0705 011208

i wake up today. a sense of unknowingly force driving me to open my eyes after 5hrs of sleep. its an indecriptable sense of happiness waking up knowing a great day has arrived.
its has became a norm for me to have long hours on the phone and wake up with an average of 4-6 hours of sleep after each " bo phone porridge "session
its has never been like this before
the guniangness gets the better of me.. i cant explain and figure out y i became like that.. i was never an animal lover as well because when i play with animals after a while, my nose get all blocked and my nose doesn't feel like my nose. so what is exactly happening to me????
can it really be the underlying power of LLLOOOOOVEEEEE which will motivate someone to do things beyond their normal capacity.
trust has to be earned and gained.
i dunno y i cam put myself to entrust to someone i barely know.
i always believe in personal space,mutual respect and equality among each other.
this time i will not fall head over heels again, its time to really understand and deep understanding of this person.
we did discussed topics on kids and i cant imagine myself with kids. its just a far and imaginery thought
sometimes i wonder what if mum is around .maybe i can still bitch ard with her
marriage was never on my mind . the men before never assured me there was a future with them or we were never serious.. i was never serious enough to settle down. the responsibilies come with it is just too stressful
todays the 1st day of the working month, another 15 days to my next birthday
2008 has been really wonderful , i re read some of my entries in 06,07 and even 05 . i realized how much has gone by all these 3 years
the route of recovery has been painful but enduring
my concept of men or an ideal partner has gradually been modified
until he proves that hes s the one.. i will try not to fall deeply and out of love again.
the aftermath of the latter is phobic...
i decided not to call him early today because i wanted him to sleep a little longer since hes got the luxury to sleep on the bus today..
but if he does takes the effort to wake up without my calling me , i believe it would a positive surprise to me as well
hes really a metropolitan new age sensitive guy, someone different from the crop or at least for this moment
i really thought i will stay single as long as i could because i lost faith in the men i had before and i never think any good can or will happen to me since the worst has already been so traumatising
when i told my closer friends that i m seeing someone, they really felt happy for me because they have not seen me genuinely happy fora long time.
during gathering i m always moping around trying to avoid talking about it as well , i 've avoiding it for a while and i choose to back off from it
chances are when you are younger, you know too much and u are not daring enough to take certain risk you know u will regret.
while i m writing this entry, i am recapping all the instances that he done for the past 2 weeks .. with Corine may's love songs in the background and some birds chirping outside my window... how nice......
if only everyday was fun filled or least pleasant..
this year has been wonderful knowing new friends, going on lousy dates, kissing all the different frogs previously, i really hope all things to turn out well
i look forward to a new begining and if it permits , i will equip myself with all the necessary skills and knowledge to be one sweet lady to my panda
learn to cast away all the bad events.. n it will make me a happier and productive worker on a mon
looking forward to whats in store for my 25th birthday......
xoxoxooxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo yipeeeeee xoxoxoxoxoxooxxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoox
0759
ok he made effort to wake up...lol time for a gd shower...