e UOL building in front of me still looks as hazey as ever
blogging while my colleague is having lunch
crowd seems pretty ok.
seems like e weather is affecting retailing business as well.. n the bank operates like a retail shop sometimes execept tat it deals with financial products
Monday, October 16, 2006
Sunday, October 15, 2006
1010 151006
its been a good gathering with the elders..
u realized tat u r grown up while ur seniors have aged.. e kids who were babies r now running wild in the garden
my sister in law, may has a huge extended family , out or personal obligation had to help her sister fix a place for her wedding.. back then shes only 19 , i know her when i was 15. now shes 27 n getting married in 2 days time..
its a overwhelming effect when e house is packed with people with nice aroma , smell of food n bbq smoke , e ambience is totally warming.
while driving , my bro discussed the stages of relationship n the art of keeping it alive n oso e passion with ur partner.. its like a long path frm knowing to understanding , planning n sustaining.. certainly takes 2 to make all this work.
somehow.. i tink i have done too much.. it seems tat even without me he can cope pretty well so i should just steer clear .. m i attracting attention.. seriously i dun tink i m... love is never fair .. some party has to give in more or accomodate more.. if tats e case , i rather nt put in tat effort.. an effort tats nt reciprocated .. rather insulting... maybe we r too different... should jsut leave him alone ... since he can cope so well ... y should i bother with another person whos nt interested , it would b a complete waste of my effort n time . i shouldnt stoop myself tat low.. after a while if tat person continues tis way persistently.. sometinf is wrong...its just nt the way to behave like tis.. any other gal would have reacted e same...
fine......
enough is enough.
i give up..
if hes nt worth the effort, trash it...
tell myself i can b a heartless bitch myself who couldnt care less of wats going on except on myself...
tats wat i m going to do..
n i trust myself i definitely can be one
sick of being some transparent element
tired of taking the lead
disappointed with some outcomes
just let it b..
arrange for more work
switch off my handphone sometimes
make myself incontactable
since i m taken so lightly.. it so mad n its just nt polite to ignore or nt return calls.
y should i make myself so conveniently located
KNN.. its so bloodly unfair..
i keep quiet. i m tying to c how he behaves .. but i m disappointed sometimes... i dun mention it. tat doesnt mean i m fine..
taken for granted.... everyting changes
do i look like someone who will be easily manipulated.. no way... !!!
since he has stired up the fire n made me so mad ...
lets play e waiting game man...
u realized tat u r grown up while ur seniors have aged.. e kids who were babies r now running wild in the garden
my sister in law, may has a huge extended family , out or personal obligation had to help her sister fix a place for her wedding.. back then shes only 19 , i know her when i was 15. now shes 27 n getting married in 2 days time..
its a overwhelming effect when e house is packed with people with nice aroma , smell of food n bbq smoke , e ambience is totally warming.
while driving , my bro discussed the stages of relationship n the art of keeping it alive n oso e passion with ur partner.. its like a long path frm knowing to understanding , planning n sustaining.. certainly takes 2 to make all this work.
somehow.. i tink i have done too much.. it seems tat even without me he can cope pretty well so i should just steer clear .. m i attracting attention.. seriously i dun tink i m... love is never fair .. some party has to give in more or accomodate more.. if tats e case , i rather nt put in tat effort.. an effort tats nt reciprocated .. rather insulting... maybe we r too different... should jsut leave him alone ... since he can cope so well ... y should i bother with another person whos nt interested , it would b a complete waste of my effort n time . i shouldnt stoop myself tat low.. after a while if tat person continues tis way persistently.. sometinf is wrong...its just nt the way to behave like tis.. any other gal would have reacted e same...
fine......
enough is enough.
i give up..
if hes nt worth the effort, trash it...
tell myself i can b a heartless bitch myself who couldnt care less of wats going on except on myself...
tats wat i m going to do..
n i trust myself i definitely can be one
sick of being some transparent element
tired of taking the lead
disappointed with some outcomes
just let it b..
arrange for more work
switch off my handphone sometimes
make myself incontactable
since i m taken so lightly.. it so mad n its just nt polite to ignore or nt return calls.
y should i make myself so conveniently located
KNN.. its so bloodly unfair..
i keep quiet. i m tying to c how he behaves .. but i m disappointed sometimes... i dun mention it. tat doesnt mean i m fine..
taken for granted.... everyting changes
do i look like someone who will be easily manipulated.. no way... !!!
since he has stired up the fire n made me so mad ...
lets play e waiting game man...
E beautiful tings u hold tightly with u
http://health.msn.com/centers/depression/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100100328
1016am 151006
there is just too much to mention namely the beautiful things.
ur lovely parents.. perhaps ur beloved ones or even ur significant half...we dun have to mention names.,. they r deeply engraved in our memories. my mum is someone i dun want to forget..
its been a gd 12 yrs without her, some of e happy memories r still fresh in my head.. even as long as i was 7. Being the only princess of the house, ur mum is just one extraordinary person who would spend time dolling u up. whipping nice dishes in the kitchen which in my case.. it was opposite.
mum was always on the move.. i would remember her flipping thru her appointment book. rushing to appointments n reminding me to be independent & to behave while i take care of myself in the house by myself.she was always so full of energy ,so bubbly n motivated to b a homemaker n a terrific sales person. i would end up my mum's PA sometimes answering her callls.. so my sales flair begins when i was just a kid..
there were some words i remember her telling me..
be good t o your father if i cant take care of u someday..
b a strong person n stand up on ur own..
always believe in yourself n dun depend on other ppl..
i recall being so clingy to her like a koala bearin bed.. always bugging her to wake up to make desserts n cookies n refusing to give her her shoes to get out of the house for her appointments.hahaha i was such a little gal then..
unti lthen i didnt realize how much effort she put in to pull the family together... but i always end up that my dad didnt understand up & cause much conflicts n tension. proabbly coz she didnt have the concentration, her dishes sometimes turn up funny or even weird to a certain extent.. my bro would just reject those dishes coz it tasted so horrendous.. probabbly u remember 2 extreme tings.. e most wonderful food u taste n e worst. my dad was e worst.. he just dump everyting in the garbarge.. its rubbish to him..
thats when suddenly those food disappear n its replaced by my dad who turns out to b a worse chef than mum.. we end up playing scissors paper stone to decide who gets to finish up the "worse dish" if nt my dad will blow up coz his culinary efforts is not recognised n appreciated.There were times of my dark periods when i had my fights with my dad ended up slaming both our doors n back to our room..periods of missing tis endearing person who would b on ur side.tat i would describe ..it was much regret that she cant c me now... all grown up n we could have gone for a spa or shopping together.. everyting on me.. going on tour with her..there were so many tings i wished i could share with her.. in stead of complaining to her whenever i visit her in mt vernon. it feels incomplete sometimes , some insecurity when u were jsut a kid.. u pin all ur hopes on ur parents to find it all dashed... now back to present.. as age catches our fights diminishes like the economics law of marginal utility/ although there s still some endless nagging frm him. Its been a long way now. viv did mention to me now tat u survive on ur own for those last odd 10 over years.. so when my relationship was on e rocks, she reassurred me everytime will b fine ...
my first breakup when i was 19
e yr 1994
n tat was like e most bitter chapter of my life moments of anguish n hatred n repulsiveness i choose nt to relive it although some flashes of memories just appear ... it doent affects me now . nt anymore..
i woke up today pondering over my conversation with him last nite.. do i really belong to the senseless dumb category whos easily unfluenced.. dee p down i dun tink i m... i tink i m more selective in certain areas ...
i seldom recluse myself. although i will sometimes..
naturally now i would avoid the crowd .. i have spent e last amost 22hrs in my little cubicle at home..
later i got to have a social gathering coz theres a family bbq nite i got to arrange to check in at that bungalow.
until then so much of my endless stories n melancholic entry on a bright sunday morning...
there is a lot to explore. many possibilities.. but it can only be fulfiled n realized if you choose to make it happen.
1016am 151006
there is just too much to mention namely the beautiful things.
ur lovely parents.. perhaps ur beloved ones or even ur significant half...we dun have to mention names.,. they r deeply engraved in our memories. my mum is someone i dun want to forget..
its been a gd 12 yrs without her, some of e happy memories r still fresh in my head.. even as long as i was 7. Being the only princess of the house, ur mum is just one extraordinary person who would spend time dolling u up. whipping nice dishes in the kitchen which in my case.. it was opposite.
mum was always on the move.. i would remember her flipping thru her appointment book. rushing to appointments n reminding me to be independent & to behave while i take care of myself in the house by myself.she was always so full of energy ,so bubbly n motivated to b a homemaker n a terrific sales person. i would end up my mum's PA sometimes answering her callls.. so my sales flair begins when i was just a kid..
there were some words i remember her telling me..
be good t o your father if i cant take care of u someday..
b a strong person n stand up on ur own..
always believe in yourself n dun depend on other ppl..
i recall being so clingy to her like a koala bearin bed.. always bugging her to wake up to make desserts n cookies n refusing to give her her shoes to get out of the house for her appointments.hahaha i was such a little gal then..
unti lthen i didnt realize how much effort she put in to pull the family together... but i always end up that my dad didnt understand up & cause much conflicts n tension. proabbly coz she didnt have the concentration, her dishes sometimes turn up funny or even weird to a certain extent.. my bro would just reject those dishes coz it tasted so horrendous.. probabbly u remember 2 extreme tings.. e most wonderful food u taste n e worst. my dad was e worst.. he just dump everyting in the garbarge.. its rubbish to him..
thats when suddenly those food disappear n its replaced by my dad who turns out to b a worse chef than mum.. we end up playing scissors paper stone to decide who gets to finish up the "worse dish" if nt my dad will blow up coz his culinary efforts is not recognised n appreciated.There were times of my dark periods when i had my fights with my dad ended up slaming both our doors n back to our room..periods of missing tis endearing person who would b on ur side.tat i would describe ..it was much regret that she cant c me now... all grown up n we could have gone for a spa or shopping together.. everyting on me.. going on tour with her..there were so many tings i wished i could share with her.. in stead of complaining to her whenever i visit her in mt vernon. it feels incomplete sometimes , some insecurity when u were jsut a kid.. u pin all ur hopes on ur parents to find it all dashed... now back to present.. as age catches our fights diminishes like the economics law of marginal utility/ although there s still some endless nagging frm him. Its been a long way now. viv did mention to me now tat u survive on ur own for those last odd 10 over years.. so when my relationship was on e rocks, she reassurred me everytime will b fine ...
my first breakup when i was 19
e yr 1994
n tat was like e most bitter chapter of my life moments of anguish n hatred n repulsiveness i choose nt to relive it although some flashes of memories just appear ... it doent affects me now . nt anymore..
i woke up today pondering over my conversation with him last nite.. do i really belong to the senseless dumb category whos easily unfluenced.. dee p down i dun tink i m... i tink i m more selective in certain areas ...
i seldom recluse myself. although i will sometimes..
naturally now i would avoid the crowd .. i have spent e last amost 22hrs in my little cubicle at home..
later i got to have a social gathering coz theres a family bbq nite i got to arrange to check in at that bungalow.
until then so much of my endless stories n melancholic entry on a bright sunday morning...
there is a lot to explore. many possibilities.. but it can only be fulfiled n realized if you choose to make it happen.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
pleasant weekday on my off day
with loud music blasting @ my ears n e breeze frm the fan... everyting looks pretty fine on a peaceful wed in spite of my colleague calling me @ 10.30 am in the morning.
is a drive n passion that drives u to perform n exceed ur own potential.. n tis is driving me... each day i wake up ..
y we work so hard ..
darling.....u r my source of inspiration... n i never want to lose u.
is a drive n passion that drives u to perform n exceed ur own potential.. n tis is driving me... each day i wake up ..
y we work so hard ..
darling.....u r my source of inspiration... n i never want to lose u.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Tues morning @ 1.07am
As other frens has described, "he" is indeed a "nice guy"' who has strong morals ... kind, patient, & understanding person .I do appreciate the little acts from him, n our brief blissful moments while trying to find time togetherUnfortuately to all the gals out there ,hes been taken up.. So far theres not much complaints about tis wonderful beau.If there was anyting that was lacking would be time, however this is no longer an issue becoz love transcends time & we both got a common understanding to work tings out n we have faith in each other.We have both embarked on a new journey together n tis is only the begining. Nevertheless, we will still continue to strive for our goals n achieve happines together..loving you alwayssam ^_^
as mentioned above tis was a testimonial i wrote for him..
I have dated otther people out there.. but e vibes tat he sent is certainly different frm the rest this time.
i reckon there is a switch of roles sometimes between the man n the gal friend.. e classic new age sensitive guy whos ever so thoughtful towards his gal.. tat is truly a blessing.. n all gd tings have got to b waited on.. harvested ....
this is the far most relaxed relationship i m in now without having to inflict external or added stress on each other.. n continues to progress each n every day
PFG or plaster fat guy has been one of the " nicest" boss who takes good cares of his subordinates ,,, no doubt hes result orientated , he has imparted some of the most important skills to me in the team... we seem to synchronise work more smoothly now as times goes by .. the performance has also improved as compared to other teams in the cluster..
i have 2 weekends to rest n start my long awaited revison n tutorial preparation ....
it will b another 1 month or so before i c him.. n shortly another round of separation.. its gonna b hard but its part n parcel.. in order to appreciate the warmth of the sun., sometimes one has to experience long periods of pitch darkness in order to understand better the extreme of the latter n treasure tings which we always take for granted for.. like those people who would get behind to lend us a hand when we are lost or troubled console us when we are terribly down n depressed..to be always supportive , behind us n catch us when we fall , bring us happiness when we least expect it.. my baby... yeah u r the one for me... how would i have been if i never met u again..
=)
0126hrs
101006
as mentioned above tis was a testimonial i wrote for him..
I have dated otther people out there.. but e vibes tat he sent is certainly different frm the rest this time.
i reckon there is a switch of roles sometimes between the man n the gal friend.. e classic new age sensitive guy whos ever so thoughtful towards his gal.. tat is truly a blessing.. n all gd tings have got to b waited on.. harvested ....
this is the far most relaxed relationship i m in now without having to inflict external or added stress on each other.. n continues to progress each n every day
PFG or plaster fat guy has been one of the " nicest" boss who takes good cares of his subordinates ,,, no doubt hes result orientated , he has imparted some of the most important skills to me in the team... we seem to synchronise work more smoothly now as times goes by .. the performance has also improved as compared to other teams in the cluster..
i have 2 weekends to rest n start my long awaited revison n tutorial preparation ....
it will b another 1 month or so before i c him.. n shortly another round of separation.. its gonna b hard but its part n parcel.. in order to appreciate the warmth of the sun., sometimes one has to experience long periods of pitch darkness in order to understand better the extreme of the latter n treasure tings which we always take for granted for.. like those people who would get behind to lend us a hand when we are lost or troubled console us when we are terribly down n depressed..to be always supportive , behind us n catch us when we fall , bring us happiness when we least expect it.. my baby... yeah u r the one for me... how would i have been if i never met u again..
=)
0126hrs
101006
Saturday, October 07, 2006
chill out nite after hazel nut latte
well .. tis could b the caffeine acting up.. it happens after i gulp down during the possible sleeping hours of the timing.. n after tiramisu . its double e effect ...
although we didnt manage to c the moon.. being out with the gals is the next best ting to me.. i treasure the bonding with my gals.. as age catches up , commitment seems to pile up so frienship doesnt end there.
i wonder if all of us r married , would we fulfil the idea of shopping with style with our prams n kids.. its like such a long way ahead.
i m hitting like the big 25 in 2 yrs time. another 7 yrs to 30...
havea lot in mind. but lack the discpline to fulfile .. e habit of procastinating just doesnt seems to b good
although we didnt manage to c the moon.. being out with the gals is the next best ting to me.. i treasure the bonding with my gals.. as age catches up , commitment seems to pile up so frienship doesnt end there.
i wonder if all of us r married , would we fulfil the idea of shopping with style with our prams n kids.. its like such a long way ahead.
i m hitting like the big 25 in 2 yrs time. another 7 yrs to 30...
havea lot in mind. but lack the discpline to fulfile .. e habit of procastinating just doesnt seems to b good
Friday, October 06, 2006
e eve of mooncake festival
its nice to have someone by ur side gazing at the stars.. counting ur blessings even on a dull weeknite..
it has been a peaceful n romantic fulfiling evening to b able to b with him..quietly in a nice setting ..
thats totally relaxing to put ur mind at ease n enjoy the lovely breeze n appreciate nature.
away frm the urbanised culture or even entertaining strangers during the course of work.
e next phase is like an exploring stage whereby we will uncover certain traits of each other n hopfully to solve issues n work tings out together..
using ur temper .. losing ur cool doesnt help.. it makes tings worse off . if we could pull ourselves together n rationalise . perhaps the picture would b simpler. however we are after all humans.
another 2 months to 2007 . its been a gd 2 months with him n many consecutive 2 months together
it has been a peaceful n romantic fulfiling evening to b able to b with him..quietly in a nice setting ..
thats totally relaxing to put ur mind at ease n enjoy the lovely breeze n appreciate nature.
away frm the urbanised culture or even entertaining strangers during the course of work.
e next phase is like an exploring stage whereby we will uncover certain traits of each other n hopfully to solve issues n work tings out together..
using ur temper .. losing ur cool doesnt help.. it makes tings worse off . if we could pull ourselves together n rationalise . perhaps the picture would b simpler. however we are after all humans.
another 2 months to 2007 . its been a gd 2 months with him n many consecutive 2 months together
Sunday, October 01, 2006
a series of wrong turns
its tough being a driver. someone who knows the route well ,, plans the journey , unfortunately i do not belong to e former..
behind the wheel .. i m sometimes in a ball of mess , fumbling with the various driving tools ...a good sense of direction just does not fall under my characteristic traits... its a pain to b stranded out of no where in pitch darkenss trying to figure out which is the correct path back home. just as i hate to check on maps n the little green friendly sign board.. i was faced with another issue... panic button hit...runing out of petrol n fishing out a petrol station out of somwhere .. out of my 22 years of human existance.. i managed to get the right petrol n randomly took the most correct intutive route back my sweet little home.. n here i am now.. nicely showered n calmed down .. with a nt so helpful navigator aka my daddy its simply even more difficult to cordinate with his instructions ,which some i dun even understand what blab he was trying to explain.. nevertheless after some series of wrong turns.. we still got it.... yeah......
after being so hopelessly dependently on my lovely brother for being the family driver, i do miss his presence although he does scream at me for mis- using his car.. at least hes got skills that i ought to learn from..
after driving the whole day , i m losing it.. e battery didnt work , e alram just rattle on.. really had a hard time stoping it n solving wats with that little gadget.. to imagine driving alone in some ulu parts of the island really scares me.. wat if i m stranded with no phone or public transport.. oh man... i gonnna b in deep trouble .....worse still if i m robbed ,, penniless
i broke in cold sweat esp oso at the same time with 2 young kids behind me, jumpingn screaming , a naggy old man by my side... cant rationalise properly , e sense of responsibiliy to deliver safely becomes a major block in my mind.. n half e time i was half praying my sweaty palms wont act on me again.. it was so slippery n so tense ..i half wish i hasnt got in as a driver in the 1st place..
thank god its is only one of the rare sundays i m obliged to be despatch...
behind the wheel .. i m sometimes in a ball of mess , fumbling with the various driving tools ...a good sense of direction just does not fall under my characteristic traits... its a pain to b stranded out of no where in pitch darkenss trying to figure out which is the correct path back home. just as i hate to check on maps n the little green friendly sign board.. i was faced with another issue... panic button hit...runing out of petrol n fishing out a petrol station out of somwhere .. out of my 22 years of human existance.. i managed to get the right petrol n randomly took the most correct intutive route back my sweet little home.. n here i am now.. nicely showered n calmed down .. with a nt so helpful navigator aka my daddy its simply even more difficult to cordinate with his instructions ,which some i dun even understand what blab he was trying to explain.. nevertheless after some series of wrong turns.. we still got it.... yeah......
after being so hopelessly dependently on my lovely brother for being the family driver, i do miss his presence although he does scream at me for mis- using his car.. at least hes got skills that i ought to learn from..
after driving the whole day , i m losing it.. e battery didnt work , e alram just rattle on.. really had a hard time stoping it n solving wats with that little gadget.. to imagine driving alone in some ulu parts of the island really scares me.. wat if i m stranded with no phone or public transport.. oh man... i gonnna b in deep trouble .....worse still if i m robbed ,, penniless
i broke in cold sweat esp oso at the same time with 2 young kids behind me, jumpingn screaming , a naggy old man by my side... cant rationalise properly , e sense of responsibiliy to deliver safely becomes a major block in my mind.. n half e time i was half praying my sweaty palms wont act on me again.. it was so slippery n so tense ..i half wish i hasnt got in as a driver in the 1st place..
thank god its is only one of the rare sundays i m obliged to be despatch...
euphoric saturday nite
its a lot to digest.. for tonite.. really feel high .. top of e skies n a sense of euphoria floods me..
could b e milk tea tat i had for supper which affects my sleeping cycle.. just veri alert during the wee hours of the nite.. at 0507am... on sun morning.. tis is insane...
could b other tings i have in mind reliving it... ehehehe :p
level 1 to level 2 with him..
certain tings just happen erratically without any signs or symptoms.. it does happen.
apparently i m kinda in a state of shock n denial .. .hahaha
YEs its true.. it is.. accept it... yeah i tink i have to..
it has been a long day after a day's work checking thru past records. preparing for the next check due in a few months time.. to me its been rather ambigous as towards him... i always belive certain things happen for a good reason which is y i have managed to grab hold of sanity.. being pragmatic as well as maintaining a cheerful, optimistic outlook.
would wish to pull through the most crucial years of myself n progress on to the next phase... really looking forward to another exciting phase. slow n steady.. gettting there reaching the next rest stop before embarking to another stop..
someting interesting
http://www.cyberparent.com/love/love-being-in-love-1.htm
e effect of caffeine has started to wear off... all rite time to head for some decent rest before sun depreciates fast... . another 24-26 hrs to mon morning... 0525hrs 01/10/06
could b e milk tea tat i had for supper which affects my sleeping cycle.. just veri alert during the wee hours of the nite.. at 0507am... on sun morning.. tis is insane...
could b other tings i have in mind reliving it... ehehehe :p
level 1 to level 2 with him..
certain tings just happen erratically without any signs or symptoms.. it does happen.
apparently i m kinda in a state of shock n denial .. .hahaha
YEs its true.. it is.. accept it... yeah i tink i have to..
it has been a long day after a day's work checking thru past records. preparing for the next check due in a few months time.. to me its been rather ambigous as towards him... i always belive certain things happen for a good reason which is y i have managed to grab hold of sanity.. being pragmatic as well as maintaining a cheerful, optimistic outlook.
would wish to pull through the most crucial years of myself n progress on to the next phase... really looking forward to another exciting phase. slow n steady.. gettting there reaching the next rest stop before embarking to another stop..
someting interesting
http://www.cyberparent.com/love/love-being-in-love-1.htm
e effect of caffeine has started to wear off... all rite time to head for some decent rest before sun depreciates fast... . another 24-26 hrs to mon morning... 0525hrs 01/10/06
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
beautiful tuesday .. clean room n dust free
just finished interpretating his assigmment....
brain dead..
however was quite good as i restart my brain power to absorb new information
a fewtings after tis blog..
read thru my study guide..
revise sociolgy frm pat's class..
hit the sack by latest 3am..
mop e floor , cleared my gabbage. nice n clean
kinda "proud " of my little achievement..
felt more ready to take up little challenges n small steps each day to improvise on myself..
manage to apologise to my superior whos so obessively organised n gradually geting positively influenced by tis huge .. " rugby player guy "
which turns out to b a good ting.. n oso abt ..es p particularly pertaining to cleanliness.
long nite to go.. babe....
brain dead..
however was quite good as i restart my brain power to absorb new information
a fewtings after tis blog..
read thru my study guide..
revise sociolgy frm pat's class..
hit the sack by latest 3am..
mop e floor , cleared my gabbage. nice n clean
kinda "proud " of my little achievement..
felt more ready to take up little challenges n small steps each day to improvise on myself..
manage to apologise to my superior whos so obessively organised n gradually geting positively influenced by tis huge .. " rugby player guy "
which turns out to b a good ting.. n oso abt ..es p particularly pertaining to cleanliness.
long nite to go.. babe....
Sunday, September 24, 2006
fruitful sunday
its been really fruitful today having the company of my fellow classmates in our focused study group.. revising each on our own n ocassionally asking constructive questions , yesterday was like my recuperating day n i missed , forgone a hip hop performance to attend a family dinner. as usual sat nite was spent on the study table.. soaking in knowledge preparing for mock exam.
begining to get the hang out of it .. endless readings n references .. manage to create some interest in accounting.
so here m i now.. feeling a little sense of achievement tat i finally pluck up.. reduce my " nuaism" to attempt the past yr exam questions at least for tutorial 1.. not a bad start .
last nite he came over especially to find me.. a mere 3 hr but i guess it was ingratiating..esp when there was some occasionables showers in the middle of the nite facing the peaceful river infront of us.although i dunno y whats hindering him frm going further, but i reckon this is a sign of respect for me .although i do harbour some " evil intention" towards him.. its kinda cute seeing him blush hehehe..tis indeed proves tat hes a rookie ...
my classmates have been discussing if we should fly over to london to attend our graduation ..n at the same time spend a little holiday there as a form of reward for our hard work n effort to attaining our well awaited external degree.
he surely has great determination n discipline by nt answering calls ... surely he has been deeply engrossed himself to excel n put in great effort to achieve his kind of desired grades for his assignments.
nevertheless . i should also adopt such learning attitude , n been more critical of my own studying environment n habits.. to start packing on my notes after revisioion n start some mini planning on the allocation of time to better preparation in my weaker units.
there r so many chapters but in order to make tings more effective , n smart studying its better to start early than to cramp everyting last min, my brain is just so saturated cramming all the information n knowlege. i feel drained although its a sunday
after some chat with joe , it seems tat my endless chatter is giving him some form of stress as well.. hahaha i never really quite understand y his behavior is so devoid of all emotions , tat s due to hes too bogged down with assignments, n his pace is far more fast as i thought, i should b more understanding tat its nt easy to consistenly produce scoring assignments with the interruptions of full time work as well as fatigue sets in . it becomes a challenge of nt sucumbing to sleep, being a part time student myself , i tink i knew it well oso but yet i was so damn irrational n childish.. oh man... time to wake up liao.. almost a educated promising young lady , n i still commit such level .. ahhhhhhhhhh... so paiseh
so today's considered fruitful afterall... i gained a better insight of my man n how much he cares for me as well ... tis type of feeling is good enough knowing tat someone is there for me but e only factor seems to b the lack of time n some form of decent communication that hes willing to fork out.. n to me, my initiative has to capped of a certain level so that i wont appear as pushy or childish.. however what lacks behind is his little mystery as to why of his resistance sometimes .. or hes just too reserved for certain reasons tat i have to find out myself. sometimes its good to understand a person not just at face value & nt to jump in bed with him without understanding if he should be right one to be with. or having more intimate moments with this special significant other . nontheless i do find that hes of similar characteristic traits ,nt all but predominantly like easy going n forgiving seems to b the "click" , the mere difference is that hes more cool n i belong to e hot n quick tempered category.
there must b a tip as to how he can hold his gentlemaness.. or perhaps there is a dark side of him which has nt been explored.
its rather unfair that i impose certain demands on this chap or any promises that i cannot fulfil it myself at this stage.
love can make someone insane, or even lose their ability to reason & i believe tis is wat happens to me..
so i have to cope , n behave logically in order to stay focused in this run ... e run with joe n my studies
family do play a important role , seeing those kids do bring a smile to me n a simple homecooked dinner is far more tasty than the famous food out there. there is a element of bonding n kinship involved . just to commit some time n at least once in a week to catch up is definitely condusive . really amazed the tings kids blurt out , really funny sometimes .. my neice n nephew made me relive the days back in primary school
by telling me e story of 3 little pigs.. huff n puff .. e big bad wolf n the chinmey ...
i m glad my knot has been loosened , its better to c tings from a more objective pt of view. brings less worries.. n finally i can close my epsiode of my grouchiness n b normal again.. yeahhh.. a good way to close this week..
begining to get the hang out of it .. endless readings n references .. manage to create some interest in accounting.
so here m i now.. feeling a little sense of achievement tat i finally pluck up.. reduce my " nuaism" to attempt the past yr exam questions at least for tutorial 1.. not a bad start .
last nite he came over especially to find me.. a mere 3 hr but i guess it was ingratiating..esp when there was some occasionables showers in the middle of the nite facing the peaceful river infront of us.although i dunno y whats hindering him frm going further, but i reckon this is a sign of respect for me .although i do harbour some " evil intention" towards him.. its kinda cute seeing him blush hehehe..tis indeed proves tat hes a rookie ...
my classmates have been discussing if we should fly over to london to attend our graduation ..n at the same time spend a little holiday there as a form of reward for our hard work n effort to attaining our well awaited external degree.
he surely has great determination n discipline by nt answering calls ... surely he has been deeply engrossed himself to excel n put in great effort to achieve his kind of desired grades for his assignments.
nevertheless . i should also adopt such learning attitude , n been more critical of my own studying environment n habits.. to start packing on my notes after revisioion n start some mini planning on the allocation of time to better preparation in my weaker units.
there r so many chapters but in order to make tings more effective , n smart studying its better to start early than to cramp everyting last min, my brain is just so saturated cramming all the information n knowlege. i feel drained although its a sunday
after some chat with joe , it seems tat my endless chatter is giving him some form of stress as well.. hahaha i never really quite understand y his behavior is so devoid of all emotions , tat s due to hes too bogged down with assignments, n his pace is far more fast as i thought, i should b more understanding tat its nt easy to consistenly produce scoring assignments with the interruptions of full time work as well as fatigue sets in . it becomes a challenge of nt sucumbing to sleep, being a part time student myself , i tink i knew it well oso but yet i was so damn irrational n childish.. oh man... time to wake up liao.. almost a educated promising young lady , n i still commit such level .. ahhhhhhhhhh... so paiseh
so today's considered fruitful afterall... i gained a better insight of my man n how much he cares for me as well ... tis type of feeling is good enough knowing tat someone is there for me but e only factor seems to b the lack of time n some form of decent communication that hes willing to fork out.. n to me, my initiative has to capped of a certain level so that i wont appear as pushy or childish.. however what lacks behind is his little mystery as to why of his resistance sometimes .. or hes just too reserved for certain reasons tat i have to find out myself. sometimes its good to understand a person not just at face value & nt to jump in bed with him without understanding if he should be right one to be with. or having more intimate moments with this special significant other . nontheless i do find that hes of similar characteristic traits ,nt all but predominantly like easy going n forgiving seems to b the "click" , the mere difference is that hes more cool n i belong to e hot n quick tempered category.
there must b a tip as to how he can hold his gentlemaness.. or perhaps there is a dark side of him which has nt been explored.
its rather unfair that i impose certain demands on this chap or any promises that i cannot fulfil it myself at this stage.
love can make someone insane, or even lose their ability to reason & i believe tis is wat happens to me..
so i have to cope , n behave logically in order to stay focused in this run ... e run with joe n my studies
family do play a important role , seeing those kids do bring a smile to me n a simple homecooked dinner is far more tasty than the famous food out there. there is a element of bonding n kinship involved . just to commit some time n at least once in a week to catch up is definitely condusive . really amazed the tings kids blurt out , really funny sometimes .. my neice n nephew made me relive the days back in primary school
by telling me e story of 3 little pigs.. huff n puff .. e big bad wolf n the chinmey ...
i m glad my knot has been loosened , its better to c tings from a more objective pt of view. brings less worries.. n finally i can close my epsiode of my grouchiness n b normal again.. yeahhh.. a good way to close this week..
Saturday, September 23, 2006
lovely weeknd ahead
my weekend has arrived, has a fantastic nite last nitemy frens ...drinking... nice...
i 've gonna really enjoy.....
other tings nt important if hes nt available , then i would enjoy on my own with other alternatives
my feet is aching.. my throat feels hoarse.. i need a nice recuperaing nap to recover...
i 've gonna really enjoy.....
other tings nt important if hes nt available , then i would enjoy on my own with other alternatives
my feet is aching.. my throat feels hoarse.. i need a nice recuperaing nap to recover...
Friday, September 22, 2006
cool....
i havent make a mistake.. such stupid blunder @ work.. tis is e final straw , oh man.. i hate myself for behaving like tis .. it reflects badly on myself oso if i have to forgone certain ppl . i make i have to do it..
or else it just going to corrode me soon...
i hate being bitter
i hate being invisible
i hate to act childish
i want to b the same sam again.
i m just letting loose of my own emotions at work its totally insane..
i should just treat him like dirt as well n let him have a taste of his own medicine
notice how many I's i type its 11 in total tis shows how egoisitic n selfish i can b... i cant stand it !!!!!
still waiting for a colleague to finish her presentation n march to lunch.. its another 6 more hrs to go before my weekend.. oh my lovely weekend !!!!
or else it just going to corrode me soon...
i hate being bitter
i hate being invisible
i hate to act childish
i want to b the same sam again.
i m just letting loose of my own emotions at work its totally insane..
i should just treat him like dirt as well n let him have a taste of his own medicine
notice how many I's i type its 11 in total tis shows how egoisitic n selfish i can b... i cant stand it !!!!!
still waiting for a colleague to finish her presentation n march to lunch.. its another 6 more hrs to go before my weekend.. oh my lovely weekend !!!!
Thursday, September 21, 2006
irrational behavior
i m doing this in the midst of my working hours.. i seriously need to detoxify to digress some of my negative behavior.. that e fact is i m behaving irrationally , abnormally.. feeling bitter not to b appreciated by him, that it is just a little game perhaps to him.. it feels terrible n its a pain.. but yet this is like a phase for me..
some days i begin to wonder if i m attached or just " attached" as a term. i seriously have to evaluate again if this is again goint to affect me emotionally...
most of my entreis posted r usually pleasant musings or even anticipating ones .. but now everyting's nt the same ... i m taken for granted..
well now i m back home comfortably at my study table back again since hes nt available got to "complain" again..if this doesnt bother me. then i would b lying...
probabbly lesbian buddy is rite... its just a matter of time if two people can click n last to the test of time, if it wasnt meant to b.. it will nt last long either.
there r a lot of false deception which i cant seem to decipher , tis irritates me to a certain extent tat i cant do anyting abt it either but use time to get seasoned.
probabbly when e ppl who have no time try to make some time .. tis happens.. errors happen
i will b a independent gal who can stand on her own
i wont let such minor stuff get in my way
time to get some control of myself
a rational sam,
a logical sam
someone who can take control of her emotions
less emotional n more serious work
cool n calm..
resilient n resolute
some days i begin to wonder if i m attached or just " attached" as a term. i seriously have to evaluate again if this is again goint to affect me emotionally...
most of my entreis posted r usually pleasant musings or even anticipating ones .. but now everyting's nt the same ... i m taken for granted..
well now i m back home comfortably at my study table back again since hes nt available got to "complain" again..if this doesnt bother me. then i would b lying...
probabbly lesbian buddy is rite... its just a matter of time if two people can click n last to the test of time, if it wasnt meant to b.. it will nt last long either.
there r a lot of false deception which i cant seem to decipher , tis irritates me to a certain extent tat i cant do anyting abt it either but use time to get seasoned.
probabbly when e ppl who have no time try to make some time .. tis happens.. errors happen
i will b a independent gal who can stand on her own
i wont let such minor stuff get in my way
time to get some control of myself
a rational sam,
a logical sam
someone who can take control of her emotions
less emotional n more serious work
cool n calm..
resilient n resolute
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
weeknite after class...
weeknite after class...
its been another marketing class on a wed evening, had a sumptous dinner @ sakae sushi..as a result missed a bit of class.. totally demotivated to attempt marketing as a unit during exam.. in uni level in Uk level is so damn academic as compared to e poly days where u can rely on ur integrated project to pull u up n pass....
a little guilty for nt concentrating in class. was casually taking notes down n was chatting with my classmate
been really procastinating on my revision on my term 1 n current term 2 notes.. i usually doze off after reading a bit.. tis affects my progess n brain power oso nt good.,, cant store so much as compared as to e past when i was in my teens .. just memorise for those geography diagrams n essay questions to prepare is a breeze man..
the more difficult units to attempt happens to b units like sociology which is nt a common sense unit ... n besides my level of english n essays is not really exceptionally strong .. which makes it a challenge to me to present my essay in a really coherent manner.
i m starting slowly each day to prepare my units for exam next yr in another 7-8 months time.. just sent out my bank draft to london.. really stressed to excel, ok another 30 mins or so.. i gotta start studying a bit.. everyday 1 hr is nt really difficult to spare.. to revise n internalise some knowlege in lecture.. come to tink abt it 1.5 hrs per unit per week is insufficent to absorb the same as compared as a full time student.
no wonder my frens in part time for those lazy ones.. grades really cannot make it . it s such a scary tot when u know u spent a fortune on those units & at the end of the day.. u still get such lousy grades .. ur heart will wrench into a tight knot n e next ting u feel like banging ur head on the wall ...of course the effort invested in it.. does nt necessarily equates to the actual result produced other elements oso contruibute a part to it , like luck, if the examiner or marker likes ur script or even if you spotted the rite exam units n how thorough was ur preparation for the whole damn semester, seriously all the one yr of study is all reflected in a 3- hr examination ..wat a joke..
wat really happens after graduation .. its like a big question i asked myself often after going thru or currently going thru the phase of rushing n working n studying.. the objective is to ultimately climb the coporate ladder ? .. enjoy the fruits of labour ?or just plainly to have more bargaining power as a employee n earn as big bucks as possible .. or simply a combination of all.. ?
n at a certain age like 35 or even 40 m i willing to forgone this for a family.. or will i b easily contented to settle for a nice n cozy family.. kids n caring husband . 10 yrs frm now or will i still be a swinging single..
life in ur 20s is a exciting begining , fresh frm sch a lot of tings to explore n lots of aspirations. now after in the working force for anbbt 3 yrs now in 3 separate companies n industries , u r just begining to be less idealistic n less complacent when u were just a innocent fresh grad with no industry experince,another 2 more years i will be in mid 20s, i m starting to visualise my path in my later career . As compared to the mindset in ur early teens or adolescence , ur goals to achieve seems so much smaller n easier to attain .. life was so muc h simpler n plain happy just being with ur close buddies in school n revising for exam. ther e was just too much to reminisce.. reciprocal affection n kindness to ur beloved ones ..
another 6 more mins .. have to start flipping those lecture slides...
pen off.
its been another marketing class on a wed evening, had a sumptous dinner @ sakae sushi..as a result missed a bit of class.. totally demotivated to attempt marketing as a unit during exam.. in uni level in Uk level is so damn academic as compared to e poly days where u can rely on ur integrated project to pull u up n pass....
a little guilty for nt concentrating in class. was casually taking notes down n was chatting with my classmate
been really procastinating on my revision on my term 1 n current term 2 notes.. i usually doze off after reading a bit.. tis affects my progess n brain power oso nt good.,, cant store so much as compared as to e past when i was in my teens .. just memorise for those geography diagrams n essay questions to prepare is a breeze man..
the more difficult units to attempt happens to b units like sociology which is nt a common sense unit ... n besides my level of english n essays is not really exceptionally strong .. which makes it a challenge to me to present my essay in a really coherent manner.
i m starting slowly each day to prepare my units for exam next yr in another 7-8 months time.. just sent out my bank draft to london.. really stressed to excel, ok another 30 mins or so.. i gotta start studying a bit.. everyday 1 hr is nt really difficult to spare.. to revise n internalise some knowlege in lecture.. come to tink abt it 1.5 hrs per unit per week is insufficent to absorb the same as compared as a full time student.
no wonder my frens in part time for those lazy ones.. grades really cannot make it . it s such a scary tot when u know u spent a fortune on those units & at the end of the day.. u still get such lousy grades .. ur heart will wrench into a tight knot n e next ting u feel like banging ur head on the wall ...of course the effort invested in it.. does nt necessarily equates to the actual result produced other elements oso contruibute a part to it , like luck, if the examiner or marker likes ur script or even if you spotted the rite exam units n how thorough was ur preparation for the whole damn semester, seriously all the one yr of study is all reflected in a 3- hr examination ..wat a joke..
wat really happens after graduation .. its like a big question i asked myself often after going thru or currently going thru the phase of rushing n working n studying.. the objective is to ultimately climb the coporate ladder ? .. enjoy the fruits of labour ?or just plainly to have more bargaining power as a employee n earn as big bucks as possible .. or simply a combination of all.. ?
n at a certain age like 35 or even 40 m i willing to forgone this for a family.. or will i b easily contented to settle for a nice n cozy family.. kids n caring husband . 10 yrs frm now or will i still be a swinging single..
life in ur 20s is a exciting begining , fresh frm sch a lot of tings to explore n lots of aspirations. now after in the working force for anbbt 3 yrs now in 3 separate companies n industries , u r just begining to be less idealistic n less complacent when u were just a innocent fresh grad with no industry experince,another 2 more years i will be in mid 20s, i m starting to visualise my path in my later career . As compared to the mindset in ur early teens or adolescence , ur goals to achieve seems so much smaller n easier to attain .. life was so muc h simpler n plain happy just being with ur close buddies in school n revising for exam. ther e was just too much to reminisce.. reciprocal affection n kindness to ur beloved ones ..
another 6 more mins .. have to start flipping those lecture slides...
pen off.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Blissfully attached
wat more can i ask for now.. wonderful family , caring bf, gal frens who will b there for me.. ok colleagues n boss.. rewarding position with the organisation .. could strive for better.. but at current stage everting seems to b nicely in order , well managed ...
tis time i m in tis comfy arm chair in bro 3's brother in law's study room listening to alexander wang's li lom's songs while typing out the blog ... KISSif only 分 goodbye..
每一次和你分開 ﹐ 每一 次 kiss you goodbye, 很舍不得。。愛情的滋味此刻我終於最明白
wat happens if u dun get to c ur significant half?
its like a internal struggle with yourself on focusing ...
我希望他是我的未來 coz i believe in him
if only i got more time with him....... thats a long tot. i just realized how diverse our values vary..
but our style is to agree to disagree which aint a bad idea as well.
tis time i m in tis comfy arm chair in bro 3's brother in law's study room listening to alexander wang's li lom's songs while typing out the blog ... KISSif only 分 goodbye..
每一次和你分開 ﹐ 每一 次 kiss you goodbye, 很舍不得。。愛情的滋味此刻我終於最明白
wat happens if u dun get to c ur significant half?
its like a internal struggle with yourself on focusing ...
我希望他是我的未來 coz i believe in him
if only i got more time with him....... thats a long tot. i just realized how diverse our values vary..
but our style is to agree to disagree which aint a bad idea as well.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Its all in my mind: wonderful start of a turning pt
its all in my mind: wonderful start of a turning pt
while listening to jay chou's latest hits.. Many streams of my thoughts flow on a quiet Friday midnite .. my com reads 12.05am on september 16, 2006
thinking back on how I gone spend my weekend nite nicely curled on the study table revising , is rather demoralizing or rather mixed feelings.. More time for serious study but to forgone bgr. its nt a gd tradeoff.
tml's a long day for me n my fellow colleagues, 8.30am start work all e way stop for abt 2 hrs then road show 1pm- 8.30pm @ white sands branch . road show again... hope i can just escape earlier..
I got to motivate myself to earn more commisson for this month, did so badly for last month cant believe i was so slack.. After shopping @ bugis village just now after work , geting some nice heels , its time to get to serious work. There is the usual bread n butter issues ; bills to pay , targets to meet, difficult customers to solve n deadlines to meet .
hopefully a wonderrful start of being a studious n diligent student will let my effort pay off for my initial tradeoffs altogether...
he has become my beacon. a wonderful partner who's ever level headed .His exteriors exudes an air of coolness is wat was fixed on my first impression the first time i set my eyes on him on our date on 12/8/06.
there are many questions abt him, but i have too little answers to it. i need a key. n its mutual understanding n communication even in the absence of him , of being together .. 2 weeks would b away in a blink of the eye , n watever feelings would b contained n the tots of seeing him n in his arms would b so anticipating.
love should b allowed to b cultivated, to b nurtured slowly like caring for the young ones.. consistently giving attention & care but oso occasionally giving each other time of independence to allow e kids to shine on its own.
there r too many outstanding tings to KIV abt but lack of time to cater for every aspect, its like a touch n go concept for both of us. as much as i would like to b with him.. there are always constraints within that makes it infeasible to do so.. theres a lot of compromising to be done with him but then again its still e begining. n its a long path to go .. tat is to " get there" " the one" the ideal partner,, 3 magical words he told me..
love me
trust me
be with me
with tat we ended a 3hr conversation , thrashing on the conflicting pts of opinions which was quite a refreshing start. suddenly " the honeymoon" was shortened.. however.. would wish to prolong this phase of courtship
i admit ,, those seniors ard me r veri well groomed n tis reflects in their aura of elegance they exhibit n its contagious..
maybe its him,, it could b myself another phase of me, another side of sam who could b oso as alluring.time for a refreshing image . again from the defunct sporty sam to sexy sam.
i have to pull myself together to really focus on wats really important to me
i got to prolong my attention span altogether .e long periods spent in reading is demanding n it certain takes a lot of my energy trying to piecing out info , internalising knowlege to size it up in a coherent manner..wat if i have 2 brains to work with. extra brain power to boost my intelligence . havent even touch the accounting tutorial.. n its a boring unit to begin with as well.. sch work start to sink in .. nonetheless e endless weekend roadshow is begining to crash on my hectic schedules to meet.. to accede to the requests of the clients . e boss.. n to sch work
while listening to jay chou's latest hits.. Many streams of my thoughts flow on a quiet Friday midnite .. my com reads 12.05am on september 16, 2006
thinking back on how I gone spend my weekend nite nicely curled on the study table revising , is rather demoralizing or rather mixed feelings.. More time for serious study but to forgone bgr. its nt a gd tradeoff.
tml's a long day for me n my fellow colleagues, 8.30am start work all e way stop for abt 2 hrs then road show 1pm- 8.30pm @ white sands branch . road show again... hope i can just escape earlier..
I got to motivate myself to earn more commisson for this month, did so badly for last month cant believe i was so slack.. After shopping @ bugis village just now after work , geting some nice heels , its time to get to serious work. There is the usual bread n butter issues ; bills to pay , targets to meet, difficult customers to solve n deadlines to meet .
hopefully a wonderrful start of being a studious n diligent student will let my effort pay off for my initial tradeoffs altogether...
he has become my beacon. a wonderful partner who's ever level headed .His exteriors exudes an air of coolness is wat was fixed on my first impression the first time i set my eyes on him on our date on 12/8/06.
there are many questions abt him, but i have too little answers to it. i need a key. n its mutual understanding n communication even in the absence of him , of being together .. 2 weeks would b away in a blink of the eye , n watever feelings would b contained n the tots of seeing him n in his arms would b so anticipating.
love should b allowed to b cultivated, to b nurtured slowly like caring for the young ones.. consistently giving attention & care but oso occasionally giving each other time of independence to allow e kids to shine on its own.
there r too many outstanding tings to KIV abt but lack of time to cater for every aspect, its like a touch n go concept for both of us. as much as i would like to b with him.. there are always constraints within that makes it infeasible to do so.. theres a lot of compromising to be done with him but then again its still e begining. n its a long path to go .. tat is to " get there" " the one" the ideal partner,, 3 magical words he told me..
love me
trust me
be with me
with tat we ended a 3hr conversation , thrashing on the conflicting pts of opinions which was quite a refreshing start. suddenly " the honeymoon" was shortened.. however.. would wish to prolong this phase of courtship
i admit ,, those seniors ard me r veri well groomed n tis reflects in their aura of elegance they exhibit n its contagious..
maybe its him,, it could b myself another phase of me, another side of sam who could b oso as alluring.time for a refreshing image . again from the defunct sporty sam to sexy sam.
i have to pull myself together to really focus on wats really important to me
i got to prolong my attention span altogether .e long periods spent in reading is demanding n it certain takes a lot of my energy trying to piecing out info , internalising knowlege to size it up in a coherent manner..wat if i have 2 brains to work with. extra brain power to boost my intelligence . havent even touch the accounting tutorial.. n its a boring unit to begin with as well.. sch work start to sink in .. nonetheless e endless weekend roadshow is begining to crash on my hectic schedules to meet.. to accede to the requests of the clients . e boss.. n to sch work
Sunday, September 03, 2006
wonderful start of a turning pt
sometimes when people ask me in the past if i believe in fate..i always give the sheepish n skeptical smile. but i kinda have to admit when cupid strikes.. it does..
new love is found, although he has crossed my path 5 years ago.. certain tings happen for a reason n i guess it has indeed to me..
significantly he is now an important figure to me.
more importantly he has been a pillar of strength to me , my fort ..
lovey doey doesnt work when u r older.. mutual respect , understanding n similar goals n values is crucial n key elements to work tings out esp in a difficult period.
yet i cannot explain the theory behind opposite attracts...
i feel like i m always with the "wrong" type of men,, or rather this is fate...
its a wonderful start with this great beau. all the qualities i can ask for.if there was anyting tat was lacking would b time .. time is a factor n e level of commitment .. when u cant even convince urself to commit , how would u expect the other party to do so as well.. shall c how it goes .
new love is found, although he has crossed my path 5 years ago.. certain tings happen for a reason n i guess it has indeed to me..
significantly he is now an important figure to me.
more importantly he has been a pillar of strength to me , my fort ..
lovey doey doesnt work when u r older.. mutual respect , understanding n similar goals n values is crucial n key elements to work tings out esp in a difficult period.
yet i cannot explain the theory behind opposite attracts...
i feel like i m always with the "wrong" type of men,, or rather this is fate...
its a wonderful start with this great beau. all the qualities i can ask for.if there was anyting tat was lacking would b time .. time is a factor n e level of commitment .. when u cant even convince urself to commit , how would u expect the other party to do so as well.. shall c how it goes .
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Sleepless for no reason
My pc clock reads 5.57am on a Sunday morning.. and i just casually decided to read some of my previous blocs since as hard as i try.. i m still as sober n awake .. For some reason, tonite seems to be a difficult one.. no matter how hard i coax myself to be in slumberland.. n i happen to re read my blog n gosh.. its been ages since i blog... like since last Mar in year 2005 oh gosh!! its been like more than 1 year since i wrote any blogs.. might as well
its quite a day for me since my exam for my exemption unit is over.. summer holiday for my course starts in July.. long break ahead ...
Came back from my clubing sesson with one of my close frens.. had a couple of drinks, partying n people watching on those cute hunks n hot chicks in the bar...
Recently I have this thinking on how time really flies... for each of us. Its like just yesterday when you were just a kid n now you got to face certain issues in your life and problem solve it as you progess to certain stages .
Sometimes its good to handle things on your own n c for urself how it really turns out given in your best n wise decision that you make.
its been quite a while since i was on "reflective " mode.. as I observe and look around, certainly the people i c , interact do inflict a certain emotion in me & how would i react if i were in their shoes .
currently i have been freed of all the hassle with this ex of mine, which we have a bizzare relationship somehow or rather since his mother is my client. I still hear things about him , which i tink he really ought to think for himself on his ambitions, goals to set him more focused in his career path & not let people down whom has high hopes on him.
I would describe this ex of mine as a lost kid somehow & I was the nanny taking the lead to hold him & guide him.Hes a nice man, simple person who is contented n comfortable with his present pace & environment. However to survive well in a "jungle" we have to be ahead , plan things ahead & sure of why we want to do certain things to achieve certain objectives that we set outselves rather just doing it for the sake of it, I believe this will value add on our goals n act as a better motivation. I cant be a babysitter because i like to help people, i hope he can stand on his own one day without someone to push him.
Recently i just switched to a different path in the banking industry, & it certainly brings me some insights of common people since i m in the front line.There r lots of stories from my clients n everyday i hear different complains as well sometimes their problems as well n somehow my own problems seems to be smaller than i thought before.
I never imagined i would be in this line , strangly i 've grown to be fond of it.. someone on msn , my ex boss was chatting with me n asked me what was my passion... i started to think veri hard.. n then i convinced myself.. well i like travelling or rather i love travelling n perhaps being a tour guide would be interested than some banker...hahahaha...but this job is rather short lived, well i cant travel when i m old n haggard..
if i had the time , money & energy, i like to travel to differnt parts of the world to experience different food, culture , c more things & perhaps try dating people of various ethnics.. do i sound like some weird gal who cant settle for someting..
After the failed relationship, during the past 6 months or so, i have emerged a stronger person that i imagined. Its just that having someone is not as simple as it was for me when i m in my teens,its more than just getting along with each other & oso growing with each other mentally.If nt the relationship gets stagnant at that level & even more mundane than ever, having to have someone foriegn sleeping beside you to find that you r even more lonely with another person beside you.
I have this friend of mine, in fact someone whom i havent seen for the past 2 yrs we were online & she asks me out for coffee..so she told me she had this bf who just refused to ans her calls or reply to her sms for 2 weeks, n my fren was like .. still waiting for him to reply if they should continue on being together.. n this poor fren of mine was terribly upset that things were hanging half way.How could a man behave like this... really indecisive n wishy washy. If tings dun turn out well, so b it then..She has this fear which i believed most people have.. afraid of losing someone ideal at this moment, nt finding someone on par or better than the current one..this is especially even more scary if age catches up for felmales. For better or for worse, i 'll rather make the decison than letting others manipulating on my emotions. I have learnt to develop this self protecting shield , not allowing nasty men or people to ruin on me..call it self centred or insensitive , as i grow older , this shield gets thicker as the years goes by , so tats well most people develop strong friendship when we are much younger as we r more innocent n forgiving.
yeah... finally i m starting to feel tired , makes me normal that i can sleep.. more updates.. to be continued...
its quite a day for me since my exam for my exemption unit is over.. summer holiday for my course starts in July.. long break ahead ...
Came back from my clubing sesson with one of my close frens.. had a couple of drinks, partying n people watching on those cute hunks n hot chicks in the bar...
Recently I have this thinking on how time really flies... for each of us. Its like just yesterday when you were just a kid n now you got to face certain issues in your life and problem solve it as you progess to certain stages .
Sometimes its good to handle things on your own n c for urself how it really turns out given in your best n wise decision that you make.
its been quite a while since i was on "reflective " mode.. as I observe and look around, certainly the people i c , interact do inflict a certain emotion in me & how would i react if i were in their shoes .
currently i have been freed of all the hassle with this ex of mine, which we have a bizzare relationship somehow or rather since his mother is my client. I still hear things about him , which i tink he really ought to think for himself on his ambitions, goals to set him more focused in his career path & not let people down whom has high hopes on him.
I would describe this ex of mine as a lost kid somehow & I was the nanny taking the lead to hold him & guide him.Hes a nice man, simple person who is contented n comfortable with his present pace & environment. However to survive well in a "jungle" we have to be ahead , plan things ahead & sure of why we want to do certain things to achieve certain objectives that we set outselves rather just doing it for the sake of it, I believe this will value add on our goals n act as a better motivation. I cant be a babysitter because i like to help people, i hope he can stand on his own one day without someone to push him.
Recently i just switched to a different path in the banking industry, & it certainly brings me some insights of common people since i m in the front line.There r lots of stories from my clients n everyday i hear different complains as well sometimes their problems as well n somehow my own problems seems to be smaller than i thought before.
I never imagined i would be in this line , strangly i 've grown to be fond of it.. someone on msn , my ex boss was chatting with me n asked me what was my passion... i started to think veri hard.. n then i convinced myself.. well i like travelling or rather i love travelling n perhaps being a tour guide would be interested than some banker...hahahaha...but this job is rather short lived, well i cant travel when i m old n haggard..
if i had the time , money & energy, i like to travel to differnt parts of the world to experience different food, culture , c more things & perhaps try dating people of various ethnics.. do i sound like some weird gal who cant settle for someting..
After the failed relationship, during the past 6 months or so, i have emerged a stronger person that i imagined. Its just that having someone is not as simple as it was for me when i m in my teens,its more than just getting along with each other & oso growing with each other mentally.If nt the relationship gets stagnant at that level & even more mundane than ever, having to have someone foriegn sleeping beside you to find that you r even more lonely with another person beside you.
I have this friend of mine, in fact someone whom i havent seen for the past 2 yrs we were online & she asks me out for coffee..so she told me she had this bf who just refused to ans her calls or reply to her sms for 2 weeks, n my fren was like .. still waiting for him to reply if they should continue on being together.. n this poor fren of mine was terribly upset that things were hanging half way.How could a man behave like this... really indecisive n wishy washy. If tings dun turn out well, so b it then..She has this fear which i believed most people have.. afraid of losing someone ideal at this moment, nt finding someone on par or better than the current one..this is especially even more scary if age catches up for felmales. For better or for worse, i 'll rather make the decison than letting others manipulating on my emotions. I have learnt to develop this self protecting shield , not allowing nasty men or people to ruin on me..call it self centred or insensitive , as i grow older , this shield gets thicker as the years goes by , so tats well most people develop strong friendship when we are much younger as we r more innocent n forgiving.
yeah... finally i m starting to feel tired , makes me normal that i can sleep.. more updates.. to be continued...
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