after the catch up w tb.

well.. everything happens for a reason.
solutions and back up plan has been put aside .. The domestic issues has been bugging me for a while so while i revise, it has been toiling me. Marriage to me means nothing more to get out of the house. which ever it is . I hope when Dad's $ is depleted after "helping" e others . he wouldnt be thrown ard like a ball n thats the fearful factor which i hope it would not happen.
very soon Geylang Babru blk 96 would be history and the veri table i m sitting at now would be discarded and the original house would most likely be cosmetic renovated by the indian spr buyer.
till this day my Dad still holds some trump card.. part of the reason, A.may refuse to let my dad touch his profits to support my studies. which i tink i would just let it be .
After all i would set up my family ..get my own house n commitment.
If one day the $ gets spilted n due to the bad blood between bro 1 n 2.. that leaves me w bro 3 n joanna n so be it ..
I have foreseen the circumstances .. & i would be mentally strong to accept it ..Everyone thinks for themselves. The value of kinship is veri small to me now.
If one day I should be homeless , i believe there would also be other people there to lend me a hand. people like Joanna who s willing to take me in..
wataspp bro 3 from kuching n he thinks i tink too much.. But then realistically its happening... bro 3 even mentioned he finds its a constraint w 2 kids 1 maid car n house to support. n bro 2 has higher commitments than that. so w me out of the picture. i guess it just relieve him some of the burden.. before our relationship turn sour n we refuse to talk to each other in the house. i rather it maintains like a weekend sibling affair.. coz i dun want to argue or fight unnecessarily due to our differences. 10 yrs ago we had issues staying together.. now come 2011 10 yrs later. we still have issues irreconcilable differences. Its mentally challenging to wake up at 6.45 in the morning to travel that long, n after a long day to face domestic issues at home.. my own port of clientele gives me considerable amount of stress as well as assignments. if family oso is a source of issues, i wonder how long i can gain my cool in the wooden house.
eventually when the $ is depleted. i believe the true colors of the true self will eventually emerge n those involved just becomes another cost element in the picture so before it becomes into this kind of situation, its then better to make some precautions. I m merely protecting myself. n by not just rushing into marriage or thinking that marriage solves such issues could possible salvage the situation. What i m thinking of now is bro 2 needs $ n dad 's $ came just like a contingency plan just in case tings crops up like either of them unemployed or simply no one to fetch the kids. so with me around a not , its secondary. and the reason y i m relocated is just because i tag along coz i m homeless in fact. N i dun think i m pitiful, while bro 3 comments my plight is.. I tell myself. this 9 months it would be over soon. n veri soon i would climb my way up n see the light after the tunnel n those who have scorned me or give me the wet bucket would jolly well c w their own eyes hw i will succeed and get this bloody cert. n with my own capability , i would stand strong and overcome the current obstacles n stand on my own feet without despising or demeaning my own confidence. bro 2 is riding the fact that i have not much choice due to my study commitment, n the veri fact i wont settle just to settle. what other people are doing may be just doing the flow or wats best thing for them now. $ will be my driving factor n it would be my motivation to pay off the $11,984 loan from RHB. it would be the determining factor to result in my future failure or success.
I hope that my domestic affairs would not affect my academic or work performance although i know i m disappointed by some of the prevalent events which prove me just right. Some things cannot be pushed. it would happen while there are some events which are within my control .
whatever it is . i hope for the best.
always a optimistic person at heart.
if only mum was around, perhaps things would be much different from now. unfortunately things dun happen your way all the time. no wrong to have some of the nonsense event n some adversity. it just toughens me more. n more time to belittle or to despair only more time to look forward. n when i did it. it will prove that i done it. n i can give myself some credit to it... 0056 18022011. 1 day to LM305 n 2 days to LM 200 international marketing n marketing behavior.. at least a credit... nt a pass to justify $2996 per sem.. inclusive of gst..