Sunday, December 09, 2007
the heartbreaker kid
it depicts how modern relationship can happen such episodes as described in the movie but however in a more exagerated manner. such is tat when it comes to relationship. people often do not rationalise n jump into the relationship n fail to understand each other which leads to other problems later in the relationship
i seen how wq n viv is still entangled in the love lorn problemactic vicious cycle when hes still to obstinate in his thinking. believing that there is still hope of reconcilationm but the root of the problem lies that because of his naive n childish behavior , being together is short lived , knowing my old pal's character, her tolerance for his tantrums would be limited as well
as for myself knowing carefully that pb is a passive person whos always been this manner , would also continue this way. so there is no room for negotation for reconcilation either, the cycle of waiting n waiting , n the feeling of being unwanted is such a pathetic n miserable past of the previous failed relationship
since there is no room for compromising to another person. the conclusion is such tat hes a selfish person n there wont be any happines in the long run if i choose to shoulder all the unhapiness n later recognise there is no reciprocal in the end. finally its going to be much more painful than expected . knowing that there is no outcome . possibilites in an impossible character
i m glad i thought past this point n i n living happily on my own. finding my own happiness in every way, i have my close frens to count on when i have my bad day, n nt bitter about being unappreciated which is y i made the right choice although i do still have some feelings . after all i m still human.opening my options n taking some of the prevoius remarks seriously n bracing my myself up. grilling up for better phsyique n stamina does oso boast my personal ego n confidence
when i saw lila in the character , with her loud n wild character. it reminded me of who i was a couple of years ago while i was with the veri first relationship
nice plot made me thought deeper than usual
this was some review frm a fellow patron who left his remark on the net
If you think thru deep enuff, you really can learn a great deal about yr relationship thru the show......"do we really know and understand the person together w/ you, be it for 6 weeks, 6 yrs, or even 60 yrs? how far would you go to accommodate, compromise, tolerate etc, for the sake of the r/s? What is trust, and what is lying in a r/s? giving in to temptations? or stay faithful?............enjoy moments of laughter while "learning" abt r/s frm this movie......enjoy.........
Thursday, December 06, 2007
finally i pulled through the 4th day in bukit panjang
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
freaking tired after travelling daily for 3hrs
shes damn lame
damn bloody strict
almost blow up
another 2 more days.. n she will be on holiday
shes domineering n stringent
another 8 more days back to host branch .
how i miss my dear sweet boss..in js
Sunday, December 02, 2007
finishing 21.1km for stancharted run in 3hr15min
the run.. went there at abt 6am this morning n now 7hrs later
6.15pm ended e run abt 9.30am
guess who i bump into consectively pb who is so unexpected , we had intended to participate the run together when we were discussing abt it last yr this time
n i cut him which is quite an achievement
Friday, November 30, 2007
review from 2006- current 2007 301107
recalling the days of being a newbie , being bullied , difficult boss & mean colleagues who did not really bother to teach me some of the things which iwas unsure of .
my inital days of the work was like some lost lamb trying to fish my way out of the dark tunnnel. on some instances , i got to call an old fren of mine for help.. J without her guidance i believe i will not be able to achieve some skills that i have till today
my new boss has been giving me a lot of support as well. refering me n encouraging to take on more tasks n challenges.
but then again i am not very eager yet to take on the challenge, mainly due to the fact that my academic achievement has not been achieved or completed.
Since the series of bad turns & more exposure to foriegners , chinese speaking clients , also partly due to a new assistant or colleague from china . my level of chinese has greatly improved because consciously i have been reminding myself to read chinese novels , newspapers n practise speaking better chinese without the local singlish chinese terms which we commonly used that are not widely understood by other overseas chinese.
my tour to tw has brought me a deeper understanding in terms of superb service, the visit to other banks also broaden my concept of receiving excellent service from a customer point of view and as a service provider, service excellence
these days, i tend to refer sales not only with the product benefit but also a genuine concern on growing customers' wealth
therefore when my clients can sense my sincerity on their portfolio, they are more open to my suggestions & not just blindly following our recommendations.
the mass banking portfolio has led me more insight of the living condition of the lower income group.
The personal touch to deliver a lost client's wallet to her place gave me whole new perspective of the older generation these days, not only she stayed in a small n cramped area. i realize how strong she was as a 90yr old folk to take care of her daugher in her 50s who was mentally less inclined . Beneath that iron steel n determined look of hers lies such strong character that i couldnt comprehend much.
there was a elderly gentleman who described my organisation as the "junk bank" due to logo which was shaped like a chinese junk.
He mentioned that in his younger days, he came from the rival company known as the match stick bank.
regardless of whether he meant it as " junk" or not "junk" i should relate it as an insulting term to myself as well as the organisation. Simply mean
Colleagues come & go, better ones can chat up. nt so close one . just maintain an amicable terms with a hi bye relationship n some occasional greeting
next week would be a new week covering some new branch. bukit panjang is a far far away place from friendly eastie, anticapating the new yet political environment. heard a lot from them especially a strict superior does not help to ease my mind , the uneasiness which will land on me.
despite the prempt difficulties ahead of me, the determination to survive well in hostile n foriegn environment is always in my head to stay calm & to be able to adapt well in anykind of tough situation that i m in. which will better prepare me in the next battlefield
i m grateful to those who have lent me a hand as well as those who mocked at me. without their efforts to lecture at me or to smirk at me , i wont be able to stand on my own feet to face the troubles . currently as the so called more senior personnel , i constantly face a lot of new n strange enquires n possible difficult questions , maintaining a cool mind is tough without being offended n taking in more personal remarks
my fellow colleague is nominated & undergoing some form of tasks for the eligible bacherotte, hopefully everyting goes well smoothly for her & my covering of the relief work.
the recent case of the dragon boat accident is like some tragic incident on 5 youths. such a waste fated though. such is life when some events had to happen
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
si bei tulan with the unexpected guest in my house
at least i said my piece to him. recent unhappiness that was bottled up. tink if i dun explode feel veri imbalanced
below r some the messages which i convey to my lesbian buddy
i just told my bro off
That was my last piece before he left
GET LOST ! I HAVE NO MORE PATIENCE FOR U. N IF U WANT TO BRING UR GF UP . I HAVE A BROOM READY N I WILL USE E BROOM TO CHASE HER OUT,, N I HATE HER
life sucks no matter wat you do you can't seems to keep their mouth shut says:
life sucks no matter wat you do you can't seems to keep their mouth shut says:
wat can i say
life sucks no matter wat you do you can't seems to keep their mouth shut says:
its all s fault mah
sam says:
tat is me rite
life sucks no matter wat you do you can't seems to keep their mouth shut says:
then wat he say
sam says:
he mumbered something ., i will move out anyway
sam says:
i ask him to get lost then. dun give trouble to e family
tat woman didnt come to my house then but i have been wanting to tell my bro off
i already told him i have warned him if he still doesnt get it i will personally tell tat woman off. i told him straight that you dun respect our father or the family because all the tings that you have done is just not giving respect to him as the owner of the house. but all along we only keep quiet if not would have just chased her away
sam says:
i ask him to watch out. continue on . n u better be careful tat our late mother will surely not let u off !@
sam says:
tis is quit e intimidating rite.. tis is wat my bro2 teach me one . as a last resort
sam says:
hahaha
my fire has subsided a bit.
Monday, November 19, 2007
191107
2 of my frens & my dad
one of which is someone whom i celebrated with in ikoi restuarant last yr today
so fast one yr liao.. 4yrs since i split with ed, 2 yrs with goose n almost coming to 1 yr with pb
everyone seems to be blissfully attached with their significant other
no mood to start revising
all resit units. when i start to flip the first page.. i get deep down demoralised wondering why i didnt clear in the first place
Monday, November 12, 2007
ending.. back to home sweet home tw trip 5/11/07- 13/11/7
day 2 :Tai chung,feng jia Night market,xi men ding. taipei 101
Day 3 : tainan,anping lao jie
Day 4 : kaoshiung
Day 5 : Kenting, visited the zhuoying hospital
Day 6:southern part. cat head nose , er luan pi
Day 7: Liu fu chun amusement
wu fen pu.. remember this most coz i was pick pocketed at this place
Rou he Night market
Day 8 : Back home to Singapore
things i really miss taiwan: the climate.nt the cold or rainy one. 20-23 degrees or sothe windy cooling one.. the xiao chi.. wholesale in wu fen pu; cheap clothes n nice design the veri cute taiwanese who helped me during my trip.. liao dao.. my guide who was such a humourous n knowledgable man. a retail staff by the name of xiao ting who was such a big help in her professional in her recommendation which made me look slimer. of course, by maintaining my diet, n not adapting to the climate n food there n unhealthy sleeping schedule did contribute for sliming. the 8 day trip did pull my family bond closer as a result my little nephew sticks to me at times. the young butler at this fu jun hotel in taipei looks charming who bears a slight resemblance like one of the singer in fei lun hai. yan ya lun . hes quite a nice smile n directed me to the police station near the hotel i stayed n provided much assistance. the tour group which i joined were all nice n jovial people..especially sharon who lent me a hand when i slipped n fell in qiu fen
carrying the baby pram around is no joke especially travelling for long hours & changing hotels everyday like 6 hotelsin 8 days
back to singapore brings me to the things which i have taken for granted like the political stability ,cleanliness, toilet, safety, multi language heritage n the unique singlish , fellow singaporeans share.
the close proximity from one place to another is only a mere 30mins or so latest by cab, car, no natural disasters. strong currency . n some of the efficiency i c among most services in most companies
being bilingual with the basic language of english n chinese brings me certain advantages especially among the asian countries , with not much difficulties , its easy to blend in with the 2 most prodominent languages used widely.
however during the taiwan trip, obviously i was not used to the primary language , chinese. pu tong hua as the main communication mode , besides i was educated using english so initally the switch to communicate with some of the locals there was quite a challenge.
the transport system is quite chaotic , during my first day of the 8-day trip in taiwan, i was totally bewildered n bizzared by some of their methods adopted, the style of the english n some of the jargon used . sometimes when i listen to their radio channels or watch tv , there are bound to be some chinese which i dont quite get it
i learnt to be more polite towards my customers during this trip n picked up some dressing etiqutte. oh mine, all of them are so well dressed n groomed in the service n retail industry, if they could improve in their english standards i tink this will bring them further in the region.
I met up with this ntu lecturer who is sitting beside me on the way back frm tw to sg on a sq flight, just had this instant instinct that she looked like a teacher to me .. n most importantly was a english teacher. call it my sixth sense or wat. she was on a 4day business trip in taipei for some conference to help the taiwanese to improve on the standard of the language efficiency
the trip back frm kaoshiung back to the capital taipei can take abt 5 hrs.. most of the time.. we can be dozing off from time to time which is someting that i m not used to it back to cozy home town over here
this entry is procastinated much long n delayed about 1 week or so . was much in holiday mood didnt have a lot of focus when i returned to work on 14/11/07
17/11/07 ocbc family day -- lousy event
18/11/07
met up with the gals coz one of them was back frm a japan trip/ nice bitching session
went for a facial juz now.. attended a family dinner @ tony roma's at suntec to celebrate my old bean's birthday which is currently today 19/11/07
it is also pb's n bro zane's birthday was contemplating whether to send a birthday sms to them. in the end decided nt to anyway .. with which pondering in my mind was 3 words that sprung up.. whats e point ?
i c more friends getting married.. pregnant with their child.. some which i heard getting married at a young age n then divorced first, second time which i ponder if i can really belive in marriage n seein my own bro in his all messed up love life with someone so complicated. 2 kids of 2 different fathers n now with my bro whos also someone nt suitable marrigable candidate.
the one for me seems far n unreachable. able to stay carefree n free spirted is such a luxury . singlehood can also be fun as well.. with some spinsterhood fellow jie mei.. last min travel plans..
able to focus on my personal goals
splurging on my own expenses without having much worries.its perhaps i have totally lost confidence in the men which i dated... having gained n lost is such agony.
the mixed emotions that contantly runs in my mind still strikes a terror deep within me. of course nowadays i do still keep an open mind . casually browsing around but i c no suitable candidate.
besides i dun wanna settle for second best
i was tinking long n deep that with such character i portray, i cannot be a good homemaker n some times i can get so wilful n short tempered n capricious i guess not much men can get along with me
pb is a nice fren but not a gd lover to maintain long relationship
the secretivness n freedom he gives doesnt justify the seriousness in his part
now almost 6 months apart.. i tend to give myself space to digest the unhappines n put it aside n live day to day happily. simply appreciating all the happy things i have now n all the good news i share
of course bro worm's plight did create an impact in my selection n my view point in relationship on how men n women can change so drastically over a decade n how married people can also continue to indulge in infidity while they already have such a happy family scene
i also observe the couples in my family bicker non stop n i find it a bore sometimes
till the day i can seek my own happines.. wish me luck in my career now.. getting even better n better .smooth transition n more sales n compliments many more good tings to come for me..
good grades for exam in 2008
good men r hard to come by.. really...
completed the 10km run in sept. 21km for stanchart run in dec.. hope my stamina is good.
next month is my bdae month as well as christmas run should plan for a 3 day break for my birthday n relax.. pamper myself well
1.03
19/11/07
Thursday, November 08, 2007
tw..tw
the weather has been wet in taipei & the trip has been enjoyable so far
last nite i was juz so much in insonmia that i couldnt sleep in taipei , maybe due to too much caffeine n food at nite. slept abt 3 hrs so far on average
wake up at abt 6-7am daily n i sleep ard 2 or 3 in the morning. to top it up i was thinking or rather remicsing the past in my room tryin my best to get to sleep . with the help of the local channels. in a foriegn place. e last thing on my mind , well cant be helped too
besides the good place to write is oso during the trip
taipei alone is a city that never sleeps with endless nite market n food all over..
stinky tofu, fried sotong, chicken .. hao da chi pie , theme cave restuarant
cute ah bing gege at the memorial hall
n oso the people here is juz so polite. their bazzar is endless
ximeng ting.. i blow abt 7000Nt.. which is like i spend over S$300 plus in a shop which is impressive... i dont do this often though
at tis hr,, at a rundown or rather nt so developed taichung. e hotel is old reminds me of the run in bencoolen..
red carpet.. chinese setting.
tml is the 4th day.. hot spring
tainan
kaoshiung
n then back to taipei & friendly singapore in another 4 more days
8/11/07
0100
Saturday, November 03, 2007
bro worm n his funny moves
my bro worm's latest squeeze
i cant imagine after e tw trip back . wat would it be like
Thursday, October 18, 2007
181007
i didnt give up on myself
dieting. havent been eating much for dinner
runninh preparing for GE run
burryinh myself in work
less gossip during work
sleeping more like 10 pm..
68 down to 63..
50 is the ideal..
try 60 first.. 55 then 50
7kg.. i can do it.. 5kg is gone especially the butt area
improvise various methods to slim down without harming my body
221007 10km GE>>> YEAHHhhhhhhh
Sunday, September 30, 2007
warm sun
e week has gone by in a flash. unknowingly its the nth day since i last communicated with PB its about 120 days now..
on the 15th day of the lunar month which is consequently also mid autumn festival that day.. last tuesday during lunch i went to the temple near my office n drew a divination lot . guess it did boast my ego coz it kinda nice n motivating
time can rob a person of its senses , as the days pass , my sensory glands just go numb towards emotions. n the remnants of what it remains does nt sting now
the past 120 days i had is like a whirlwind another 100 days or so would be 2008.
slowly it corrodes my mind. erroding my memories that i vaguely remember still , selected scenes of what ought to be ,
i had a early nite for sat last evening . approximately sleeping abt 12 hrs . n waking up early for a morning jog
星期六晚上 哪都不想去 也无法入睡 看着电视机 持续...星期六深夜 我想起了你 没什么特别 只是回忆 你让我自由 我很感激 星期六深夜 永远不会有任何人能代替你 星期六.
星期六的深夜
星期六晚上
哪都不想去
也无法入睡
看着电视机
持续在发呆
喝了七分醉
闭上了眼睛
试着不想你
但已来不及
忘了如何
让眼泪停止流下
还好没人看见
没人会说话
星期六深夜
我想起了你
没什么特别
只是回忆
你让我自由
我很感激
星期六深夜
永远不会有任何人
能代替你
星期六晚上
哪都不想去
也无法入睡
看着电视机
持续在发呆
喝了七分醉
闭上了眼睛
试着不想你
但已来不及
忘了如何
让眼泪停止流下
还好没人看到
没人会说话
星期六深夜
我想起了你
没什么特别
只是回忆
你让我自由
我很感激
星期六深夜
永远不会有任何人
能代替你
这就是遗憾的滋味
陪着我形影不离
明天我会面带微笑
但无法忘记你
li hom ' ssongs is just so emotional enaging...
still remember this song 第一個清晨
entangling those scenes that i cant forget that easily
forgeting is gd therapy
at least it gets out of your chest n u stop brooding all the possible outcome n possibilities
been busy preparing the for upcoming run n mentoring my new colleague. jiao ( x2)
was watching lim hom's you tube for his 我们的歌]庆功演唱会.:.
impressive. quite a stunner
however i find that rain'es new hairdo horrendous.. jelly look a alike
terrible image consultant but a bold change afterall it has created a impression remembering that jellyfish head.
n also occasionally doing stretches , crunches to slim those problem areas
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
sulky tuesday as well
rough time getting out of bed ,seems like a long time since i had a good massage
the therapy resulted me feeling more sore n the outcome was i couldnt sleep well as usual
woke up ard 7 n i still dont feel fresh coz i was having weird dreams all night
i still got a lump in my throat which i dun feel ok with it.
need to shout my lungs out or go on a holiday spree to curb such a sulkyattitude syndrome
enough of those 2 who i dunno is up to which sleeve
pissing me off to end my day as if my monday is nt bad enough
my dad is the victim as usual when i asked him if hes homel ast evening coz theres no way i can rush back in time coz i was stil rushing my work to boss
gave him a scolding over the phone which shocked my crew
they all thought that i was quite a fierce gal on the phone
as usual veri angry with the 2 sales staff i got.. simply pushing me products.simply nt treating me like a customer
freaking pissed off!
Monday, September 24, 2007
lousy monday
i was damn pissed off which i simply jsut talked back to her because i no longer can stand the way she speaks to us .
the open fire lasted for about 10 secs but i can sense that i am about to yell at her any moment n that wouldnt be nice to any colleague for a short stay
i can imagine if shes my mum then it will be ended in chaos & fights as usual
forget about that bitch sam, shes always like that as despicable as usual usually attack me when the boss is not around
the examination of my door that creaks so often reveals that i have been slamming too much of my door
btw my taiwan's trip has been confirmed & i m just about to log on to apply for my annual leave , 8 more days n it will be forfeited if i do not use up all these leave
was about to log in and submit to black face for approval when hes back on tues another 1 more day of tolerance
Friday, September 21, 2007
210907 jsb
everything is still the same
going on everyday
i posted my bank draft just now
another $800 is blown away
the laughing from the meeting room is just so atrocious
the pfc from the thomson branch is so flirtatious, her laughter reminds me of a slut from moulin rouge
haiz
now i only can blog during office hours as my com is down wata sad fact
but the good thing is i can focus on my studies without loggin on the com
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
numb with life. going with the flow
updates which oso imply i m spending more sundays at home with my family . tinking lesser of someone who is no longer important. i do hope he is getting on fine as well in his studies
anyway its a nice feeling . nt overly worried sad or happy . so called empty window zone
e trip to taiwan in nov 07 with my dad n bro would b a nice period to recuperate n also a best time to chill with my family
i havent thought so far on getting to know someone new as for now. kinda happy with now
that i have no one to look forward to go out with . that someone is waiting for me
i guess the recent case just cracked me up. finding a reliable man is still e better option out there or taking good care of my self on my own works just as well
i m in the meeting room with the survillence around me but i dun care . since i got someone to take care of the branch
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Friday, August 31, 2007
好多好多的话想对你说
突然发现为什么脆弱时候想你更多
如果你也听说有没有想过我
想普通交朋友还是你依然会心疼我好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落要怎么附和舍不得又无可奈何
如果你也听说会不会相信我
对流言会附和还是你知道我还是我
跌跌撞撞才明白了许多懂我的人就你一个
想到你想起我胸口依然温柔
如果你也听说许多话题关于我就连我也有听过
我想我宁可都沉默
其实反而显得做作夜
把心洋葱般剥落拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候
想你更多
如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我
好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落要怎么附和舍不得
又无可奈何
so tis song speaks a lot of emotions..
i manage to know about this songn was listening halfway when i realize the lyrics somewat looked familar from somewhere
Thursday, August 30, 2007
1230 300807
n after listening to one ofmy close buddy's problem i find myself lossening up
at work still got room for improvement
to minimise those elementary mistakes
still the anxiety continues to bug on. e agony of nt clearing the unit results in retake n e repeat agony episode
跌跌撞撞才明白了许多 好多好多的话想对你说 .. i dunno wat this means frm him but it doesnt matter anymore
exam result to be released all the suspense is too much man. today is the 30th..
everytime resut come out since o level its been like tat
Sunday, August 19, 2007
family car smashed on 19/8/07
my chest suffered a blow with an impact. juz nw.
esmond's jaw got a cut while aunite may got a little bump on her head. while bro 2 had a backache. spent abt 2 hrs at SGH A&E before going for dinner
they are so many ppl at the A & E on a sunday evening.pretty bad .. maybe singaporeans r quite careless haha
wat a so memorable chinese valentine's day
7th day of 7th month
qi qiao jie
junction opp pearl centre, passenger in the cab was also injured poor gal.. victimised.on e way to meet her client able to put on seat belt oso hit her leg n left arm. wat a jinx...
e cabby got a male spokes person to represent her.. goodness he was so rude didnt even bother to ask if we are all rite. seeing all the kids cry..
didnt even had the decency to apologise either .
wat a shame
luckily we were ok only minor scratches here n there
if e whole car of us were injured. then wat would have been the ending then
our lives would have been at her mercy then
commit mistake still not repentent at all.. tat kind of behavior is disgusting
Saturday, August 18, 2007
health is wealth
he used to be such a arrogant person. nw his movement is small now hes like i feel so sorry fo him.dependent for the nurse for the most basic tings like going to the toilet
its so sudden when i receive sms frm him tat he got admitted n had to be bedridden .
as long as we lead a balanced n guilt free lifestyle i tink even if we leave this worlkl we wont regret that much
catch a movie todayn had a nice haircut n shunji.. friendly stylist..n met up with nelly n miss cool
hehe
slowly i seem to forget all about polar bear. with other frens in the social circle. jp is like a fren. close pal who always jio me out for dinner on sun n also a sports khaki..
but i guess after a bad turn in life we can c the gd tings we ahve an appreciate the better tings in life
so comparing to the hectic lifestyle . sch n worj n prvious breakup its like y situation is nothing as compared
its a interesting fact tat lifes of ups n downs does create a balanced port folio. when lifes too perfect, its either too perfect or usually short lived
i m glad that after many mis fortune oi m fondo f thebetter luck recently.. nice boss. improved relationshp with lzl
my dad.. help him to settle his mobile phone gadget problem c him always play with phone c liaio oso get a bit irritated coz hes always seen figeting with his handset
tml anyway i will spend some time with papa since sun only day to relax
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
all refreshed after MC
which is perhaps i have learnt to flow with the wind, all my sorrows dumped in the rubbish bin after work,, relaxing after a nice meal or even a tasty dessert to neutralise the bitterness in reality
its s a nice feeling .. calm after work. nice shower , gathering with the frens earlier outside
.eventually i came to a consensus life can be happier n simplier without a special someone as well
its the company that counts
pretty relaxed being a swinging bachorettte. with many choices to date many other ppl, which is oso nt a bad idea also.
listening to sad songs while bloggin g is also quite a therapy
penning down random musings
recall about happy n unpleasant events . pondering over them for a while .. while trying to figure whats the best solution to best handle each situation
todays the 15th.. already 1 yr since we first met at city hall..
last yr in 2006, the first movie we watched was "click" . which turned out we didnt really click
i learnt to let go the hatred i harbour for him
the unwillingness
slowly going in other dates with other frens
enjoying my self with each individual
like going steamboat with zk n the rest of the gang. attending the evita opening with them
accepting his running dates
time cant heal
its the individual
whether u can convince ur previous mistake
hes is kinda subtle approach
caring person
known him for abt 1 yr perhaps close to 2
exceptfor a little naggy n crappy . guess hes quite nice afterall
Sunday, August 12, 2007
down with flu
one word to describe = spectecular
attended the evita opening as well
after tat i been sneezing like a cow
planning to report sick tml
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
getting out of the nutshell n coming to terms with reality
chill out at clarke quay at one of tis pub which reminds me of a clinic
quite a nice cozy environment
these days n nite i still miss him so much
another guy has been trying to ask me out havent want to reply him
in a daze. still cant get over it completely
although i m n my most normal mode. laughinh happily in office. performing my best
when nite falls its like my as usual down mode after a while it becomes a routine for me
when i on my way to work. i recall all the happy events i do with him till now..71days...
its been like this...
i cannot let go of him
i m reluctant to move on
i dunno wats so gd abt him. some times i wish theres was such tings known as wang qing sui so i wont get so agonised over him
sometimes when i c him online . i have the urge to pm him. but then i realize nothinh tat ican do more now to smoothen between us
i can no t treat him like transparent
yet both of us have this unanimous tension which is like a .. pls dun mess with me again or bother with my affairs
hes a nice man . but i cant break within my own zone
he asked me out for fireworks n e movies
i wonder if hes also havingsleping problem.
does he even miss me or hesreally moving on fine on his own
these days i dun cry easily now..
im thankful for the gd things thati shappening to me now
i thank him for being my shadow for me n the shade thatprovides me shelter to seek refuge
i want to completely juz erase him..can i .
Sunday, August 05, 2007
family dinner
quite relaxing.. bowlling challenge next weekend
sounds good. looking forward to that
dad is off to babysit xavier coz e nanny s not available
so hes off .. not home today
after 2 days of stayin at hom e for family . feels a bit weird
if we had still bee n together 12/8/07 would be our first yr anniversary
unfortunately tings did not happen this way
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Thursday, August 02, 2007
whens its time to move on its is.. juz like birds who leave their mothers to fly south
its a gd opportunity
i will seize the chance to prove myself otherwise i can be a gd n meticulous workers which i have beenworking towards sinc the first day i started working.
ehehe
will have to find time to inform the arrangement for the transfer.
later in the evening i got attend MSm @ SAA. pay the sch fees n act like a studetn once again
the routine lifestyle of student n a full time working adult
its been quite a no of hectic working culture back here since posb last launched last month
& also some updates like changing of the new coporate uniform oso
its a yet refreshing banking experience in amk hub since my first visit @
the sunday banking branch
went to SAA for class..nt bad environment small class of 10 . focus is gd
第一个清晨
tis song was like a first song we listen together while we go dating the first time by lee hom
quite memrable as he held on the waist n hug me frm the back while this little singer at the stage while we watchedfrm level 2 at this out door performance
mathemactics is quite an interesting unit in UOL
on the 12/08. it s the first date i went out with him n now 2008 . no longer together . can never watch such live performance frm above in each other's arms
its a pity.
how i wish wat if i had continued on. wat if he were nt such a character would he be of acceptable standard to me
its during those late nights. my brain continue to work backwards. rewinding the sweet old past memories i cling on
its 1247 in the morning now.. hope to get a gd nite sleep n wonderful dreams of those sweet memories
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
................
cash officer
SAMmie says:
SAMmie says:
can go up to AM rank if i do gd enough
SAMmie says:
e max rank is CSM
SAMmie says:
customer service manager
¿ says:
wat so of going tat gh
SAMmie says:
or foriegn bank.. as in credit control.. risk management
¿ says:
its the title tat make u feel glam
SAMmie says:
its a kind of satisfaction
SAMmie says:
progression/
¿ says:
no life
SAMmie says:
cant be stagnent
quite interesting to discover fraud n investigate e possible errors n problem n the solution to such complex financial problem
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
dilenma again
have to reply boss by thursday. dunno le like veri fast have to progress to the next level
Sometimes the best opportunities are the ones you create by simply asking for them."
Sunday, July 29, 2007
lazy weather on sun
had dinner with my family
a lot of eateries. nice scenary , great drum performance
went to central mall to shop nice mall
so does long distance relationship. some reply i posted on flowerpod
I used to be in a LDR, first met my first SO when i was 16, shortly i had to send him to the airport on the first day of my poly in yr2 , subsequently he flew back to holiday after 6 months & 1.5 years later , he completed his degree.I was rather young then. always thought first love were more of experimental n i could afford the time n effortI was quite immature then n initally I wanted to break off with him coz i couldnt take the pressure in school then n i sunk in depression after he left to aust.He cried on the phone to tell me nt to leave him as such i was quite soft hearted then so it dragged onDuring the 2 yrs while he was in aust , we msn, emailed , n i was touched when he had to drive 2 hrs back n fro to get a phonecard during winter which we can chat throught the lan phone for 1 hr on a sat night.We were appreciative of the small things we did for each other, like surprise parcel on birthdays, anniversary, like a surprise courier from aust.. a little forever friend bear on my 17th birthday, n i sent him a vcr of me.while hes back in singapore for holiday , would find time to do things together. like taking his cat , Nick to the vet.. lazing on the couch eating junk food.After we started working, call it transition stage or wat. our views n values start to differ. we drifted apart . & after 4 years together, we decided to call it quits.Besides he was 6 yrs older , had high expectation of me, sometimes he forgotten i was still a young gal hen.remembered bumping into him in a gym after 2 yrs we broke off. had coffee before he left singapopore again , this time to be a PR in aust n to continue his masters' degreeWe could then sit down peacefuly without debating on the usual issues , that time i was attached then.We broke off since 2003 , i guess hes happy in aust with a younger gal now in UNi. although we didnt make it in LDR, i was glad i gone through it ,learnt a lot in a the relationship, commitment , understanding n wanting to make thing s happen together. I wonder if theres this such thing that puppy love really dun last as much as we want it to.If i were a little more mature in handling my emotions , perhaps we would have been married by now.. perhaps
xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxooxoxxoxxoxooxoxx
well that was all in the past past memories , some unpleasant which we would choose to forget n keep this other side of ur brain compartment. so occassionaly u do miss those sweet old days being together. doing silly things , entertaining each other. one term my ex colleague used during dinner .. "Guo ri zi"
todays wet weather affected my schdule as well. unable to join zk n gang for badminton
blogging 's a cool n objective method to let go of negative emotions
Friday, July 27, 2007
there is such thing as similar object, similar people
so when he left the branch. i was still trying to reason .. my behavior today..
normally i wont stare at the person for more than 3 secs which is the norm. i stare at him for about 10 secs at least. n i peeep at him while hes on the phone. that is so abnormal of me today. totally unprofessional
however i manage to keep this tone of mine calm. oh dear..
so there is such things as similar people Look alike syndrome
planning to meet the colleagues for another round of gossiping session
more up update later this evening
Thursday, July 26, 2007
steamboat for dinner later
relaxing @ the branch now
lu might be giving a treat hehehe
tml going st james.. hehehhe so relaxed.
since its the holidays now .
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
dilenma.. where to get e $ . n evaluating my choices
i joined the flowe pod community
i asked jan some financial aid.
after all i got another 2 more months before result is out anyway
went grocery shopping.. with dad. stock up on a lot of tibits , milk.. biscuits
when i think of you again.. frm jiang mei qi is my latest sms ringtoneagain
the lyrics is quite depicictive of my mood recently
刚刚风无意吹起花瓣随着风落地我看见多么美的一场樱花雨闻一闻的茶的香气哼一段旧时旋律要是你一定欢天喜地你曾经坐在这里谈吐得那么阔气就像是所有幸福都能被预期你打开我的手心一切都突然安静你要我承接你的真心花季虽然会过去今年明年有一样的风情相爱以为是你给的美丽让我惊喜让我庆幸我有一生的风景命运插手得太急我来不及全都要还回去从此是一段长长的距离偶尔想起总是欷虚如果当初懂珍惜我知道眼泪多余笑变得好不容易特别是只能面对回忆和空气多半的自言自语是用来安慰自己也许你字字句句倾听
我想我还要继续学习悲伤的时候不闭上眼睛趁眼泪还没有形成前就蒸发到空气里我想我还要继续努力听完了情歌可以不决堤那些蠢蠢欲动爱的回忆会让思念都哭泣当我想起你有一种绝望的灰心总会让街头某个相似背影惹得忍不住伤心当我又想起你是我躲避不及的原因总以为可以否定你的爱情却在不成眠的夜我又想起你
谁的眼泪最让我伤心谁的手握得住一时的甜蜜谁的依赖给我坚强的自信谁的话又感动我的眼睛是谁日日夜夜念着我从来不放弃爱我的人啊不抱怨不猜疑不乱发脾气谁说平凡然的感情比不上天使的美丽爱我的人啊有颗善良的心不随手妒忌谁说平凡人的幸福像是天堂遥不可及谁的名字最不能忘记谁的口气还在我耳边吹不停谁的真情不辜负一片好意谁的想念能感染一个世纪
不知为什么你又出现在我梦中你凝望着我像什么事都没发生过你沉默脸孔仿佛有话想要说我等了好久梦醒了若你发现我难过是因为你造成的是否你敢伸出手像我当初勇敢伸手拥抱你过若你只是又寂寞怀念起从前的我只是我没把握如何隐藏爱你的伤口
我爱哭大声的哭你在身边我敢放肆的哭电影感人听情歌我都会哭我爱哭偷偷的哭你清楚却伤我那黱离谱几句话语我的泪却止不住你说分手时候彷佛早就想清楚留我一个躲在角落来不及哭只能傻住我是爱哭鬼我想哭掉对你的思念看著镜子里面没志气的脸然后越哭越后悔我是爱哭鬼我想哭掉对你的依恋我也知道自己这样子不对却还越哭越认真的为谁我不哭我不敢哭哭只会让视线变的模糊视线模糊记忆却会更清楚你说分手时候彷佛早就想清楚留我一个躲在角落来不及哭只能傻住我是爱哭鬼我想哭掉对你的思念看著镜子里面没志气的脸然后越哭越后悔我是爱哭鬼我想哭掉对你的依恋我也知道自己这样子不对却还越哭越认真的可悲
therapy songs to last for the night
to put me to sleep hopefully
i do get into sleepless slumber on some nights
chilly nite on 1249 240707
everyting all right @ work at least no rants for the daily for this entry
had manhattan for dinner. platter of calamari. fish. fries. mussels.
watched invisible target with viv n tb. nice police story with an fast pace exciting plot
a chilly nite after shower n some daily mail checking
juz begin to mind wander n miss him again tonite 280507 till now 240707 almost 60days all in all
its another 2 more months to the new term. yr 3
& 1 more month to academic yr . 2006-2007 exam results which i took earlier
wet weather reminds me of him
some times i miss his touch as well
its likea body warmth that is indesciptable
i know its not healthy to dweel on the past but it see,s impossible tocompletely erase him off my mindin the midst of a chily night coz his warm hug is something i cant forget easily
4 more mins to beauty sleep.. lights out n rest for now.. ^_^
Sunday, July 22, 2007
preparation for GE run
dinner was juz strawberry yogurt
he was like encouraging me to shed those extra pounds
should start for today... no more sucumbing to those fishball noddle
hehe stillcouldnt resist decided on those tomyam maggi n meatball
so after the supper its good
got to prepare for the GE run
last evening was talking about past love with viv n there was this nite while i remember with pb at the marina park . under the stars we gazed at each other.. kissing slowly . gentle n tenderly on the lips, in each other's arms .. close proximity staring straight deeply in each other's gaze
& that was how we started going out together. it was a veri warm hug n a firm grip , his palms were so smooth & warm
its a nice n sweet memory which i like to keep it with me
n that was someting which i didnt hold any grudges with me just yet
indeed sweet thoughts
till now i still cant let go some of the happy memories. this has ditered me from knowing or progressing further with other potential candidates. it does get a little lonely being one sided late in the night thinking about him, missing him , wondering if hes doing fine.. whether hes getting on happily , found someone better for himself , enjoying his work & everything about him. it all seems to impossible to explore
the fear of getting closer taunts me
Friday, July 20, 2007
nt everyone is a fren
simply cant take it tat i was being treated like a fool
i m such a stupif fool as well
lent out my notes . instead of e person returning to me. i still have to get it frm her house n she was nt at home
simply infuriating!
Monday, July 16, 2007
after JC world tour '07
one of his encouragement i remember , is to overcome your possible obstacles n difficulties & after that surely there will be good things awaiting for you.it was indeed heartwarming and consoling despite that reality bites.
he has briefly described the story behind every beautiful song. wrote a song for his daughter, wife n some late frens n shared some of his personal experiences which was refreshing for a change during a chinese concert unlike jolin whos so dumb.
Jolin excels n her forte in dancing is undeniably outstanding,however shes just too quiet in a way
On the contrary for someone middle age, jc is hyperactive , proactive in performing n those ballads, rap, jazz, classic songs.. all the songs were emotionally enagaging
his songs r wat i refered as therapy n it will bring u like some space shuttle back to the days maybe with that special someone u were with based on the story of that particular song in that particular era or timezone
n it will probabbly touch you n cause you to be on the brink of tears.
many times it did work for me, & of course with 23 yrs of experience, he has this knack & ability to do so, like jc some of the artiste might be able to inflict or influence certain emotion on the audience , i happen to be soneone who might be a little emotional
lee xiang lan, wen bie. many more. fantastic n superb singing altough there were some weird sound proabbly due to overexhaustion. nevertheless it was still great performance
lOokinh forward to jacky's next production . musical or so.. can support him
hes got nt many years of youth however can tell that he puts in a lot of effort n has passion to sing like the songbird
a lot of his ballads did bring me back to some past . beautiful memories . that was enough
after yelling in the concert. it relieved some stress level n the money for this show was certainly well spent
Sunday, July 15, 2007
before the concert
another 40 mins before meeting lesbian buddy.. haha
Potter.. transformer
n Love is often depicted in the plot however it describes in the order of phoenix about true friendship . people who often care about u n how to exercise self control & anger management.
its all in you. theres always two sides of a coin be it the good n the evil of a person 's inborned nature.
hehe
team work is important n so is protecting yourself be in the real world or the coporate environment. in terms of danger n difficult times, so to help other as to help yourself
rowling is a wonderful compilation of a young boy's fantasy n often created in magical episodes beautifully pen down in words n graphic images projected in the form of the movie production.
people who genuinely care about u. do influence you so its important to respect them n cherish them
a lot of my movies have been spent with some new found friendship n they were truly a source of my joy n fun spent. n i would remember the happy memories with the bunch of girls i know
Work hasnt been like a breeze. the report was out n we scrape through by sheer luck
i wonder how is jl getting on . it seems to me he has a rather sad nick or perhaps sentimental
he once advised me as a fren pt of view. prawns falter only. n i dun tink i m one. i prefer to be like a silent scopion or a catus who fights back n strong vitality to stay alive
there is a chinese saying , know ur enemy well n u will win the war
its especially true to retaliate with wits n intelligence without violating any rules or risk of tarnishing your own reputation
we work and operate within our own boundaries with limits , scarcity n limited resources. so we got to make the best deal out of it.
if we dun. we might just miss the best deal .
so in order to bite back we have to plan.
after all its not about violence but staying alert n still runing in the rat race
Saturday, July 14, 2007
paparazzi
its just so common with middle aged couple gradually drifting apart n finding someone else in their spare time despite having a lawful partner whom they promise to b in sickness n in good health. maybe tis tis absolutely nonsense
cant help but begin to doubt the meaning of true love n the "so called right one" it doesnt happen for me probabbly or rather those arent the right one to settle for either.
sometings tend to be this way. it will happen eventually n some cant be rushed. its either u meet or u dun. recently the poly ex classmate who got married suddenly tells me this,surprises do happen n may this happen to me as well
if he doesnt appreciate, theres no valid reason for me to be sore about it either
its been about 2 months now , whenever i think over it again, i tell myself n remind again its not worth it. i deserve someone better in fact.
it does helps but the bitterness harboured does diminish But in smaller returns . the thought of getting through this whole ordeal again potentially puts me in a stupor. a fearful state of mind. OH no . nt again.
perhaps the controvesy of the human mind does work differently for the male n female brain
n there r vast differences in the intepretation of a relationship to both sexes regardless of male or female do apply
i remembered JL did mention to me which i disagreed with him, n some conclusion i got is why do i need t oget involved with somone whom i know has no future. its as good as wasting my time with such callibre. e work load has been piling on me n i managed to clear it off my chest before the audit's deadline next week. thankfully its also fortunate that my school started and with the list of priorities n the super tiredness n wearyness i carry on me each day does puts a relief to myself. hey i m free. single . n carefree without the burdens or additional activities n responisbilities that some of my classmate n fren carry at the same age. its tough but rewarding.
maybe i m nt suited to be submissive or family orientated. every fri sat n sun . i find myself disappearing at family dinners or simply not interested to be home .
telling other people to change is always easier than asking urself to change.
e load is lighter when you r on ur own,But the path might not be so smooth , takesa a lot of courage to go through darker alleys alone. i m glad for the lamposts around me or even the little moonlight which shines upon me , those who i consider as my gurdian angels, friends, buddies who watch over u at ur darkest hour. willing to shed some light in your gray zone . fending on ur own secondary becomes a skill & second nature to be able to figure things out on ur own without having any reliance on anyone
ambiqous n new issue still continue to haunt me as i seel every possible are a to explore n try to excercise my empowerment within those constraints which im bounded to.
whether for good or worse . choosing to leave was a wise choice. i was then left with no choice but to choose the latter. there was no better reason t o continue either
it was never meant to be n nothing gd wil l come out of it either
Friday, July 13, 2007
1 more week to bridgingecons
people who have the determination n focus
as for one my classmate whos got family n young children. i salute her despite the physical tiring routine to take care of kids. still manage to come to class desspite e hardship of being a young mother
the fragile frienship thati got . hope to maintain n keep thisnew friend
its really quite a busy week witha new boss.
auditing preparation work
copingwith studies. its like a huge package
suffocating me that i have big pile to settle before i go on a little study break
e part of working to pass time is just quite effective
anyway the interactive result for some survyor came out. as usual my greeting part failed to excel so. this comming month i hope i can stay clear of trouble n score the max pts for july wonder whats like for tml's meeting
i cant imagine myself pregnant n having to miss 3 months of class after the time for confinement
taking care of children n rushing to prepare for final exam
its a journey that i embark. halfway completed .. yet to achieve . way to go
sun- jacky cheung concert.. yeah one big ting to look forward to before exam
Monday, July 09, 2007
hehehe mon is gone just like tat
just go with the flow to complete the various tasks
didnt think too much. just operate mechanically
anyway the immediate goal is to clear all units.
so got to hustle all concentration to revise. last nite tried my best to complete the tutorial. got to compare the answers and hand up to the lecturer to mark
the idiotic colleague really unethical . misell
so tat is how he got the 12% commission
disgusting person
twisted e facts
too tired to revise anyway . left office ard 8 today. e moment
anyway another 2 more weeks i should end this ordeal.. n Rushed unit
Sunday, July 08, 2007
refreshed . 3 hr power nap helps a lot to study later
mel's dad had this speech which left a deep impression
the wedding solenmization is the 2nd church wedding after anotherpoly'classmate. this time round was in a more posh place. at raffles town club, it wwas simply wonderful to know that this fren of mine who was once so down, attempted to end her life back then , n when i compared her now n then was comforting that she found her true love , envy indeed its so true the bride's most beautiful day would b on her wedding day.
breakfast @ crystal jades with e folks
had to practise tutorial so had to forgone thefamily dinner
i read frm a mag today n find it quite true
women invest n put in emotion in their relationship, usually they have a problem they dont need their other half to solve their issue first but rather listen to them first which is y we dont c men whining over their problems with their guy frens. which is contrary to girls. c them chilling out in cafes gossiping. creating a din @ e pub while they pukes n cry publicly.
n there was this interesting article about the "ex file" or simply better known as theex lover in the feb issue of her world
on this lady who contacted herex aft 10 yrs with the inital email n how it ended coz theres no more sparks. i remember on howits written, if he was in love with you in 1997, doesnt mean hes also in love with you in 2007. & how the reunion should nt end in bed
she felt heart broken once again when they didnt contacted again coz her ex told her they are just frens. as he left for a overseas assignment after 2 months of contact n overseas for 5 yrs. another round of heartbreak n she grown to appreciate her husband now since both the ex & her are married now
sometimes its difficult to keep a distance after the intial intense moments with someone shared
if thats e case to avoid gettting entangledin the whole situation better to just chuck the exfile n happily go on with life
it s not worth it . sometimes after a person is out of your life for quite some time, its not easy to relate to them as well
i"ve learnt from the previous episode n i should think that if i read this article earlier , perhaps i would end up in such state 2 months ago
its would be fine to rekindly memories in the head not at the expense of losing yourself n control of your emotions.
i m pretty much less emotional, although i adopt a different approach to handling my problems in the work aspect to leave out the negative feeling s towardsthose un-coperative colleagues
however i do still listen to my friends while they are whining over their un happy events
the right one might be still out there searching for me . as for now , its good to take a breather & enjoy the otherbetter things i have in life
dinner dinner here i come..
1740
080707
Saturday, July 07, 2007
7/7/07 .. wat a wet day
attending melissa's wedding. n each time i attend wedding the question popping in my head would be .. will i be left on the shelf then also
anyway there is just so much we have to leave it to fate to happen
recently my intake of nicotine has also gradually increased. to boost up my concentration , hopefully that will slim me down
n i m still contemplating whether to go for class a not, since a wedding is once in a lifetime wheres a class can still be made up by another fren's notes
at times i still think about the past memories with him. despite the fact that i m overloaded with information
to distract myself frm the usual tumoils faced daily.
however its just a veri silly action of me. which will add problems to existing problems
at the back of my head i still thinkinh how to handle un cooperative co worker in my team.
was quite an emotional day @ e church wedding
mel's dad lead him to the hall. here she was wearing a white tub gown
her dad actually said to the bride groom., i have fulfiled my duty to bring up my daughter n now i will hand over to you. you must love her. cherish her. protect her.
with that the bride grooom replied n so forth the ceremony ended with the various sequential events
kinda emotional with the nice songs
church song
n the "father" with emotional speech as well . rather affecting
catched e transformer. totally awesome show.
nt only tat also a childhood cartoon turned into life graphic..
hope this successful carton turned movie would be filing part 2
its juzt far too exciting
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
cranky day.. n super long n moody feeling
stay in this co.
tell e boss directly i want a transfer
or stay put..
nonsense
was scolded by a fault nt entirely mine
got to resolve it
was lost trying to find my way
blister in my foot
if i tell him directly would he bad mouth me n affect my chances of transfering
wat if i dont get out successful
probabbly i tink too much
anyway.
if ultimately i tink i cannot stay on then no use cling on liao
i decided nt to b angry liao.. afterall hes stilla friend.
decided that i want to leave in glory.
must wait wait tihis branch is out of deep shit ..first beofre leaving
Monday, July 02, 2007
some words to console a fren
just like investment. i just attended to a client. need to givetime for it to grow
besides its just like up n down in life. we might not get the interest or dividend for this quarter . it does not equates that you will nt get the profit the next round.. so its like a business cycle
looking at this this way helps u to feel better rather than focusing on the problem. we look at the solution . rather to whine n whine on the same old topic
its like super long queue
peculiar for a afternoon
so black face boss did pass a remark to ask meto resign better . he can do better without me
veri hot even now after i left the office i keep thinking about it
he only know how to scold n pass nasty comment but he didnt educate me on my mistake
anyway.. i know he scolded me in the fit of anger but nevertheless i mveri pissed till now
iwi ll remember wat he told me today n i make i sure i make my mark. n pls pray he will nt be under me if nt i make sure he take back his words
mark mywords i will get better n better
still his nasty tone still linger at the back of my head .
how can he use sucha personal attack on me
i tink thats absurd
juz becoz hes stressed doesnt mean he can take it on me
with his freak attitude . its no wonder his best fren choose to be transfered as well
Sunday, July 01, 2007
exercise helps u to focus better & think positively
amk hub with the opening of the new sunday banking .. checking out the stores n how it works
nt only we c the operations we also observe the management team in apron on a refreshing outlook on serious trade like banking
allocated time for everting , even manage to squeeze time for a 30 min nap now revitalised after a 1hr or so swim with a decent average of 5 laps . I thought to myself with an continous existing conscious effort to remind myself n focus on doing something wholeheartedly . veri soon i would be able to see results of my fruitsof labour. be it on personal grooming aspect or work related matters
i have assured myself time n again that my decision for my recent ordeal that has past would be the sunshine after the rain or even seeing the rainbow after a storm. one month has passed tings have gone back to normal n so m i .
the strong character of me persists n continue s to get the better of me
some fren has commented that subciously deep in me i need a lot of assurance . i dont totally agree however a small part of myself tries to blend in the complicated realistic world
people i admit are visual creatures n in order to efffectively secure a positive image. first impression or delibrate grooming is inevitable to deliver certain effects that are deemed to be " bee on stage" as a term stressed in my coporate environment
so tat was the stupidest phase i had a couple of weeks ago.
i thought that everyting i did was under control but nevertheless its nt as simple as it can be
Saturday, June 30, 2007
totally forgotten that its SAT today!
hahaha
luckily my colleague called me up if not i will be in serious trouble
went out with the bunch
feels a bit weird..
y is he so overly friendly n ignoring my fren
hahaha
seems like i m slowly overcoming the effects of Jl syndrome , getting over it
literally flirting like free with tis new one
decide to..
well there s no need to decide clearly hes like a big magnet flirt
juz now on the public bus i was so pissed with this bus captain if i wasnt so tired n worn out i would have scolded him back
for identifying m e as the one who did not tap the ez link literally walk out n identify me
i can understand y fo r the previous incident the bus captain was being whacked for the reason . there r too much of such yaya ppl who never fail to irritae n purge the evil nature of human to self defend n attack another human being.
till then better to nap first. after last nite n rushing to office today i tink got to rest rest n start revision for econs later tonite
Thursday, June 28, 2007
slept @ 5 in the morning today
towards tat weird one. hes like asking my pal & myself out.. dunno wat kind of tricks is he up to.
but i m surely armed this time on his character n his motives
anyway yesterday was quite a smooth day at work so is today so far so gd another 1 more hr to knock & the same cycle of rushing to school & then back home to slumber
tml will b my off day.. yeah.tonite can sleep later.. can enjoy a bit as well
tml oso will be joing the weird man n frens. for a ktv session n coz of asimple call .i have inside info that hes threatening. it juz so puzzling..
i really dunno wat kinf of person i m dealing with..
n i havent done finish mytutorial as usual . will try to squeeze some time to accomodate n submit a bit of work to her then.
recently i found a change in myself in work. try to make peace with colleague. clients
dressed in my most immaculate n meticulous .. in my utmost effort
tring my best to clinch whatever deal i can ..
i always strive to b n act professional whenever possible.
i believe this is for the good
after all banking industry is such a small mkt
always build the network well
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
uneducated n unglam woman
she scolded me right in the face publicly and asked for my name which i answered cooly . like that she oso bui song. n she eavdropped the conversation between myself n my colleague which is certainly nt the way an adult should behave. i have noted down her details & i concluded shes asking for trouble, i certainly have not caused myself to be scolded. shes the one whos got serious attitude problem. even my boss oso got scolded by that idiot..
hahha got to rush out the sales report n complete my tutorial before sandra 's class if nt she sure will nag at us again
1609hrs
260607
2341
back frm class.
surprisingly nt veri tired despite the fact i concentrated for 3 hrs juz now..
these days i still get headache during lesson. i dun take aspirin immediately
i try to bear with it to avoid getting headache
till today there is this air of resentment about JL
its like a pool of air that refuse to go away . still lingers abt all those nonsense
i m nt the stubborn sort but somehow somtimes i wonder if we were still together would anyting makes a difference. or should this relationship be somewhat nutured gradually as what was expected or it will still be a klutz or gonner case. i should logically rationalise its e latter. coz although hes someone nice. his character is nt of acceptable level for a urban active young lady like me.
Monday, June 25, 2007
some lame ppl
with great determination, consistent effort n strong mindset. i believe i can do the impossible.. no worries for 21/7/07. i can jolly well finish the sales report n start my tutorial.. it can be DONE!
some lame ppl just love to disrupt ppl's lives
have a nice partner overseas bu t still want to mess ard . c who he want to mess who. i know how to retaliate. seriously some ppl r just push their luck or trying to be funny.its nt funny at all . i find it disgusted n a great turnoff
well.. i do bite back.. ppl do notice that n try nt to climb over me
there was tis particular person who party like no tml.the typical clubber who watches movies. restuarant. disco . pubbing h n getting laid somehow. wat a so "healthy " lifestyle ppl. parties like theres no tomorrow. who we might not know turns out to be such rubbish . Its nt that we dunno. its not till we see it with our very own eyes. that a decent chap could possibly turn out to be the greatest scumbag ever. i hope hes conscious of that . he ought to be ashamed of it hat. OMG...no comments either. its none of my business n its his lifestyle n he can jolly well afford.
ravi told me i got a strong character. sometimes quite stubborn . dunno if its true but most of the time i listen oso. late marriage is advisable. a transfer is gd for my prospects. i m nt borned witha silver spoon but at least i fight for my own happiness n prospects. better to be less harsher in my language towards my colleagues. better to be strong then to let ppl bully... to each for its own.
one of the recommendation was to get a white rose for 7 weeks once on every fri n t at in the morning . dip in water n sprinkle some to my face. to reduce some bad luck in whatever i m doing since i m a free tinker so juz follow lor.. dunno after 7 weeks would anyting good happen
how peculiar tat ravi uses pocker card to predict my luck. J means that i am missing a man in my life, n the next important ting surrounding happen to be $$, almost i tink about it all the time.which is the secondary purpose y i mstill working in a bank. JL IS HISTORY> I MUST DISCARD IT AWAY N CLEAR IT OFF MY HEAD> NO AMT OF DAMAGE CAN UNDO THE Existing damage.
e monetary returns is just too much a lure to quit this business. banking seems to be a bomming market
property market is soaring high, n sg seems to b a significant financial centre.. which is a gd sign tat i m in the correct industry
my head is groogy at this moment. i feel like collapsing straight to slumber but i know know if i know that i might b haunted by sandra's warning.. if u dont do wat i tell u to do . u will definitely not make it.. tis sentence really initimidates me. my yr 3 is at stake..
Sunday, June 24, 2007
family day today
however i spent the day ktv with joanne n lesibian
dinner with my family
which was nt bad oso
since my dad was away for so long.
aust trip n then msia sarawak kuching trip
its been a while since i ever miss him or think about the past
being busy n occupied is good
i feel happy now without having to check on my hp now n then
dun have to cancel other ppl's appt coz got lastmin date for him
happier for myself now. leading a more meaningful n fruitful life
Saturday, June 23, 2007
dad is back frm holiday
dad is back frm holiday
went for class thereafter dinner withthe gals @ MOF
met up with bro for dinner @ ah hood rd
planning blading session..heheh sounds interesting n exciting
watched finished 1 litre no Namida
so sadening scenes. never fail to shed tears after work when i watch in the wee hrs
in order to keep her memories coz she would not be to walk, talk, carry tings n think logically. she kept a diary since she was 14.
if i had the same disease as her. i might choose to end my life instead of bracing on.there is no medication to cure this sickness n at that moment , medical technology was still not advanced yet.
She kept so many diaries , it has helped to influence many, it must be a veri sad 10yrs for her. she was such a strong girl to tolelarate the discrimination. losing all the tings dear to her as a teenager. nt having dreams. hopes n ambitions . doing things which a normal young lady would do. partying. bf . university. dream career..
life is never fair at all with some many inequalities
sucha bright n intelligent gal
Thursday, June 21, 2007
oh dear not another no business day
customer commented i looked younger.. haha my objective is met
decided to skip class for today
got psycho by lesbian buddy again
tat ccb lzl is getting on my nerves by trying to teach me nt to slag but in a veri nt so nice manner
so i decide to use another smarter approach to counter his attack
spike him n irritate him in an intellectual approach also known as zhi nan er tui
tink i m so easily defeated no way. use my wits to counter such cunnning ppl
as for sales ppl . i ts time to take a step back. colleagues r after all colleagues. can never b wat frens.. impossible
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
appreciative of others n love myself more
immediate goal besides $ is to watch my diet n lose at least 2kg or so..
meeting a lot of ex classmates at mel's wedding. sure n bound to c a lot of bitch
hopefully can stick to a strict n healthy diet
plan to exercise on days which i have no classes..
a slimer n trimer sam
its another resolution that needs to be solved. my jeans r getting tighter n instead of buying more larger clothing .. decide to slim myself instead no more accomodating.
hopefully the " upcoming " stress can aid in the escalation of this process
i tink i m fine just on the slight chubby side .. begining to feel overweight liao
in any case i m coping alone well n i will make the best of my youth
by exploring new areas of myself. appreciate others & love myself more
the rest is really secondary
no more succumbing to supper .. MAGGI MEEEE !!
just yesterday i found a new term there was this email frm top management.. it says like this
I m perturbed by your recent performance such is so "power grammar" to grill n drill into the sale's staff mindset
to myself. anyting can change but not ur own personal character originally
there could be improvement but never lose the real you beneath..
continued 2330 20/6/07
decided to chop off my hair to a neat bob instead.. e SHE HEBE style. hope it suits me n creates a more lively image.. yeah
bought new makeup to enhance.. chanel's oil control
recently top up new makeup to boost up my morale..
makeup helps.. to a minimum..
a lot comes frm the inside within
facial as well n daily care n cleansing
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
just a lot of tots floating in my mind
which i s wat i m myself some times whne i face my clients
the world is never perfect
n so r humans
i cant get over the fact that i was like a bitch last week
or rather this is how a capitalist society function
who is not out for monetary benefits
wats good to u might b poison to me
my ex boss stroll in but somehow the mutual spirit doesnt exisit anymore
i m nt under his care n nt under his command on anything
neverthless different people have different style of handling things
e new one might be a complicant freak
hes oso doing wat he ought to do
its just nt the same again
today is another amazingly quiet day in operation which allows me to blog at this hour @ 1511 hrs
referral is bad.. sales is ok
walk in is like shit
wat else
beside bring a smiling face to work n act n pretend .. basically there is nothing much to comment
never know who can harm u.. have to learn to protect myself
n stay clear of shit
do what is to be done . n quit this freaking low class positon that i m. although it does pays me well
but switching to another environemnet would a relief n ideal to my personal development eventually
Monday, June 18, 2007
fruitful
my courier is back frm shanghai
had pizza for dinner .. @ toapayoh
smooth day..
mel is getting hitched on 7/7/07. she called me during dinner to confirm
omg.. i jsut got news her ex was killed in an accident last yr. such shocking news
dad n bro will only be back tisweekend
Sunday, June 17, 2007
busy sat n chilling at home on sun
during this period has been a most trying period for me to keep my cool
i managed to pull a grip & stop grieving over my loss
focusing on my personal goals , on sales . forcing mysef to act natural n smile more
let go of my oppression
run a event @ harbour front
closed some deals. taggedsome sales
was reading tis flower pod blog. how long can u love some one find tis quite interesting
comment 1
Although I'm recovering from a breakup, I still believe love can last forever. However, love is a cycle that mutates into different forms, through different times and situations. Passionate love, and by that i mean the head over heels, thumping in the hearts, butterflies in the tummy kind of love, does not last imo. As our senses get used to feeling that way about someone, that strong sensory attraction would cease. But another form of love would have arisen by then, that of committal love, a deep seated affection when somebody has become a part of your life, one with you, so much so, that you cannot imagine going though life without your other half.
comment 2
Real love happens only once and that should be forever.If I love really love someone, it's definitely for eternity.
some ppl chose nt to .. they search for a whole lifetime n still cant find tat so called true love
some ppl get phobic of getting entangled in a complicated messed up love life
puting on a brave front to conceal the vulnerable "self "
Zann n e gals made some real effort to buy n cook sushi for a busy gal like me. was truly appreciative of their utter efforts . took e whole day to prepare n e ingredients were rather costly as well
its a special day for me coz i especically kept some shelf space for their "ai xing" snacks
dvd marathon but was so exhausted i fell asleep half way started to pour halfway was a little chilly
i still have some flash backs somet imes , try to brush it off my head. relax n chill with my jie mei
one fine day after work. dunno y i started to shed tears in public like an outburst which can get embarassing for my lesbian buddy oso my bestest female fren . she had to console me like a small kid when u got one of those nastiest day @ work n just fee l like crying out loud n cry it all out..hahaha it works for me once in aw hile i would behave abnormally
the most comforted part is this female fren stare back at this guy n glare back at him as though telling him to back off n stop staring
i stop the cold war with tat cc b colleague. lifes till goes on as normal except we dun chat abt personal stuff.
watched a romantic korean dvd at home n read finished a chinese novel
did some housework n my laundry
everting's going fine
dad's n bro r still in kuching wont b back till next week
till then.. another fresh week for work tml
1760607
2328hrs
Friday, June 15, 2007
long day.. screwed courier service
i really scold them like mad.
words like " Stupid courier came out frm my mouth.."
even my boss oso laugh//
hahahahah
Thursday, June 14, 2007
mad blast last evening
i didnt know what overwhelmed me, this mad rush of blood just came to boil after a long day at work submissive to my superior & my clients.
I just began to yell at some mad hag when they showed ultimate disrespect
then i didnt have much mood to carry on with e family dinner as well , as such i excused myself n took a cab straight home once e car touched down @ sk
once i reached home, i just took everyting out. cooked maggi me for dinner took some headache pills n went straight to bed. was so tired. tat i didnt know.. slept for the next 12 hrs n woke up ard 745 tis morning
with a lot of boiled repression hidden subsciously, i begin to build this layer which i know if i do not release tension, eventually would affect myself mentally
slowly i begin to put jl 's at the back of my mind n move on in the plans of my own
earning as much as possible n obtaining gd grades for my studies , clear it move on to another firm n do someting i m really passionate.
each day when i face my clients, i tell myself i got to bear with it for another 1 more yr until i can safely tell myself i can do without this job.
with this i m blogging in the middle when there are nt much :rabbits" or fish in the br.. heheh
while that idiot cisco keeps poping by time n time to stare at my monitor , i use the coporate website to distract him away
at work it is war. those who command power earns more respect ultimately
hopefully when i get the " cert" i will be a superior who is respectable as well as humanitarian
there r new shuffles , the new BM or boss after 16/6/07 , till then , hes someone whos veri meticulous in his work m n extremely strict in terms of disclipline , work or "compliance" to the rules & regulations
theres tis talk of the day for every briefing n todays 's be emphatetic to your ctm which is actually a show., "an act"
delibrately to delight your customers
other lame ones include : flexible in exercising ur discretions"
managing expectations & mindset
wat else.. whose idea was it anyway
who cares
y customers r getting smarter n smarter these days , they can tell frm a fake or genuine smile anyway
at home i retreat. i simply shut myself in the room n read or msn which is a different me at work
i choose nt to entertain if i have a choice
tats e real me
10am 14/6/07
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
a twist
difficult n nasty should b the term
n somehw or rather . we actually made peace. went out with the ccb colleague for dinner at zam zam
there was an unanimous sort of unwritten non verbal agreement to make peace in a way since we r going 2 c each other at least for the next couple of months , so y make it so painful at least for the moment as it is
anyway till i m switched to anotehr dep. objective is to earn as much as possible
whether a nt we can bond together as a team would b another issue
would like to fulfil the former
its juz abt "pretending" n "acting" in a modified "acceptable behavior in the coporate environment/ so b it then since i m in the" front line" presenting myself in the most "ideal manner " whenever i could
i realize it juz works these way in organisation. higher authority or superior juz like to push work to the lower rank juz becoz they can.. n i oso cant reject certain request.
its like tat in the coporate ladder. wat to do
some ppl just like to disrupt other ppl's day n spoil their day so y should we b victimised instead
theres a lot to plan during these 6 weeks.. veri packed schedule n a lot 2 be achieved oso known as crucial moment to me currently
Monday, June 11, 2007
sad news for the family
its my first experience handling young children. using the syringe to feed , prepare milk n so forth quite a clumsy attempt
luckily my dad n elder bro is ard if nt. .i tink i will b at a total loss.
i even call ard to enquire on how to use to syringe for medication
well as mentioned be4. like it a nt we all have our ups n downs. good times n bad times.. we stil lgot to go thru trials of life
tat rascal is exhausting me.. as well as my dad..
dammnnnn.. y is my mon so long today
another new day
6 mins before opening
tml starts e summer sch for econs
aim to pass for this if nt my yr3 units will b affected coz the prerequisite is nt fulfiled
there r 2 customers outside
no mood today oso today
this coming week will be as usual busy as well with events going on n running on sat
Immediate aim is to clear econs bridging.
6 weeks intensive .
only to pass cant afford to fail this unit
it is oso the last intake this yr n my only chance,
today is quiet in the br
so 9 mins after opening the br.. its looks deadly quiet
mq happens to b the one whos been beside me .. with his irritating consoling sms n wicked sense of humour
a gd pal whos on my side all this while occasionally behaving like some kid throwing on his tantrums
weekend aftermath
my throat feels sore again after intensive ktving over the weekend
chill out with ah lu @ his bro's pub. lousy cocktail,, also known as apple fantasy
sun-famly day with pa.. auntie may
after a while , blogging becomes a habit
its also a normal method to express your negative emotions in a healthy manner
so when u regain your rationality, n browse back over ur past entries , you realize how silly u r at that moment in time
Sunday, June 10, 2007
blank in the air. tried to catch a nap but...
entangling events. touching scenes abt family, frienship n relationship between different groups of people
on the study table . i placed a new box of tissue
blank in the air. tried to catch a nap since today was such a excruciating hot weather but...the moment i try to close my eyes , the series of events just flashed back to me..
its been abt 13 days .. 13 days without ..
19 days since we last saw each other , 23/5/07
no matter how i try to.. i cannot forget easily
i try to live normally like anyone.. have lunch with my dad.. family dinner.. outing with my friends. go dating with other people
but @ the back . one section of my brain cant seem to functioin back rationally in a part of me
since the "MC" i become stronger in terms of my referral
focus consciously on my grooming to accomodate
went facial to enhance myself
i did everyting to boost my self esteem
i started entertaining my folks like usual after a while, i didnt want to let people who care about me worry about me
be the chatty noisy sam
but i m still nt happy honestly
i m disappointed on some outcomes.
certain setbacks juzt continue to haunt u
i m displeased with the particular male co worker
but i force myself to smile n make peace
i keep all the hidden thoughts to myself n keep n shut all possible photos, memories in order to escalate this phase
i even consider getting my self some medication to help me sleep properly instead of waking up halfway early in the morning n feel sore n tired the next working day
i remember in the heart of greed, there was this scene that his gal xin was so devastated over her ex alfred that she oso kept a blog to blog her thoughts
alfred in the drama commented that when people are sad, they dont drink or smoke
they dun find their friends out
on the contrary. they would feel like writing someting & pen it down
well i tink i m oso doing this , but the only difference is i m using english instead of chinese
so i guess it was rather romantic for them to keep a diary even after 2 yrs of separation
even after alfred met into a fatal accident, xin continued to kept a blog as if her ex was still alive
n e ending was after many many yrs.. xin accepted hai ke yi .. n to express her gratitude , she helped him to win the court case for the family heritance..
e theme song " vincent" was a veri sweet melody using the saxophone
it definitely stirs up some memories
A state of half drunk n soberr
spelling might be a bit off
met up with nelly n hong @ orchard for dinner
a little high af3er a couple of drinks
even had horfun 4 supper
,y face looks sparkling clean afeere e facial
feels gd althoughe e pimple squezingsucjs
Friday, June 08, 2007
a veri exciting day
its been a like " acting' day for me with my hair all combed back nicely in a neat pony tail
with immaculate coporate attire n the correct black shoes
today i oso met a lot of premier difficult clients
dunno where they sprout frm..
also handled this celebrity's transaction request..shes got nice parents. gd complexion
friendly father
TGIF
tml facial day
n tennis
if nt can chill with the gals..
everyting is going nicely the way i want it to be
hope the appraisal turns out well
BSI to improve.. it cant go any worse either
Thursday, June 07, 2007
a veri vexing day with inefficient ppl whom i work with
slow n nt helpful
luckily she s nt permanent
i can imagine.. i would have mental problem in the long run coz too much distress n tension
my clients keep scolding me coz shes veri slow in approving n making decision
i wonder how she made it this far
theres these 2 women. those 2 old hag -- birds of a feather flock together . with e same turtle speed
i heard from one colleague when she return back to office at 8pm.. omg they are still in office.. which is veri bad..super slow
i really hate to work with slow & inefficent ppl
my god i kinda miss the black face n bad breath actual boss.. who s more efficient
the new acting in charge is another punk who takes tings strictly by the book
cant get used to a new working style man
terrible....
i hope my new environment gets better gradually....
politely rejected another HR agency coz e scope sucks as well. replied them
thru considering another fren's offer. coz i tink frens should nt work together in case of added conflict
today another 15 mins would b 8/6/07
it will b a better day
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
REtail thERapy today
my mood starts to adjust back to normal mode
sms my boss ard 6.30 to inform him n report "sick" for "mc"
went anjana for facial . shopping @ taka for new "lingerie"
ajitei for tea break
can say is pretty gd
again another round of facial @ my neighbourhood n tennis session after that on sat
plan to make full use of that racquet
there r other tings i would do in the term break
take good care of my face..
enjoy n relax
earn a bit of comm before i get transfered
spend some time with my pa , family n frens
after all its a precious term break..until the next sem
DO NOT DWELL IN THE PAST > SAM > WAKE UP! ITS REALLY NOT HEALTHY MENTALLY
lately i been thinking
i dun feel like a team at work anymore
i juz wanna leave for a new environemnt now
tml when i go back br.. my mood feels like shit now
since i was awakened by a few sms
i sleep n i wake up halfway
i tink got to sleep if nt tml sureveri sleepy
now is like almost 4 in the mornin.woke up almost 30 mins ago
was msning with L.
haiz
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
heart wrenching pain.. heartbreaking
everything hasnt been going smoothly. work, personal .one of my colleague sent me tis
Sam, as a fren i have some advice for you. Dun let your heart rule your head..think about it.. You dun really seems like urself after your break.. very emotional and hard to talk to. you flare up veri easily.. And very thorny.. i think you need to give some thoughts about it. Dun hurt those people around you esp those who care for you. with that i dunno y..
a list of bad things
printer jam
finger banged by meeting rm. so it bleed so luckily i got plaster myself
harrassed by nasty clients. those who come n come n come n look for u for e same ting.. double job
scolded for whole day by weirdos
do tings nt within my scope. nt my problem oso get it frm e client becoz i happen to take over e scope
kenna suan by ccb colleague. someone who is veri yaya
sweared by the above ccb colleague (KNN)i tink after one long day for front line . SWEAR BACCK AT HIM...HE CAnFXXX the wall... its his losing end i f i refuse to refer my work to him
i hate myself like this. i cant seem to gain self control like i always do
was so mad that i slamed the meeting room door which is also the first time i did that in my 1.5yrs in that office. stuck in tat room coz tat knob became stuck halfway n i needed help
e trigger pt came when tat %$&^#( swear at me.. KNN n i lost my cool nt in front of my client but i yelled at tis male colleague
which i believe he has been tolerating me for the past few days
i cry veri easily .. veri moody.. like the whole world is against me ,,, i tear easily like some insane looney
m so bad. i even yell at my best female fren
e only ppl which is spared is my dad. he knows nothing abt me
i have tis heavy sinking feel in my heart like someone just dug it away. i cant breathe
i seem to be taking it out n nt behaving well
i m so angry with my self
i dislike the person i m now
y cant i take it easy like other ppl
其实很爱你
其实很爱你
tis song really moves me
离开不会太悲伤
有些心情该释放
直到眼泪它自己落下
才发现骗不了自己
其实很爱你
现在学着去遗忘
躲开有你的地方
回忆被谁放在书架上
把他从最高的地方落下
感动越是深刻寂寞就越伤人喔
每个人的心里都会有一段伤痕
像白纸的天真仿佛被你伤得好深
相爱不需要理由
离开也没有理由
挽留
recuperating with tis in the nite
i still find it hard to accept it
although i know i cant cheat myself
Sunday, June 03, 2007
some date which i entertained..
n e conclusion.. FAil this candidate.. coz hes too well cordinated. organised n principled. n most impt thing HE IS BORING... y r accountatants like tat.. prudent n reserved
erm.. its definitely a passable but only frens
e bottle of chivas on e rock on fri nite was really lethal.. i was like unleashed completely
super high .. out of control n enjoying in a way
wats past is past. i cant control ting that r beyond my control
i cant change anyting abt it
but i can do someting to improve my future
better luck next time
sleep tightly tonite n dun tink abt it/ him again
i was so silly.. i probabbly die laughinh when i look at the ex posts when i m married with kids
n probabbly tat will be a gd text for my kids to refer on
a learning process
but a painful one
Saturday, June 02, 2007
recovering
forget about all the unhappiness
forgeting someone who has made me upset
sober @ 6 in the morning
i cried like free n made everyone worried
i was drunk
but i could still make it home
without anyone sendind me up
however i puke like free flow oso
now my throat is like tastless n dry
my jaws hurts a lot now coz in order to wake myself up i slap myself really hard . several times i slap myself but i didnt have any feel or any pain
dunno y i self torture myself like this
its like a complete fool
i completely lost myself in rational thinking
n started to sob half way nonstop when i was drunk
which i guess tat was my true self... tat i was truly veri sad over the past few events which happened recently
e ending was like no one had seen me like this before
i was never so depressed openly before
i caused a lot of inconvenience for e working staff there n oso to my colleagues
it was just incontrollable.. n it was great venting off some negative feelings but in a veri stressful manner
tinking back i tink it was rather embarassing act
have to avoid cinileisure for a while
Friday, June 01, 2007
someting which i wrote
I always believe adversity trains one to be ready for the next battle
fresh month
fresh target
chiong for the bestest result before i leave the branch
tis is what a fren sms me
which i find it meaningful
life has its ups and down. sometime the sun shine, sometime the rain pour. but dont forget it take both the sun and rain to make a rainbow..
enjoy a sweetie nite
freaking mad
freaking mad.. really how can tis dumb colleague ask me about other people'swhereabouts when they r perfect individuals who has a mind of their own
always asking me to remind me this n that of them to do their things when its actually none of my business
n i havent even scold her for spoiling my exam leave by calling me so many times in a day for some non important issues previoously
i just screw her back since she bark at me first
"then if u wanna check their attendance call them up. dun ask me" .
i m nt their interpreter
must cool down.. i must cool down..
Thursday, May 31, 2007
e sky is as gloomy as my mood
do not harbour any more hopes of some asshole
self mutilating myself by crying doesnt help
i can help myself by being happy.. really genuinely happy for myself
hey bastard if u happen to read tis. good riddence to you
i wonder whos e next fool t waste time on you. n pls if u continue like this . pls remain single then
holiday to b alone
ultimately this has made me rather melancholy
holiday mood has been spoilt
ultimately tis caused some distress
i have nt been myself lately
havent regain e bubbly self
have been spending time alone more to calm down
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
a rough nite. getting to bed. but i did it..
get over it plans for PH TML
anyway today is PH eve
hahahhahahAHAHAHHAHA
hermit..
need a nice sleep n slumber to recharge
fresh air to breathe
really no wish to dwell on the past
besides having a gd cry listenting to those sad songs.
maybe i shouldnt really have met up with him again
anyway i will move on .. no worries
its part n parcel
its just tat after i took so long to get used to now. i have fresh slash of heartache over again.. thanks for my own obstinate n stubborness