming effect made me confused
Mr Brightside says:
confuse?
Sam says:
was havig a headache when i woke up
Mr Brightside says:
oh man
Mr Brightside says:
headache cause not enough sleep?
Sam says:
wanted to pop some pills again. but i tink i will just give it a pass n c hw it goes
Sam says:
i slept for abt 1 hr odd before i transfer to my bed n when i saw ur sms
Mr Brightside says:
mmm
Sam says:
e tv program had a little hypothesing effect
Mr Brightside says:
mabbie u need to cuddle some panda to sleep at night bah
Sam says:
ya maybe tat should work
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Mr Brightside says:
/me changing into pope
Sam says:
haha its not pope its po
Mr Brightside says:
lol
Mr Brightside says:
i'm pirated one mah
Mr Brightside says:
pope
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Sam says:
pirated one ah.. then gd a nt ..
Mr Brightside says:
gd as orignal wor
Sam says:
ohhh
Sam says:
so should i b glad tat i found a gd catch then
Mr Brightside says:
u shd?
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Sam says:
tat i was awake by those calls . sms
Mr Brightside says:
oh man
Mr Brightside says:
i guess the cuddle makes it up for u
Mr Brightside says:
good enough to put ya in sleep tonight
Sam says:
erm. but too bad. i only have my bolster currently
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Mr Brightside says:
teleport ar?
Mr Brightside says:
mm
Sam says:
wats teleport
Mr Brightside says:
and my bed is empty beside me
Mr Brightside says:
lol
Sam says:
ya my bed is beside my desktop whose isnt.. unless u havea study room
Sam says:
n maybe u havea giant size pooh bear as well
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Mr Brightside says:
no lar
Mr Brightside says:
no have wor
Mr Brightside says:
unless u wanna be that pooh?
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Sam says:
omg tis is certainly another side of u ..
Sam says:
haha funny man
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Mr Brightside says:
no lar
Mr Brightside says:
was toking crap
Mr Brightside says:
eh i realise i got more pikachu than pooh
Sam says:
i tink u were trying to be flirtatious
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Mr Brightside says:
haha
Mr Brightside says:
oh n
Mr Brightside says:
no
Mr Brightside says:
kanna caught
Mr Brightside says:
lol
Sam says:
oh shit i exposed u
Mr Brightside says:
u sexpose me
Mr Brightside says:
=(
Mr Brightside says:
alot mosqitoe biting me
Mr Brightside says:
darn
Sam says:
hahahahaha


i cant explain either , i 've been acting all strangely as well. somewhat abnormal . but its nice being wanted and missed .but i just cant be certain of this whole ting
n i couldnt sleep one nite.. i was so confused n the overall overwhelming effect was so irriating.
i got to be more professional n my colleagues could sense it .. i m seeing someone or i m in love

i was just recalling how funny the incident wwas when he fetched me to collect my suit after work in orchard. after we finish the errand for his mum and also mine .. its was already 3.30 n i havent had my lunch
n i was like gobbling my food away for the 5mins n he was trying nt to tlaugh coz all the eateries in orchard are packed.. n i settle for mac n i started to munch in one corner coz i ordered in impulse n i chosed takeaway..
luckily i manage to find seats in the end. if nt really stand one corner n munch on my late lunch with him and that will be super malu..
a bit paiseh coz e seat a bit too small for him n i tink the angmoh beside us oso know . so offer to give us the seat.. he mentioned another 3 min n they will be off
n he keep smiling secretly becoz of tis
coz when he turn back suddenly i alreadt ordering at the counter liao..

veri happy today..

i was happy today mainly because i got new found ahmad.. to send me breakfast.. high tea and a ride back home hahaha
he was veri sweet...
so nice..
we had ice cream @ east coast rd. he took the trouble to send me food.. so sweet.. pheng is so brotherly.. n bearly

insonmia morning

got to sleep ard 2.. realize i havent really fallen into deep sleep
was in and out of sleep quite a chilly n cold nite.
0808

dinner @ aston n coffee at starbucks

pheng fetched me from work today , we went to aston specialties for dinner. i ordered grilled fish . e fish was good., after that we went to siglap for coffee
the food was nioe @ ashton and the price was reasonable. some friends are like those u seem to have only know them for a while but it seems like you know them for a long time .
hes quite a friendly chap, i seem to put on a heavy load off me and we starting chatting like old friends
siglap 's starbucks is a cozy place to chill , its not very noisy and not stressful unnlike the branches in town
today was more peaceful compared to yesterday, totally more relaxed and he was of a good company . through the conversation, i realize how similar we were in some ways
its quite comfortable. i have a breakfast delivery coming my way @ my office .. tats quite a sweet gesture
i managed to find some work to do by packing the messy shevles at work and trying to do some inventory work .
it was an enjoyable nite out.. totally at ease..

Life's a struggle everyday but with each adversity will make a person tougher after each setback

n after meeting up with my ex colleagues in a chill out dinner session.. i feel lucky but on the other hand it also make me very cynical
maybe there r times ..u worry excessively..
theres really a lot of negative energy everywhere
its e anxiety .. everything theres a meeting.. i really get apprehensive on job stability these days
those high flyer suddenly become nobody.. i think its quite sad. reasons contribute to greed, and when a downturn came along . it was all unprepared
downside of a banker those who misell, and their clients demand compensation or they face the risk of legal actions.. omg... pitfalls..
those who been through the high time, earn a lot of $ during the robust time. splurge. indulging in the big ticket items like watches, cars, lifestyle now feel the shrunk in income, job uncertainty, the decrease in the no of rich people..
if u engage ur emotion. then if u know the client well. u have this sense of guilt. then u had a part in their portfolio as well
the many rich clientele who become less richer or worse off overnight.
n no matter hw much u dun want to bring it back home it becomes part of it.. n the worst thing was they dream abt it.. n they fear their phones ringing
i heard frm fun.. how the colleague were asked to leave. 25yrs support staff,, and someone who just hoped frm another place was also retrenched, 4 months in the job and thats it. now both the husband and wife is jobless , considering they used to lead a highlife, condolminium, fast cars and kids... how blessed i m . without kids. single and no big ticket commitment.those who remain behind.. continue to b plagued by nonsense
fun and germ were suffering from some mild depression,
on portfolio who lost millions. those who misell. n clients demand compensation and it has to be dug out from this banker's pocket.
dbs employees abt 900 ppl retrenchments. 52,000 citi staff worldwide. today latest NOL shipping line cut staff to save $200million in cost this morning 's news
to think that banking used to be so glamorous. but NOW is nothing but shit everyday
bankers who used to earn so much cringe on the expenses.
already job morale is damn low.. nothing good to look forward to
maybe its contagious.
i met my ex colleagues over dinner. n after tat.. my heart so heavy..
after the coffee / dinner listen to my ex Rm whining for a few hours until now i oso worried
those who are not in banking line rite dun understand the whole process.. shit everyday
today i sit in br. do nothing.. pack shelf , clean things.. finish work quickly , eager to just get out of office
today is a day of weird people and request ,my colleagues beside me is cursing and swearing at the lame requests she has encountered for the whole day
my head was pretty tense, full of trouble and surprises, One of the loan processing documents that i had to do on express mode was just so happened that it was not received by fax and i received quite a no of emails this morning to rectiify this screw up. i had to call someone up to coax and so called " sai nine" whine in order to pacify and expedite in order to get things done.Luckily for me the courier bag reached the processing in time , luckily solved in time. these days, there are really a lot of borrowing. increase in cards and loans, people do get really desperate and they are more nasty and demanding. there not much business. people are grouchy and times are bad. they tend to put stress on the turn around time for the approval
there are really more weird activities going on today rainy and gloomy weather outlook, people who had an unknown source of payment to them but even though they are being paid , they still doubt the source of the payment
maybe the recession has indeed caused a lot of anxiety, worry, bonkers to the consumers, customers, business around us. its like every time i pass by a store. its so empty and everyone is moping around to get day by
it is especially frenzy in the banking/financial sector, all the bank stocks , share price are not spared. people who also in this time have more continuous unreasonable requests and demands , waiver of charges is really so popular now .. when they themselves know its their responsibilities to keep certain balances. even in the wrong they also try to argue their way out.. ha ha Wat a joke
its also quite funny , its also the series of silly people or events which we also find it amusing to add to a story everyday
front line is pretty interesting when complaints come rolling in and the process of pacifying , rectifying , solving it
the continuous rain has also dampened everyone's mood and the walk in rate partly contributed to it. so are my colleagues today dying to knock off. we all want to knock off and switch off
its been a fruitful
3 yrs .. n i c hw it goes. if change is inevitable. then no choice oso
i cross over to business banking.. 5 months ago.. believe it a nt
it was a hunch that got one sifu told me to.. that i will have the opportunity and i must go for it, thank god i listened to her.. truly blessed. i didnt buy any cars. plan to get married or have kids.. blessing in disguise
for bankers who just joined in the trade without any base, gd luck to them to clear the shit of the previous ppl. so even to avoid the calls, changing handphone nos is also irresponsible to the base, especially after so many years of planning and wealth management. and how sad it is to c the wealth deplete in months of financial turmoil .if all the bankers just leave and resign like tat.. veri " bei gum wan: the base that they built over the yrs.. n the customer feel helpless and cheated.its more of a bonding establised over the years.for those who are old and illiterate its been especially unfair and shocking also
for my senior who hopped to cit offshore, it has been a rollercoaster ride in the office.. mopping all day . do nothing. receive calls n counsel worried clients.n their support staff in citi offshore aft 25 yrs.. pack everytingin a box left. got retrenched today.there was one who just joined 4 months.. left hsbc aft 7yrs go citi.. kenna retrenched also
i think i have heard and said enough for today, i just need to calm down and relax

cool mind today

my colleague called. n she asked me abt today coz she found tat i was considered emotionless n veri patient with an unreasonable colleague
actually i lun her. shes was naggin g at me n kick up a big fuss over small matter.
i didnt want to argue with her. or waste my breath
i was a buyer for some staionery. n there was a duplicate.. but i didnt know. coz she also didnt tell me before she went for her china trip and there was a cost involved. no big deal actually , the extra things still can be used only storage can be arranged.. she just want to nag at me. n i thought that she had a responsibility to hand over properly instead of pointing finger at me
my boss oso join in and nag at me n the colleague called me sort of fa xie that they are being inflexible..
i just orr .. ok all e way
n this colleague super tl with them.. coz she find them unfair n she called me to express resentment
nvm la. i already know shes like that.. shes already 40 n still single.. a bit naggy lor but no evil intention .no la. shes just like veri perfectionist. every single task must bu sui sui one.
although i bui song. but oso lan lan.. after i settle the issue. she keep quiet . keep harping it oso no use.
there is recently one colleague who took 1 month extended mc for a slipped disc. n the irony part is she had also extended her mc as well and booked tics to aust for block leave which created inconvenience coz we were shorrt handed and this colleague of mine heard from customer , she was also like that in another place.. so when we knew that a bit stunned la.. but we cannot say anyting oso. but then shes like one kind. haiz.. too bad .. not everyone can be kind.. really unkind n inconsiderate.n then the rest of them slog and had to forgone their holiday for her nonsense. i m lucky i cleared my block this month
in the end, the conclusion i console her was to save up more money , n that certain people in the team has such characteristics . really cant avoid but dun bear too much grudges not healthy. so just get on with it.
maybe my dad also nags a lot so it had provided training for me so i built a resistance for such nonsense
i have 2 meetings..2 evenings to burn.. before the haji holiday next wed n thurs .. haizz , sure veri tiring .. so have to travel.. make sure tings are done then go to the thrashing session
recession period . for the new team . many cut head count.. some coming my team. some new ones will be reduced. layed off oso
although its slowing down. still must work hard .. its tough but must go on
its gloomy but eventually this cloud will blow away
although poor but must be happy leh.. gd health is most impt dun get depressed. it gets more expensive to treat depression. there are surely cheap and entertaining methods to unwind
must prepare lor.. e worst is more to come..when i meet up with my ex colleagues tml for dinner i think i will get a better picture of the consumer market
2331

celebrating dad 's 65th birthday in advance 16/11/08

sat
hang out in town with charlene , orchard was as usual filled with a lot of shoppers.
we managed to run the few errands, returned the costumes to alice. went to dick 's beaumonde to fix the uniform,shopped .. window shop, coffee club express for dinner
since pepper lunch was eaten quite late in the evening, we had a light dinner
we chatted like old friends, lifted the weight of colleagues as compared to a normal weekday
the guarded feel towards her is lifted although i know she has a reliable source of tabloid news.
she can sound harsh but i seem to understand her in a different light altogether . i seem to learn from her .some shopping tips. insightful advice from her since shes like an elder sister
dinner was at rangon rd. fish head steamboat and dessert @ united sq. swensons. dad seems happy though
met my uncle at macpherson, hes close to 70yrs of age, but hes quite strong headed as to insist to work even after hes retrenched.today he called my dad and told him about the auntie whos developed an obessesive habit of gambling in jackpots and clubs so he wanted to preempt him from falling in to her usual tricks again. this relative is just incorrigble ,never fails to borrow and take and try to con their $ . so far she has approached most of my uncles and aunties and shes has gambled away most of her fortune. shes really getting from bad to worse. only she can help herself in her addictive gambling habits. even her own son has washed cleared of her affairs ..few years back my uncle tried to earn extra $ but collecting some used cardboard, newspapers and cans. hoewever for the price of 10kg of papercardboard , it used to be worth $18 andtoday its only worth $3 so its not worth all the trouble. he try to push my $ away when i gave him like 30 bucks n when i was young my uncle used to give us $ like $40 , $20 even though he was earning much in the factory so when he try to shove away, i used my lousy hockien and tell him he used to give me $ also and now that I have grown up and have financial independence , its ok that i give him some pocket money now also and its not a lot of money also. i believe he appreciated my token to him
the kids love the dinner and were running about in the shopping mall, united square looks atas with the different crowd out there . mostly expatriates. those mothers were dressed more immaculately, its s different class .
we had a early dinner and we settle backed home early
kids these days are difficult today..

last day of the break before returing 2 ubi br

finally on the second night of my break, thought things really clearly and thoroughly , better to make decison later to commit than to waste another 10-20k on money which can be put to better use
this morning i solve the costume error, went to the seamstress to get it fixed , as well as some of the other clothes which needed immediate attention ,as for my uniform, got to make a trip to orchard tomorrow to fix it, its $10
ok morning activities. spent some quality time trying to ammend some relationship with dad. had brunch with him, passed him the allowance, went chinatown market to shop for his fav fish there
really got to strongly influence him to stop him from helping brother worm who is an incorrigible idiot
manage to allocat the resources for the respective expenses and make a clearer point on saving more money as well as looking into the various bills to clear. finally finish paying off the debts on payday
another task was to reorganise the wardrobe and my study table
hmmn. its goin to b a gloomy year ahead.. but lets nt let it affect our cheery moods for the oncoming festival ahead. with careful plannig and spending . within a budget i m sure , we will be able to enjoy ourselves as well
as for my dad i think i m getting used to the fact that he doesnt like to solve problems, refuses to face up to reality, narrow minded , unwilling to open up , and this could be the contributing factors of not effectively communicating
which will eventually put him in a unfavourable position , being taken advantage of and being taken for granted
a fren just asked me how i gonna celebrate my 25th bdae, i tot abt it
somewhere natual .. free from computer and crowd
perhaps i can start e day with a gd workout and end it with a sumptous meal. need not be fancy restaurant. could b budget like homecooked or cheap food
with the most minimum cost involved. do i sound difficult.
n a bit of planning involved. should be able to create gd deal of ambience
i have done my part by advising and consulting dad
the mindset is more difficult to influence especially after 65 years of his post war baby thinking. .guai guai stay put and will be stable and soon soon throughout the rest of the life, and this only brings average standard of living with no extra indulgences whereas stability is the key whilst in modern century, changes are inevitable for continous improvement and progress . there are new and ambiguity in choices and decisons we make everyday, with both sides of the coin flashing , its essential to make a key and wise conclusion to avoid going the "wrong " ways
waste time, effort, youth and energy.
its about effiency, simplicity. speed and effectiveness these days , with cost cutting measures in most organisations, tighting up the belts .somehow everyone has to realize the value of money one day when theres adversity
theres this chinese saying.
qiong zhe bian tong. meaning when u r poor. u will think out of the box, every possible idea or solution to make things work , n being flexible is important in todays' context
my family and lsb visited a stall in jusco, shopping mall in malaysia selling egg cakes, this assistatnt didnt practise flexibility, she refuse to sell us cakes when theres an immediate sale, and by not be able to communicate in english , she lost a sale also and we didnt find it was nice as well
chinatowm market which i visited earlier is a lot cleaner than compared 5-10years ago
changes a lot. but for the better although inital it will cause a bit of slight discomfort for everyone because everyone is so used to the convenience and the familarity

rainy nite ...

realize how life is. vulnerable and fragile. the rich and the poor was having this conversation with lsb. bro worm episode continues to haunt the family.
i think its just how we can effectively solve this issue
everyone 's got problem
the poor
no money to get material needs but might lack other things like time, love from family
the rich
have all the money but also lack time, but have poor health
so not everytime we get what we want, but we just to be contented if not we end up unhappy with ourselves
my conclusion is i m still half hearted for further studies so i will just take my time to decide
its never easy .
anway i manage to complete the tasks assigned to myself
facial, manicure, massage, foot spa
it was a rainy day suddenly..
lsb waited for me for about 30 mins , she could have found herself some food but she didnt ...
we had a long chat again at the neighbourhood. she was telling me about her gd old days
how time flies , been 12 years . our friendship
she was offering me advice on how to solve some domestic issues that i have currently since shes quite experienced
bottom line is there are many ways to solve it. hope there is a best method to settle it ...

first day of the break

started off a gd start , i woke up ard 8.45am after sleeping in early last night at 10 plus
first thing on the list.
dental treatment. facial
yum cha with joanna / swimming
i read a couple of the dating guides earlier to gain and seek a better understanding
after a while , i managed to pick uo some useful tips
online dating after a while becomes quite acceptable afterall, besides there are a lot of weird people out there . so as a matter of precaution , its essential to prescreen the candidates to " sound " them out to avoid unnecessary trouble brought upon myself

????

pondering whether to get back to the route of part time studies .
it can be so difficult to make a choice
to ensure and to promise myself i have to complete it , no more retakes and failures
after each failure, hopes of getting and completing it is like so bleak
and after the sharing session which lsb commented on pak's path. i am so half hearted now. well have to get to the school for more information and evaluated if i m up to it yet. or i still need a break from academic activities
nothing is ever easy also. to get some thing done within the constraints is a tough challenge to myself.
papa boss has displayed a low eq on sat . he was so auntie and he was not being nice sales staff, bargaining for discount when he did nt genuinely wanted to rent the costume with them . he was the one who insisted to get to the shop. it an atas shop offering premium prices for the exqusite costumes
another incident which shocked us was when one of the colleague presented him the parker pen as his birthday presesnt, he asked if he can return the gift and asked if theres gold stil lcan exchange for money. that was not acceptable reacton after one of them spent 4 nights trying to get something for him as a token, and everyone chip in $12 for the gift
gem award winner.. best compliments. always labeled as a patient , cool and understanding boss. however such behavior is contradictory, its often difficult to discern the truth when we have been working together for the past 5 months
another one more day will be clearing leave.. how nice..

its humid and hot... i cant sleep

it must be the old town coffee.i m still not sleepy. its quite humid and i managed to read finish a novel by erica lee .
went over to sk for sushi lunch. auntie may made some tortilla and red bean soup m healthy cut fruits.
the novel was a gifted art student (violet)who knew a guy online through the interative forumn , while she was checking her grades online if she qualify for scholarship, it eventually developed into a relationship between 2 people.it started from a greeting , then to a sharing and emotionally enaged with the spirtual support given to each other. It became a source of emotional support and dependence for the both of them
She used to be someone whos an IT idiot and her housemate was her ex boyfriend who eventually had a change of heart and she thought of using her ex 's lap top to check her grades online. unfortunately when she received news of her scholarhsip , there was no one to share her joy so so chatted and interacted with a guy in the school forum.
She went to rome to further study and with the same lap, she managed to keep in contact with the guy.
turns to be a series of events. n eventually they were together after they found out that in reality they were meant for each other.
The guy was in a forumn because he was waiting for a gal, angel to reappear in his life after she left him suddenly and he was still waiting for her
angel was also a art student but she developed a disease which caused her to be blind and the reason she left him is due to the fact that the physical disability has caused a drift between them n being also an artist , she couldnt appreciate the guy's art works and paintings snd by not be able to step into his world , it reminded her more of her handicap and she couldnt take it so she had a life on her own with someone else.
so it was a online relationship which developed into something more. 2 individuals who were finding love and waiting to find someone who they can relate to and be happy with each other's company , sharing the same values
its quite a romantic plot and the writer used to write songs / scripts for movies and dramas.
she has this unconvention twist which entices the reader to be intrigued with the sequence of the storyline. i was very eager to know the ending and was enjoying the process of reading the romance novel.
its like visualising the scenes in the head
in modern society , with internet conveniently available , online dating has increasingly becoming more common and acceptable and is also a source of networking tool for young adults to interact .
However despite the enhanced features , human touch and interaction is also as important
the anoymity and the potential likehood of dubious characters is prevalent as more weird people also join in the league.
the novel's first sentence was that the writer commented that she felt that people who are always online are lonely people. maybe yes and no .. time to sleep 0152

quite a day ... for me 081108

started off the day as usual at 8, however today i woke up earlier 7.45am on auto mode despite sleeping only for 5 hours. started the day really smoothly. finishing work on target.
spent about 3hours with the ubi gang . helped papa roland on his tail coat, little lily on her hot corset set and hot mama lili 's little sexy suit.
halfway the trip, lily was on a heated conversation from a distance with her boy friend, which is believed to be triggered by the malaysia trip which she planned with a group of friends to malaysia. so she burst into tears in one corner
so we had to act blur. my papa boss, shawn and tina.. got to chat among ourselves while she went to wipe her tears , this took about 1 hr and the kopitiam at joo chiat is so stuffy
we set off to haji lane n i collected my dress for the moulin rouge theme next friday for the masquerade theme
everyone got their desired costumes although it took us almost half a day at the "atas" shop in joo chiat as well as " masequerade "
i choosed a gothic lolitha inspired black dress which will accentuates my bust line .. n hopefully make the boobies more outstanding and the party will be a most enjoyable one coz i believe i have mellowed in miserable and negative energy for way too long
conclusion from a uni mate's dinner gathering
A player will always find excuses to cheat
mostly the man who cheat will find ways to cover for their evil deeds so why should women waste time and youth on them in the first place
its nov 9 today and then after a while , i managed to figure out on certain issues and how to analyse , think through, and remain calmer in some instances
it didnt take long for me to figure out the root of her misery and i manage to inject some logical deduction to the troubled gal.
being overly emotional can be of a great source of misery caused to personal mental stress.
a woman's sense of self worth is important and if the equilibrium is not achieved it can bring along a series of implications and unnecessary unhappiness
bitterness accumulated only lead to nowhere constructive besides maintaining positive outlook in urself is equally as challenging
commitment phobia is a common term or phenomenon happening with the swininging singles.
fear of commitment or the inability to stay faithful to the "one"
some women hang closely in their standard set of principles and ego , only to be causing major implications and tension with their partner.
women r capricious and emotional and the more they are , chances are the more difficult they can be to pacify...
i seen some of the pretty chicks who i know. maybe pretty women do have certain advantage than the not so pretty ones.
it becomes acceptable for them to whine and get what they want eventually and the poor man has to bear with the behavior
i witness on women who are stubborn, wilful, headstrong , and really bad tempered ones. afterall being human, there is only so much a person can bear with for the nonsense behaviour displayed.sometimes i cant stand such attitude personally also , sometimes i warn myself to prevent myself from becoming like her
live simply.. happily and fruitfully
there is so much more than finding the one and settling contentedly
time to head for bed.. 0353 091108

a spanish film which was so bloody idiotic

it gets in to me.. i realize.. i had a bad day. .n tis guy was so overly concerned tat i wanted to just leave , but then i just put on a smile ... its a chore man
by obliging , i really dunno if i m doing the right thing but then hes a nice person
my patience is really begining to wear off n the questions i have in my head is like m i wasting my time out here with someone's company who i dun really quite enjoy in the first place
i had people telling me again n again on certain agenda in my scope of work and today i typed out my resignation letter dated 31december 08, to be ending on 31jan2009 and i dunno whether this will really come true ?
i saved it in my email draft column
somehow i realize how stressful it can be if imposed on the same treatment vice versa.
i watched a shaky movie . seated at the first 3 rows ,after 1 hr i had this nauseous feeling building up gradually while i m out on date with someone who i seriously got to reconsider for the second date out.
towards the end of the movie after some gory and unsightly wounds and scene it just makes me more disgusted , and i had this tingly sensation to rush to the loo as the effect of the diet pills start to act on me
n he started to blabber on further, i had the impulse to leave immediately but as a form of respect i still maange to stay on
when hwee leng called me today to sound me out. i tink i rattle on and bursted out ranting on the challenges i had on the ground. in fact maybe its also probabbly the first time after 4 months when expectation of other ppl imposed on me gets higher and tougher.
when sometimes u really got to pull urself and tell urself and console with every smile that you can muster.. each and everyday will get better and better with each day
despite the fact . everyday is indeed a challenge ahead
cynical ... by the people i meet recently . i just like to put this episode behind of me .. drown myself in deep sleep and wake up fresh next day
the effect and side effects of socialising.. being at ease in my little room has became a secondary source of happiness and peace
the burining sensation of the pills acts up. my adrenalin pumps higher , faster , i had an increased dosage of the medication and this keeps me wide awake and restless at this wee hours

Ivy's last day with JS..

its been a night, and over the weekend , i did some shopping in amk hub . went out to socialise and had diiner with may , elephant and ivy. when it comes to socialising, i guess i am more lazy and becoming more selectively these days , its becoming a chore to get to know someone.go on dinner , and chat on some lousy topics which u might find it so boring to even begin with . i have to convince myself to go on events which i initallywould have thought that it wont turn out good

another week to sorting through

there are so many choices available , after failing badly with UOL i think its time to re-route on the next better options available

List of things to cover and completed on 12/11/08 -14/11/08
12/11/08
dental visit for the teeth mould
whitening for the teeth
facial with pinky
massage with True spa. should try the hot stone massage this time

13/11/08
enrolment with SIM
shopping with dad

14/11/08
lunch with lsb n yp
Manicure/pedicure
BB DnD

the theme for bb emb 1 for me is moulin rouge , n everyone is supposed to dress and turn up in costumes . which we got to go for the fitting in masquerade.. the cost is bore by boss haha. and since the theme is moulin i suppose i got to dress in skimpy and sluttish lookalike attire

and i got 1 week to sort through
what i really really want ...

F1 28/09/08

1998--2008
the first class pic was in 1998 when we were in pei dao secondary school class 3E2. after O levels in 1999, we most probabbly had a bbq gathering in yr 2000 which we were 17 that year after results. I remember this picture because it was the first gathering we had. There were a total of 14 of us in the picture and the gradually the group got smaller because some of us went on further studies to aust.. ie martin. people who got married and had kids . some were busy with work and family commitments and so forth , eventually the latest gathering in suntec . azabo sabu was only 4 of us, maureen, qinpei nelly and myself. omg
10yrs has just passed , just like that some with kids.. n maureen is planning a 10yr celebration in 2009 to mark the 10th anniversary of our O level graduation. the theme is to dress in our old school uniform "if " we still have it and still can wear. if not the attire is white shirt and brown bottom
the updates are classmates having 2nd kids to come because of the recent baby bonus by the government, friends staying PR in australia , getting their masters.. and some who got married recently .. getting attached , having other change in career path and so forth. friends who completed their studies .
the next 10yrs to come. i will be 35 so when i update this. will any of the above mentioned fall under my category. hopefully i start my own little family or if not worse scenario, i might still be having fun out there on my own
i just attended a company event again at centre south. watching the f1 at 32th using the binoculars.. 61 laps .. so exciting!!
i tried on maureen's sister's sec uniform
realize how kuku.. everyone looks in school uniform.. the school uniform is ugly compared to the ones overseas
when the back to school theme dnd , i want to snap shots of other colleagues coz some r wearing their JC uniform, sec..hahahahh
n ex peidarians in their defunct uniform. how hilarious it will be when everyone tries to squeeze into the tiny mini wear 10yrs ago
many things change overnite. those idealistic thinking that i had are no longer valid in this yr's context
even the people in the pictures change by character, perseonal strength and growth and their lifecycle
the age of progress continue to haunt us in a place we stay in singapore . to continously improve and excel and upgrade
like it a not. the reality of inflation, paper chase is so contagious.
i happen to check on the jobstreet and the minimum eligibility for a position these days is a bachelor , the value of a diploma is depreciating and many years later maybe masters n above is considered average tertially education over here.
during my recent trip to ipoh, and the kampung lunch over there. i realize how fast pace , how things work and function so differently. we dont even have time to stop and take a breather we continue to slog n slog each day.
the mountains there are so relaxing and the morning breeze is so fresh in chemor. i miss the hor fun there suddenly and how we form table outside the kampung house. eating while the chickens are at a corner ... chirping away
there were about 15 of us in this little table trying to snatch food from one another and the host shouts to the mother whos busy preparing food for the guest..
Oeeiii .. AH ma. no more food.. the rice bowl is empty..!!
n then lai lai lai.. more rice and more homecooked hakka dishes is brought to this table .its been 14days since i came back from chemor. i still remember the heartwarming moment when the mother sends the bride out to the door and silently sheds a tear earlier this afternoon, i attended this soka gathering at senja road. the testimonals by these 2 devotees are so genuine and touching
one of the member had breast cancer and she was determined to fight against it
she was very strong mentally and very cheerful in personality despite the chemotherapy and the lethal side effects. it did not deter her from conquring all the odds to now since she was diagnosed 3 months ago
she wanted to watch her daughter grow up , shes quite young only 36 this year
through her faith in her religion, she found a newly her.
there was a time that she almost gave up. and was pessimistic and depressed . however her co- members help her spirtually by chanting faithfully through her down period.although i was not veri keen on soka , even then i was quite touched by their video and testimonials that they shared.
they call it the bad kharma.. i never really had been a religious budhist for a start . i go to temple occasionally or when i need a pillar to lean on when i m a bit tired to go on further.
my bro's baby son got hospitalised in kk due to some reasons n my dad got to go over to babysit the elder naughty boy.. its been a difficult period and everytime moi jan will cry at night because shes too worried and then my bro will get stressed that his wife is behaving like that when she cant handle all the stress. running all over home n hospital to care for a sick child.
tomorrow will be better day with more good things coming my way.
0134 290908

Turning pt @ 25

after much consideration, i pluck up all courage to face my fears that i tell myself i will not be staying in the banking industry by year 2009. it will then be a turning point for as as i switch industry to tourism

160908 Back from Chemor

its been a long ride back home 8hrs to n back from ipoh. perak
The 3D2N short tour has brought me new exposure on the lives of many average or the kampung type of living standards.
on how simple , and the definition of happiness mean to many different people out there
the pace is indeed slower and relaxed as we wake up every morning and hear birds chirping, dogs barking i the neighbourhood and the the light breeze while we stay near the mountains.
while i was on the bus back then, i was sorting out all the possible plans i could have if i have given up on further studies.
both Ivy and shanty s' wedding had a distint and unique touch to their style and the formality

realize i didntwrite for a long time 220808 1656hrs

i been in this little dark tunnel recently which i have been so unsure of myself. whether the things that i ve done so far are worth doing it
luckily i got a few friends who manage to knock my sense to me
life is about ups n down. sometimes u gain,sometimes u lose. my negativity energy seems to be growing more these days with the up pent apprehension i faced with work , coming results and the "investment" done so far with UOL.
so much about the past abusive spending habits. time to cut down on certain extravagances , living humbly and simply , luckily this short term pauperness is going to last for a few months till i clear off my " little debt"
most people are spending more wisely than before since this is the downturn of the economy , even earning as a middle class income with post secondary education doesnt really help.i can literally feel the pinch as prices of food and other goods and services goes up . afterall the government can only subsidise or help to a certain level.
a little update on the little 2008 bejing olympics. the singapore won a silver medal earlier on last sun on 17/8/08 against china n korea.. and is looking forward to a bronze medal again this weekend on sun.. although they are foriegn talents frm china. we respect their passion and professionalism towards the sports , certain sacrfices in terms of personal life , family to be in singapore , leaving their home ground.. although also for a different reason for more prospects instead of remaining on whereby there are fewer opportunities due to the many even more talented atheletes and competitors out there in the home ground.table tennis female team.. yeah ! i was watching this little video clip with li jia wei and feng tian wei.. realize how not easy this professional athelete path was to be.. especially when everyone pinning on high hopes on you , as well as the coach and the whole nation. sounds to me a huge level of stress level. with all the training to bag an award back especially playing against world no one when this person used to be ur training mate in your younger days.
i was reading about the world no 1. zhang yin nin whereby she joined this military team while they have to march and train as early as 6am to train depsite the snow.
i just gone through some friendster pics and and within 2.5yrs , a lot of things changed , one of my ex colleague whom i know who was very skeptical about marriage and kids is now wonderfully married earlier in april and is now happily expecting her first child on her way .. wow.. its good news ..
despite the efforts to promote birth rates among married couples as well as encouraging swinging singles to meet other individuals and to settle down, its afterall quite a personal decision. some people might never get to know that special someone in their lifetime , n seriously i met some of my clients who are rich happy but lonely maybe . or they find other priorities more important than setting up a family of their own
between the group of already married, attached friends .. and the other single, still looking and dating around. well these 2 groups share different ideals on how they want to lead themselves and their goals .
theres always pros and cons being happily married , with kids and family verses an independent , free spirited single.. both of these groups have in common, they are enjoying this little stage of their lifecycle.. either with option A or B
and while i m blogging i m also having this msn chat with a girl friend of mine who has never dated, and her conclusion, she wont follow the government agenda blindly until she found the right person to date with and settle with, on yeah shes still believe in true love.. haha
while i wast trying to sort out all the little mind bugging thoughts of mine, i was behaving a little less sociable than usual.
back to reality is to save up . hopefully cut on the possible expenses and to get by..
another 2 weeks to know the verdictwhether the yr 2007 academic year was properly utilised or yet another round of setback, and later on theres another social function with my new group of colleagues .. jiak together for our get together session..
since july 1 2008 n meeting them on 23/6/08 these 2 months have come and go and we have a better understanding of this new group of co-workers .. its like knowing them again in a deeper level on each other's expectations, etc working habits and certain characteristics which we found out gradually
although is my off day and originally i had a dinner outing with a friend but had to postphone due to the priority of the first jiak dinner gathering with my colleagues
we have staggered lunch hours as such normally we dont have the luxury of gossipping on the latest news together or have 12-2 lunch hours like the ones in headoffice people do. so no choice, we are the front liners and we accept certain opportunity costs in order to be on operating function.
and besides i was on the verge of finding another more suitable position rather the current one but due to certain chain of events , this has to be put aside for my priorities like $.. prospects or developing can come later. have to solve the major event on my bank loan.. clear it n pass exams n be a happy girl once again. n plannning to spend wisely as well.. its quite a bitter lesson learnt about the chain of point of no return but to be more discplined next time
bankingline can be quite regimental and realistic,sometimes i find some of the borrowing policies towards customers. criteria too rigid for lower income group especially in approval of some loans.. usually as an organisation, its to the interest to the company not to the consumer.sad but true. however the operations is more of doing things the same everyday but different events happening everyday as a front liner
todays a friday. and outside is raining cats and dogs since 3pm.. drizzling and pouring. although it might seem as good idea to curl up at home watching table tennis or the telly .. might as well use this opportunity to mingle with the ubians instead.1745

i came back frm the makan , jiak dinner and the drinking session , n one of the colleagues XXX advised me to be more proactive as a word of kind advice to me becoz they have seen and compared other staff from other places and they tend to make comparisons. its a good chance for me to improve on
her boyfriend came over the club and i manage to hitch a ride from her
and after a good dinner with the ubians and some silly games. its like a wind down from boring ubi. where the food is not so fantastic. i dont want to term it as lousy as it will demoralise me all over again.. tml linda will talk to me maybee its someting about work.. thomoas comments that i m too serious even when i m playing . its the kind the image that you want to maintain when you are out in a gathering with your bosses..maybe the part of me expecting my results and $ is making me seemingly like a person whos like a block even on outing. i was dragging myself out of the house to attend the gathering. i enjoyed the session. the drinks did loosen me out a little n the silly jokes thomas cracked.
0143 230808

2 off days 12/08/08-13/08/08

today is my second consecutive off day and after much cordination with the inital contact with the plumber, maintainence and town council we managed to get an experienced plumber with the town council and after much discussion, we managed to find the root of the problem to the blockage of the flush system.
one of my shorts and a clothes peg was stuck on one of the pipes which then have to be sawed and taken out.
so this is the time whereby the people who are not inclined in technical field are most disadvantaged.
afterall people who are in the white collar field would not know how to deal with a leaking tape, spoilt toilet bowl, this type of expenses cannot be avoided one for sure, but at least a spoilt toilet bowl is quite a hazard also. now settled in case if one of the family member has serious diahorrea , it wont pose as another form of problem .
8/8/08 marks the beijing olympics hosted in asian country, the swimmers broke the world record and michael phelps was the talk of the show in channel 5 , hes only 23 but he has won numerous gold medals for the 2008 olympics
the locals who competed are part time atheletes unlike other countries whereby they train from young and is doing it full time professionally.
i did i seriously did put on more weight during the weekend trip, time to get more strict with my diet..

back to work on 040808 2217

after one month in eb. things have started to be turning more rosy except occasional debates on the style of resolving conflicts
there is still a lot of room for improvement and international trade remains quite an interesting aspect with eb

030808 1028

i finally found courage to @#*&$%^ that irritating neighbour who lives directly above my unit
today is sun.. ur kid has been screaming for months. i will report to police if u continue to cry like that everyday .. u understand !
strangely my idiotic neighbour answered back .. understand
had planned to sleep through breakfast. nevetheless// however still spoilt
but last nite's family dinner was fun with the kids
had initally planned to sleep through lunch. haiz
latest update on some frens..
frens getting married
frens planning a no 2 in their family
frens preparing to get married
n myself still in the stage of carving out my career
at least by 2013. to lead a little team of my own. rank frm mangager 7- avp.
the trend is most BH- business heads r mainly singles . married to their job
i heard of one guy who s yr 70, wakes up at 5 to go for gym . take extreme good care of himself and after the gym reach office by 7 to start work. that is a bit good"
speechless..

relax day 020808 2329

nice day went for a good massage after one month of struggling in ubi and then a nice foot spa.
followed by hans in town with the monkeys & my family

red bomb 020808 0017

catching up with shanty. nelly . madam lim and puihong @ the soup spoon in town was an enjoyable session. nothing beats having dinner with a bunch of close frens instead of complete strangers when you go on a date with a guy or rahter potential candidate