fumming nite

location : homebed room 0140hrs
its been all but enjoyable evening for me.
which comes as a twist aft a yelling epsiode with him on the phone on the ride back. i been thinking a lot more these days. is he really a guy i can rely on in the long run.i had naively n foolishly thought that i can accept what ever flaws i see in him as being a complement to me.
but till last night..tings changed.. i thought that hes just simply obsessed with his games , but he doesn t see the point to a respect to a lady that yelling on the phone or slaming it while i didnt even manage to finish my sentence .so how tis episode keep rolling in my head n i find it difficult to erase it off my head .. its ticking 0149hrs n aft whining to huiru. i still find it tough to chew it off my head
10/5/2009 1:38:22 AM ♠ ♥ n e o n τ e τ r a ♣ ♦ Sammie you are low maintanence on material but high maintainence on emotional
this few months. i always felt like a second best item besides magic cardsfor him , outings got to be postphonen my capacity to acoomodate gets higher threshold n his patience for me lesser n so i towards him
i was thinking long in my head. would i then in future got to shoulder all the housework on my own while he sets his mind on the game set n his game totally ignoring of my physical self, n at end of it i stop harping n whining about this realistic fact that all the hard core gamers r all like tat
they r disillusional and obsessed in the gaming world . n no amount of housework or other errands can supecede the former.secondly if we were to start a family , would he then again put his gaming khakis above the rest again?i cant help it but be cynical with my own judgement once again. if i took a wise chance to start a relationship with a gamer. someone i dun usually associate myself with .

its time to think through thoroughly. i need to stop n chuck it. its a brand new week for work. new month . new targets to work on. even aft he apoloogised . i m upset on wats been going on . a relationship tat works out fine doesnt only depends on the input . its oso the output from e other person
m i really unreasonable as what huiru comments, or was i simply just dumb enough to take in watever crap was thrown to me unknowingly.tati shldnt even have offered myseld to my own expense.
have i been tolerating too much that ican normally absorb to the point tat when i blow up tats it. tat i m starting to think that i m taken for granted . threshold for patience gets thiner n before i knew it. i lose it esp whe n ppl provoke me . n i so game on it. tat my tolerance against threats n abuse just gets diminishing in effect . n to the pt when i m numbor when i simple canttake it anymore i shut system n refuse to acknowlege more...theres just too many things running along my head. head heavy time to slee[=[ 0209hrs